Beryl. I didn't know he had such a good brain. It doesn't even need exercise. But just think of what it could amount to if he did exercise. And yes to all of you. I agree that exercise is powerful. Being a former therapist and doing exercises all day every work day ... I can attest to its power.

Bottom line is we all can see great potential in Truthseeker. What a waste for him to end his life just because life is hard. And life IS hard. It is hard for all of us to varying degrees.

Hang in there Truthseeker. Use that math skill to better use.

There are people, who have been helped to amazing degrees by Dr. Niel Nedley with his depression recovery people. People who are depressed because of a wrong picture of God, people who are depressed because of deep sin in their lives, people who are depressed because their world has literally fallen apart...he has had many wealthy and influencial people go through his program as well as the average Joe. I may not agree with every single thing he espouses but I do know that he has had phenominal success in helping people completely overcome depression. He's had people who can hardly walk across the room, and won't make any eye contact and won't talk, who have lost their families, their jobs, and nearly their lives and they have gone on to lead productive lives. A huge percentage of his patients haven't been SDA and people from government employees to Mormons are using the program for their friends, churches, and companies to help others. ( http://www.drnedley.com/ despite the cost I would go to the residential program if I were you..19 days...and yes your parents would probably be willing to go into debt to do this, because debt is payable back...suicide is permanent. Also if you can't you can purchase the book and DVD but I would highly recommend the residential program. )

Whether you feel it or not, whether you believe it or not, whether you have been successful in the past or not, it doesn't change the fact that God loves you...that God wants you in heaven way more than you ever wanted to be there, that God isn't looking for an excuse to keep you out but to get you in. It also doens't change the fact that no matter how much your parents love you or not, no matter what you do to "prepare them" or not, they will hurt for the rest of their lives if you end it all...they will hurt...that gut-wrenching pain that never goes away...trust me. There is no cure for their pain except for you to get the help you need. AND THERE IS help and THERE are cures. God isn't horrified by you...he created you and loves you deeply regardless of what you do or what sin you have in your life. His grace is bigger than your sin, His strength is greater than any sin. There is hope, even if you feel there is none.

Hi Truthseeker,

I once attempted to take my own life, actually 3 times all within a few months. It took time to get there, but the road there took 10 years. It started by drinking while I was still going to church. I got to the point where I didn't care anymore either.

I am not going to tell you how I tried because... that just might get me back in that frame of mind if you did it.

I know how you feel, I know about the addictions to porn, I know how it really hammers you. It's like you know you shouldn't go there and then you do. then you feel like [censored] but you can't stop going back. while you're looking at it, you're trying to find the right one and just keep lookin and looking. Then when it's all over the mind is totally screwed up and you almost feel stoned. There's no easy way out of that because Satan hammers the [censored] out of you and you know what he says is true, because you are what he tells you.

During the time I was suicidal I was wanting only one thing. That was for just one ******* person to love me. That's all I wanted, nothing more just one. But I couldn't find anyone. (No one could I found out later.)

I can tell you one thing for sure, I did not understand how much God loved me back then. I had a totally wrong idea of who He is and that messed me up.

I finally realized that I needed help and just went for some help. I told God that I knew that I was "supposed" to love Him but I just didn't. If He was going to change me He'd have to do it because I couldn't nor did I really want to but yet I did, if that makes sense.

What ended up happening is that I got the help I needed and it wasn't like I thought. I thought people would be telling I need to do this and that and stay away from bla bla bla. What it was, was a journey inside me, my thoughts and feelings and why I felt that way I did and why did I do those things that I did. I found the answers brother!

I don't want to make this too long but I found that as a child I needed to be loved and was loved by my mother. She got her joy from me and that was good. Then one day I found that she was getting her joy from something else, a bottle and I began to do things and find ways to get loved. I grew up as a people pleaser, I learned how to play guitar and played for hours and hours a day just so people would love me.

Fast forward: Here I am in a basement thinking about death and trying it but failing. I was laying in a hospital and looking up at the nurse who was reading her book taking care of me watching over me. There it was, a little bit of love.

