Truthseeker...it matters not what sin you have in your life, we (well I think I can speak for everyone here but at least I) am/are not going to reject you. Evil is never "pretty" but people have value, even on death row. Your value has nothing to do with what you have done..it has to do with the fact that God created you, he has a plan for your life, and you are of more worth than all the money in the world, irregardless of your past.

Well said Taylor. Forget the past ... just move forward and because life is so short ... we best get moving on it quickly ... we ain't got long ... to stay here.

Steal Away to Jesus
-------------------------
Refrain

Steal away, steal away, steal away to Jesus!
Steal away, steal away home,
I ain’t got long to stay here.

My Lord, He calls me,
He calls me by the thunder;
The trumpet sounds within my soul,
I ain’t got long to stay here.

Refrain

Green trees are bending,
Poor sinners stand a-trembling;
The trumpet sounds within my soul,
I ain’t got long to stay here.

Refrain

My Lord, He calls me,
He calls me by the lightning;
The trumpet sounds within my soul,
I ain’t got long to stay here.

I know people always say God is love etc. I also believe God is love, intelligent and wonderfull. However i don t think God likes me personally. For instance, when i pray for my foot to be healed so i can exercise...nothing happens. There are many other things i ve prayed for without results. I also know there are people whom prayers get answered.

But i can understand it. If you are able to form a team for the olympics you would only select the best. I think that by Jesus sacrifice, jesus is able to buy who HE wants. Why should he want to buy me? i am different than others, not social etc etc. If God loves me, he would have let me know. I am not angry with God anymore, i just accept the facts. I am not pinpointing God on some things i disagree with, they are totally compensated by a lot of loving acts and wonderfull creations, his policy etc. Jesus deserves fine people like you and i truly wish you will all spent an everlasting happy eternity together. Once you see what is written in the books concerning me, you ll all see why God doesn t want me in heaven.

I can see that I still need to work on you to believe that God does want you in heaven. If he wants people like Moses and David who were murderers ... then He wants YOU.

Truthseeker ... do you enjoy good Christian music? Do you like to sing? Do you play an instrument? All of these things can be very uplifting and bring one close to God. Just from my experience ... I know that when I feel far from God ... I've sat down at the piano and played to my heart's content. In this way ... I can let God speak to me. Give it a try. You might like it.

Hey Truthseeker,

It's not true that Jesus only wants the best in heaven-- that is, the best from the standpoint of being "good" in a churchy sorta way. I wouldn't want this to be misunderstood, but the fact is that God's glory is in saving the very worst. And He has proven that He does that.

I'm not going to go into all the details because I don't want anyone to get the idea that there is any glory or romance or anything positive at all in doing evil; but let me tell you that you ain't the worst by a long shot. I don't know and I don't really care to know what you have done, but there is no sin that Jesus won't forgive and cleanse us of. I mean NOTHING. If you can imagine the very worst sins and crimes-- well, that is not even close to being something God won't forgive.

All God really asks is that we trust Him and keep trusting Him. Tell Him that no matter what, you will simply trust Him. You don't have to do anything else. In fact the truth is you and I can't do anything else. The whole thing from beginning to end is a matter of trusting Him.

Obedience is important too of course, but obedience comes as a result of completely trusting Him and acknowledging you are helpless and hopeless without Him and without His power in your life. It took me over 30 years to really see this, so I know how hard it is.

Another thing I wanted to say is that much of what you've said up to now reminds me of one of my closest childhood friends who I grew up with. He has the same problems you have. I know your agony and pain and confusion. Just stick around here on the Forum and keep talking and listening to friends who care. There are other things you can do, but it has to start with that.

Truthseeker...for you I think Wayne Watson wrote this song:

Smile--Make 'em think you're happy
Lie--And say that things are fine
And hide that empty longing that you feel
Don't ever show it
Just keep your heart concealed
Why--Are the days so lonely
Where can a heart go free
And who will dry the tears that no one's seen
There must be someone
To share your silent dreams

Jesus--He meets you where you are
Jesus--He heals your secret scars
All the love you're longing for is
Jesus--The friend of a wounded heart

Jan,

For normal people, who might be suffering from a bit of bad circumstances or a temporary bout with mild depression, that is good advice...

