OOOOooooohhhhh boy....Here's a reciepe for disaster....

and the gremlins are visiting my house, and I am having writer's cramps....


dang'ed fingers...wont do what they are supposed to do....write, create, make sensible fun reading material, cerebral candy....come on boys...

Where's my Dr. Jeckyl medicine? Oh Redwood, you know those poppys that you have???????

Please give us as much of that as you can. We love it.

I have been havin a case of cerebralitis ... do you think this candy would help my ailment?



Look. I am already in enough trouble here for my poppy trafficin. I have had too much traffic comin here as it is. I for sure can't have any more traffic .... like havin you come here. Sorry. No invitation.

[Cue the music "The Lone Ranger]
Narrator: It the

the Redwood Dilema

Starring Redwood as Redwood
Genie as Genie
Blanche as Blanche

and
a couple of non-discript types as needed.

We last left our fearful protagonist making plans on how to circumvent the Judicial system with Genie-The scene takes place at the local jailhouse. Redwood with a jailsuit with the numbers 1234 on the front and back of suit.

Genie: Do you think that will work?

Redwood:It's gotta work!

Genie:Well, hopefully, you can get outta here by 9/11.

Redwood:I want it to work! I want out of here...See that guy over there.

Genie:Yeah....

Redwood:Well, he's been lookin' at me...kinda hungry like...gives me the creeps...

Genie:We have got to get you out of here. Ok, I am filing a brief with the court and your animontronics is out and about

Redwood: Thank you and let's get this process moving. and the sooner the better...I don't think that guy over there is gonna wait much longer...

Genie: Um, what ever you do, grab what ever you need in your pocket....

Redwood: Why? there's nothing in my pocket....or is there?

Genie:Just reach in and get what's there...

Redwood:Are there keys??

Genie:Whatever you need...

Redwood:Ok, let's see.[gets something out of pocket] Look at that...keys!

Genie:There ya go...

Redwood:Can't do it.

Genie:What?!?!

Redwood:I can't do that...I will be running for the rest of my life...

Genie:Ok..[poof! keys dissappear]

Redwood: Hey, wait a minute. What's happening with Blanch?

Genie:I don't think you wanna know.

Redwood:that's all I need to know. Let's have them keys back.

Genie:Get them yourself...in your pocket. [Redwood reaches into pocket, and sure enough there is this credit card key.]

Redwood:This ain't gonna work. not on these bars and grills...

Genie:Never underestimate a genie...Try it. Slide it between the bars and the door.

Redwood:Ok, [does as genie suggests, and the door opens]

Genie: See...NEVER underestimate The genie....

As Redwood goes out the door, a couple of prisoners see him and head for the door. Redwood closes the door and says,

Redwood: Shussh, guys...Gonna be right back...[The door closes and locks fast. ]

Redwood makes his way to the womens jail facilities, unbeknowns to the guards, duo to an invisibility cloak borrowed from Harry Potter via his pocket. Redwood observes Blanche going from guard to guard trying to get keys from them to get out.

Redwood: Blanche, what are you doing?

Blanche:Trying to get out.[catches herself talking to nothing or thinks there is nothing. cautiously wispers-] Redwood??? Where are you?????

Redwood:Right here. Come on over to the door...

Blanch:Why [as she moves over to the door.]? I must be nuts. I am talking to a voice that sounds like Redwood.

Redwood: If the door opens, will it convince you that I am here?

Blanche: Oh, yeah, like that's going to [door opens] happen....[she says weakly]

Redwood: Come on...

Blanch: uh, right....ok...where are we going?

Blanch and Redwood make it back to Redwoods cell, open the door, and takes off the invisiblity cloak. The other prisoners are talking among themselves. The guards havent noticed Redwoods disappearance nor his and Blanche's reappearance in the corner of the room.

Prisoner a: [loudly] Hey, what we gots here?

Redwood: Um, guys...let's not go there.

Prisoner b: And why not, you pyoo-neey little twirp?

Redwood: [As he pulls out a 50 caliber rubber bullet machine gun] 'Cuz you guys don't want to get hurt now, do you?

Prisoner c: I don't know. I thinks we can risk it, eh boys?

Redwood starts firing, causing the prisoners to fall and clutch thier chests and arms and legs. Of course, the noise attracts the attention of the guards, who immediately signal a Lock Down.

Genie: Guards, as an officer of the court, I demand to know how this female prisoner got into a male facility and how this prisoner/my client got a specialized weapon in said facility???

Warden:[dumbfounded and quietly says] I am sure we don't know...

Genie: I demand that you take my client and his wife back to court immediately

Warden: How did you know that it was his wife?

Genie: Who else is he gonna defend this vigiorously?

Warden: What about say a young pretty damsel in distress?

Genie: Hey! This is his wife. SHE doesn't want this going there.

Blanche: Darn tootin' I don't!

Scene Two
The Court Room

Judge: and because the prisoner returned to his cell, albeit with his wife, the court finds that the prisoner is NOT a bad man and is willing to move his court date up to today.

Prosecutor: Your honor, I object. We can't possibly get evidence together...

Judge: You want to explain the jail house secenerio, with a logical explaination?

Genie: I doubt there IS a logical explaination.

At that moment, a policeman files into the courtroom and up to the prosecutor.

Policeman: Mr. Prosecutor, we found this man trying to collect the poppy flowers after we had raided Redwood's house...

Prosecutor: Who is this guy?

Policeman: well, he goes by the name of Ichabod, sir. And he kinda looks like him [pointing to Redwood]

Judge: Gentlemen, do you have a case or not?

Prosecutor: Apparently, we don't your honor. We formally request that all charges be dropped against Redwood and Blanche.


Redwood Blanche, and Genie cheer.

Narrator: ....And that explains how Redwood got to be known as a 'shady drug manufactoror' and how all the charges against him got dropped. And he lived happily ever after......

Epiloge

Scene: the Jail house. Ichabod puts on the jail suit with the numbers 1234...Reaches into the pocket and pull out a credit card........



and Bravus says:Hauntingly beautiful stuff

Stay tuned next week, same time, same club for the next exciting adventure......

Praise God. I am so glad to be found innocent. My name is now vindicated both on this Forum and in this story. I am kickin my heals. Thanks Neil.

But I do feel bad for Ichabod. What can we do for him to get him off the hook?

eeeehhhh, let him write his own story....he's an author...

Hooray!!!!

(Neil, I thought that there was a clapping smilie, but I couldn't find it, so I am giving you a flower. Could it be a......? :) )

Don't even suggest that we have such things on this Forum Liz !!!

Thank you for the smilie with the flower...one present does indeed deserve another....but I am a little confused....

The question "Could it be a.....?" is not as clear as it should be and I flunked mind reading in the third grade...Are you asking for a sequal????

If so, I am not sure you are asking the right fellow..Ask Ichy...he a writer...He's authored at least one book and ghosted another, I am told...

I am sure that if you asked nicely, begged in a groveling fashion, threaten within an inch of his life, bribed to the proper amount, he will give you a sequal....maybe...

Uh, no, Neil, I wasn't asking for a sequel...not that you couldn't do one.

I was trying to be clever, and obviously failed. I was giving you a flower....that might possibly be......a poppy. Get it?? Get it?? A poppy.

Don't feel bad, I tend to have to explain myself a lot. Oh, well, I thought it was clever.

Duh!!!!!





OOOOooooh, my forehead...I hate it when I hit it thusly...