Well I went on got the help as I said and then it hit me as I stood there and told my father for the first time in my life that I can remember that I loved him, that I needed to love. That was the beginning of my father and mys relationship. From there I learned about how much God loved me and that I could open up to Him with everything.

I learned about who He really was and was so thankful to learn the truth about Him. It took a total surrender on my part and I did not care about anyone or anything else but knowing God.

He did some amazing things in my life. I got victory over those things that I couldn't before. Victory is possible and it is availabe if you really want it.

Now looking back I am so thank ful that I did not succeed. Life is really good with God.

I hope really hope that you will not do this. I will pray for you.

Norman

Man, how heartless you are....You say you love your parents but are going to kill yourself...Let me tell you of one family of a good friend of mine who killed himself between anti-depression drugs..

He had it rough...2 failed marriages, a high pressure job in the computer business, and personal problems up the ying-yang...He was maintained on anti-depression drugs and going to therapy when the pressure in his life went up a few more notches.Long story short- he killed himself. His dad and mother buried him. They were weeping all the time. His dad told me, " The children bury the parents...not the other way around. it's just not right." He still carrys the guilt around with him that maybe he could have don't something....maybe he could have kept in touch with his son, maybe he could have done SOMETHING....He misses his young friend that he raised, his son... His son also left a lengthy note, and told his parents not to worry and to just forget about him as he was a mess up...
....but his parents never did....

and truthseeker....it's been 10 years...and they still miss him like they did the day they discovered that he had died.

Just remember, you get to bring that to your parents when you die...and EVERY day til they die...Yeah, you go ahead and kill yourself and say that you are doing the world a favor...The truth of the matter is that you adding to the burdens of your aged parents. Get real, buddy, the world has been around a lot longer than you have and it never did revolve around you...

Oh, and if you think I am giving you permission to kill yourself, think again, buddy. I am trying to make it easier on those you leave behind...They don't want to take care of a vegetable, but if truth be known, they dont' want you dead either...and if given a choice between a vegetable and a funeral, ...well, I am not sure...people are funny in thier thinking....but some opt for a vegetable...where the state takes care of them, and they have bedsores, and don't smell very pleasent in those nursing homes and they do a lot of drooling....but you'll smile, that strange toothed smile after a few months with possibly a flat head from laying in bed all the time...

Of course, if you want to work thru your problems, I suggest you consider a good therapist...there are good ones out there...

truthseeker stop feeling sorry for yourself. I know that down deep in your heart you know that God loves you. Listen to all the good advice from bravus, redwood and the others. You keep saying that you have no friends, but you have everyone on this forum that are here to listen to you. Don't you believe that God directed you to this forum? And you keep saying that God did this or that to you. You need to read Job and read it again and again. It also says in the bible that God will never allow things to happen to us more than we can handle. So stop giving up and start to live life to the fullest that you can. I think that you are thinking about yourself to much. They say that if you start helping others and stop looking at how bad things get for you that one day you'll wonder what all the fuss was all about. Your always on our pray list. Sorry if I'm coming on to strong. But you are loved by all of us and God even if you don't.

pkrause

Norman, that took real courage to share from your personal experience. I applaud your honesty and caring! Thanks for posting that.

I will pray for you also. I will pray that you recover from Depression. I have several friends who feel like you. One friend takes drugs and is much better. There is to much of this going on today. I do not believe in coincidence. I believe there are drugs in the public water supply or food additives that magnify these feelings.

TruthSeeker .... I would like to follow up on what Joe says.

THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES with God. He has lead you here for a reason. And the reason is that there are lots of people from all over the world that care about you and are pulling and praying for you.

Just look at how vulnerable Norman was. He put himself out there for you. He is one you can relate to. Just read what he said. He is a kindred spirit. He knows. He cares.

All that is left for you to do is to LISTEN.

God LOVES you.

And so do a lot of people here on this forum.

Hi Taylor,

I appreciate the kind words however it did not take courage. It's like I had to say something. I had a job to go to but put it off till I was finished and believe me, we need the money right now. Here my brother is sinking and I can be of help and don't say anything? Can't do that.

Norman

ok then it showed compassion...which is wonderful as well! :)