However, for Truthseeker, he needs to be real here, and tell us the truth. He don't need to act and say that everything's fine...Cus we know it aint true...

No, Truthseeker needs to write a blog that all can reply to...and reflect what he is saying. He needs to see what he is saying and ponder what he is saying...if he can handle that...


Oh, and Rush4hire, whatever you do, do not start a counseling service....you might find yourself out of patients...

That's good. Keep yourself very busy. That helps more than anything.

You have alot of insight which is something you might not know about yourself. Which reminds me Wizard of Oz, where the Lion wanted more than anything to have courage but he was actually very courageous, and the Tin Man wanted a heart but he whole time he has been showing that he has a very big heart. And the scare crow was like a genius, but he kept complaining that he didn't have a brain.

Well I quoted some Bible verses and it seems they all got deleted.

I felt it might prove helpful to identify with people in the Bible who committed suicide or who wanted God to end their lives. Some of those verses where probably irrelevant. I would mostly remember how Elijah and Jonah, and maybe others I don't know about, where very great prophets and very close to God, but they asked God to end their lives:

Johan 4:3 Therefore now, O LORD, take, I beseech thee, my life from me; for [it is] better for me to die than to live.

1 Kings 19:4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I [am] not better than my fathers.

For me, it helps to identify with the people who actually made a difference in this world, especially if they have gone through the same things I'm going through. I know what it's like. I have asked God to take my life with all sincerity, really hoping that He actually would and make it so I would be as though I had never been born.

But go to the Word for everything. People have laughed me to scorn, even old leaders in this church, because I have said that every situation we might ever have to face with has already been dealt with in the Bible in one form or another. Or what else does it mean in 1 Corinthians 10?

1 Cor. 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man...

I hope you also find a ministry. There's a big need for bible workers everywhere. There should be a program to join, but if not, just order some Bible studies from Amazing Facts and go about signing people up to take a course. Amazing Facts even has some kind of package for evangelism. Or if you can afford AFCOE or the "Share Him" program. There are lots of possibilities.

I know that just keeping up with common duties in life is really not very fulfilling. You want to be a disciple.

If you're not ready for any of those things, just keep studying and sharing what you're learning with someone until you are ready, which might take years. Try creating your own Bible study or evangelism course. That's what I'm doing.

I don t know what to say except...Thank you!. It is so frustrating to be focused on myself all the time, but due to your prayers i can feel rest coming over me on this sabbath. This is clearly an eye opener for me. Jesus did so much for me, he payed such a tremendous price for worthless wurms like us. All the time you hear people saying "Jesus died for you" without intonantion or emotion. When i am in a heavy depression all i can do is theorise, but now i have a moment of peace and instantly i see that all my accusations towards God are ridiculous. Jesus is worth so incredibly much, but because of the politicalisation of religion and the age of atheistic science, many forget how important it is to have Jesus central in your life. I am so glad that you catch me up everytime i fall. You are like a bridge that won t collapse easily despite the weight of me as a burden. I wish i lived with all of you guys in one house. I Wish there were more believers like you. I don t know how long this feeling of peace will last, but as i see things now, all i can do is praise God. Maybe we should be just a little angry with God for suffering so much for worthless worms like us. I geuss once we repent, we become born again which brings us closer to God. We serve an awesome God, wish i could be aware of that all the time. It is unbelievable how many dark thoughts enter my mind all the time, like i am fighting against invisible persons telling me wrong stuff all of the time. I cannot explain these voices in my head, they seem so intelligent, that s the reason i am often listening to them, thinking they are right. I hope Jesus will continue to break down my ego and build up a humble spirit. I want to reflect Jesus everywhere. I wish i was already there, but it takes courage and those voices have to stop. For example, even after 2 years i am still not baptised because i know that once the voices inside my head begin to relevate the things i believe, i ll end up with some prostitutes while being angry with God. Anyway thanks for all of your prayers.

We are praying for you Truthseeker! I am glad you can see some hope and feel some of that peace that only God can bring to your life. God has plans for your life and they are way better than anything you could ever dream up for yourself! Oh, the road won't always be easy but it will very often be rewarding...as you see how much God loves you and the people that surround you.

Have a wonderful Sabbath!