Actually i have a desire to go to church to grasp a little bit of the presence of God. But i am afraid. I am such a hypocrite if i go to church. I am afraid that God will be angry with me if i am going to church. I am such a terrible being. Furthermore i am not really the kind of person that is enjoying the presence of the other people. I ve been alone for a long time now, and now i am afraid to get connected with people again. I want to go to church, i want God to love me but i understand that that just ain t possible no more. I ve lost my innocence a long time again.

How are you able to tolerate being online with all of us sinners here on CA ... truthseeker007 ?

Also ... I was wondering ... How do you get along with people at school or work? Are you able to share Jesus with anyone. I find that the best way to get the focus off of myself ... is to share the love of Jesus.

If you haven't tried this before .... Give it a try and let us know how it goes.

I do everything on my own. i don t talk to people at the university at all except for presentations and stuff like that. I know you think i am just like the rest of you sinners, but that s not true. If you knew what i have done you probably wouldn t be talking with me anymore. And Yes i am going to share Jesus with the whole world. It s like a fire deep inside of me that tells me go study the scriptures and write a book. And so i ll write a book in which i handle the prophetic things pragmatically, clearly and urgently. I am just going to do things and i know that God will not let the devil kill me before i ve finished my work. It s a great honour to work for the lord, but somehow i want more. I want God to love me and i want to share love. In my new age years my conciounce became weaker. I thought that there were no rules anymore, rules were bad. I became agressive, unthankfull, pornographic, drugs loving, smoking horrible etc. I bet you ve never literally fought against parents or other family members, your mom telling you she wished you were never born. You are all very sweet people but you don t really know what it is like untill you have been that way yourself. I apreciate the fact that i am allowed to come here and talk with you, you are the only ones i can talk to and i am glad i ve found you.

Last time i went to church i felt terrible, like Judas. It was like i didn t realize my wickedness untill i was in the presence of the Lord. it hurted so much, i really had a hard time in church there. I think it was God s way of telling me i am not welcome there unfortunately.

That's too bad. Wish I could change your mind however I've never achieved that on this forum. However, at least you can know you are welcome here. We can be your church.

It s obvious that it s too late for me. God doesn t want me no more and it s satan s fault. Yesterday i asked God to remove the breath of life from me, but he doesn t want to do that. I don t want to exist any longer. I want to die, but i cannot commit suicide. Therefore i will train based on will power and i will challenge one of the demons to fight till one of us dies. So i can unleash my anger and my worries are over. Kind of like the next movie;

http://video.google.nl/videoplay?docid=-659316052100974576&q=DBZ+Movie+8+broly+legendary&total=172&start=10&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=1

I think i don t have a chance, but i got to try, it s all i can do,

please pray for power, maybe i ll win.

its never to late truthseeker. Read the parable of the householder in Matthew 20:1-16. I think this is a good example of its never to late.

pkrause

ps: you will always be on our pray list, remember someone is always praying for you. And God loves you no matter what.

Thanks KRause, but i don t care about my destiny anymore. However i want other people to be able to know the truth so i need some answers. What exactly is JEsus doing in the holiest of holiest? What are the three woes of revelation?

Thanks in advance, i got to hurry, there is not much time left. Please pray for more time. People need to be sealed before it s too late.

You need help, and I'm glad you are here, but you need the kind of help that you can get only from someone who can talk to you in person and pray with you and study with you.

Everyone is welcome to worship, pray, and study in church.

Wait a minute....You say that God doesn't want you no more, but you have a desire to do what is right and one of those desires is to go to church??? I would say that you are a bit confused as to who is desiring you and who is seeking your death....

God is life, and truth and light. He desires us to fellowship together....Satan will do anything to get you confused and troubled and give you thoughts of suicide....

If you desire life, and it sounds like you do, then get thee hence to a church and begin fellowshiping....Listen to others as they begin to listen to you....You might be surprized at what you can learn from others.....

And quit this whining stuff about God not wanting you, it's too late for you ect....That's just satan yellin' in your ears and clouding the real Voice that you need to listen to...God's quiet voice...You can hear it during prayer, ...if you listen...