It may sound strange but i need some advice. I have decided to leave this life behind. I know exactly how i can easily do this. First i am going to get myself drunk, then i am going to sit in an isolated shed and burn charcoal. This way, my body is not able to receive oxigen. I think this is the most human method of euthanasia.

However there are still some remaining issues; - i don t want my parents to suffer because of me. How should i prepare them for my actions? I think maybe it is better to let them know that if they want to see me happier they should realize it would be better if i didn t exist at all. I think i ll write wonderfull letters to my parents, about my struggles and why i finally find rest when i am gone. Also expressing my grattitude for the way they raised me etc, is important.

I really want to go NOW but i cannot do that. I don t want my parents to be miserable. They do certainly not deserve that. Maybe i should just wait a little longer till they are gone. I don t understand why they don t hate me like all the rest of f.ckin world. Anybody have any tips on how i can handle this discretely? Please don t give me hope-nonsense and telling me that life is fine etc. I am very well able to consider my own actions and i have thought things through.

Thanks in advance...

The only help I can give you is what I truly believe - I can't lie and dance around and pretend that your choice is OK.

I believe in freedom of choice as long as the choice does not harm others. But there is no way to make it so that suicide does not harm others - particularly your parents but a wide variety of other people too.

So all I can say to you is this: don't do it. Suicide is the single most selfish thing someone can do. Those left behind never really recover.

It takes courage to end your life, I know. But it takes even more courage to go on living. You might not feel like you're brave enough - but you need to shift your focus from your own pain to that of others.

If your life sucks that badly, then by all means make huge changes. Move to a commune somewhere and go back to nature. Change countries, societies. Change your name and your style. Nothing is inevitable, your current life is not locked in - at all. It's all about choices, and almost every choice is better than the one you're contemplating.

I'll be praying for you, and I hope you'll take that concern for your parents - which it does you credit that you've already expressed - and use it as a reason to keep on living, even if there don't seem to be many other good ones at the moment.

Bravus is right. There will be better days, but you are technically right - this world sucks. It's a dog-eat-dog-world and, by the grace of God, I try not to play that sick game.

Here's a tip: While you might not feel loved, all I can tell you is God loves you more than Himself. Pray...ask God to give you peace. He can redirect your thoughts away from yourself and your problems. Hang in there...God needs you around. He has plans for you here & now and in the future. God loves you man!

I'll pray for you right now, out loud:

Jesus...help! Truthseeker is in a lot of pain. Please give him peace. Please, because of your agape love, turn things around for him. I ask this in your name, Amen!

Hang in there,

ROb

Truthseeker ... Friend.

The ones above me have offered good thoughts. Not sure what more can be said. But if you are going through with your plan ... I think you had some good ideas about writing out your painful experiences so that your parents can know. You have a kind heart Truthseeker and that is clear from all that you write. You also have a heart for God. Unfortunately ... you have wanted to do what YOU want to do and not what GOD wants you to do.

I don't mean to offend you ....

Because I consider you a friend ... I hope I can say this ... but God doesn't need you. You need God but He can accomplish HIS plans just by speaking. He spoke and the Earth was formed. You have had great plans for God but they were not HIS plans. God just wants your heart and for you to live a life that glorifies Him no matter how painful it may be.

He understands that you have to bail out. He will forgive you. But Oh what would be so much better ... if you would just stick it out and do this thing (life) HIS way.

Well ... you have made up your mind. I don't mean to try to change your mind. But, I will miss you friend. Perhaps you don't know it ... but you have people on this planet that care for you and would miss you. I can assure you that there are people on this forum that fall into this catagory. I am one. And your parents obviously believe in you and care for you.

Anyway .... perhaps you could at least give us all a closing letter. Perhaps we could learn from your experience of pain. But, I suspect that you are not alone in your pain. Some of us here know a little about pain. We are sticking it out and hope that you will.

I think about suicide regularly. Those times are very dark periods in my life. I now understand.there is no way you can make it easy for your parents, friends and relatives. It is going to be hard for all of them regardless as to how you prepare them.

Consider everyone else before you have thoughts for yourself. It is important that you understand and know for real that ending your life now is going to hurt your parents, friends and relatives much more than it is going to hurt you.

Seeing that your life now sucks, you need to look outwards to others who can help you change your life. The first thing you need to do is to read the book of John right through. AND in doing that you need to see a picture of Jesus and what He can do to change your life around.

Oh . . . I do have suicidal thoughts regularly. BUT through Jesus help I work through those minutes and hours and days. Suicide is always there in my mind, sometimes stronger than others. BUT I Choose to live through Jesus help. Each minute of the day, choose to live and choose to live for the betterment of others. Choose to live for Jesus.

Truthseeker,

As Bravus said, "All I can say to you is this: don't do it. Suicide is the single most selfish thing someone can do. Those left behind never really recover.

It takes courage to end your life, I know. But it takes even more courage to go on living. You might not feel like you're brave enough - but you need to shift your focus from your own pain to that of others."

And then as Rob said,

Please get help immediately. If I knew how where to call law enforcement to alert them of your need, I would do so.

Although much of my reply is quotes others have already said, the message is heartfelt. I am praying for you.

Bravus i know you are right, i cannot do this to my parents. Sometimes i wonder if they love me or not. I wish they told me they did not, then my choice would be a very easy, painless one.
I am too tired to make big changes, i cannot do that anymore. I am stuck in a circle of pornography and hate, even after years of begging God to set me free and doing all things i could possibly do to please the Lord.
So please Robert don t give me that sh.t about God loves me. God surely doesn t love me at all. God is an egocentric God. He makes himself suffer so in the end he can be honoured because "his own honour doesn t have any value". Those are the words of the master himself. God is not love. God is a little better than satan, does that make him good? Well you probably don t understand what i am saying and you are right . Why listen to some porn-addict angry guy? At least i have never proclaimed myself righteous and given false hope to people. I know i am sh.t and everybody knows it.

HEY TRUTHSEEKER

WELL I am sure that the others here have said a lot
for you to think about

all I CAN say is I will pray for you that GOD
gives you some kind of understand as to what you are
searching for.

I DONT know you family back ground or your parnets
but I DO KNOW that GOD wants you saved and SATIN
wants you dead

please consider what these people have written you.


I WILL pray morning noon and evening about this


dgrimm60

God doesn't love you any less Truthseeker ... just because you are a "porn-addicted angry guy". The rest of us put on a big holy face. But, we are all sinners ... just with different sins. We are no different than you. And anyway ... we love you. You are a fellow Christian sufferer. Stick around and support, direct and encourage us together. We have much we could learn from you and have learned since you joined us here.

Hey Redwood i really appreciate all of your posts. I believe you are speaking from the heart, which means your heart is truly filled with love. Maybe you are right about that let-God-do-the-work thing but if i do that God will say in the end i am a useless fruitless slave. Either way i ll end up in hell. I feel like my soul has been raped by God. I know i make bad decisions, i cannot help it. Sometimes i am doing things without actually knowing why i do it, and then i realise i am mentally ill. God doesn t care about me, i refuse to hope for better days, because they ain t gonna come.

I always feel like you are the best and only friend i had the last year. I really appreciate that and i am sorry for you that you are not able to walk just like anyone else. I have asked God to help you with that but unfortunately miracles don t belong to this age. Of course i ll write a closing letter which i ll post on this forum. There are still a lot of things i have to plan and make right so my decision won t hurt my parents too much. So i apologize, you have to bear my presence just some more weeks/months if you don t mind.