His last post was on Friday around noon. Did he go somewhere for the weekend? Is he alright? Does anyone know?

It's Monday, a day after the weekend in summer....

It's a good chance that he's on the road somewhere's vacationinig....or just not able to get to the 'puter...

Like me, he's probably not able to get to the computer this past weekend. I didn't have access to clubadventist.


Of course, if **I** was to make something up, I would say something to the effect that he is out tending to his poppys, his new illicit income...


....But **I** didn't say that....

No posting for just the weekend? I was away for a week on vacation to Alaska and took a cruise from Anchorage to Vancover. Out of Computer range. No Cell phone except for ports. It was wonderful. I will post some great pics in the pic section over the next few days of the wonderful Glaciers and scenery we saw. So I would not worry about some member being out of reach for few days during the summer. Most of us take our vacation during that time and not everyone is in touch with a computer during that time.

Still looking for word from Redwood.

Hope he's all right.

God bless you, Redwood.

I'm probably gonna get into trouble saying this, and will look pretty foolish other wise, but...


the reason that Redwood is not responding here, jeannie is because of those poppy plants he's growing...turns out that they are the real thing and the cyber police were monitering Clubadventist for subversive activities. They raided Redwood's home and he's now raising money for bail.

Redwood, where ever you are, I am more than willing to send you money to get you home where you belong....I know that what you did was innocent.....We can convince the cyberpolice that it was all a mistake...Just let us know where you are at....

The thing is if something happens to one of us, how would the rest know? I told my wife that if something happens to me to log in here and let the rest of you know.

I don't know Redwood's age, health or anything. He could have gotten in an accident and be in a hospital room somewhere. Or maybe he is on vacation...

I believe Redwood got into a scuffle with a moderator and is on a short Sabbatical..

That is just it, on the one hand this is every bit a community, but then when *something* does happen and someone stops posting for a while then that feeling that we are so very far apart sinks in.

Even though I don't post every day, I come here every day--sometimes more than once a day. And once you get to know the pattern people tend to make, well when they stop abruptly then something's up.

Well, that does sound like him. I hope it is a very short one, and he will be back soon.

Not to contradict you, Stan, but I have heard that the man we all know as "Redwood" has been pursued by the internet cyber police and is wanted for growing resin containing poppys that can be made into hard drugs. [I know, I know...we all thought the 'internet cyber police' were a myth, but apparently they are out there, as part of homeland security.]

Last rumor heard, he was heading out of california and was trying to get out of the country. destination is unsure.... Not too many know. Relatives don't care. Fortunately, the church that he was attending doesn't know he is on the lamb...A cover story was made...something about a rushed vacation....and to middle eastern part of the US was where he was going...He had said that he wanted to meet with Obama..and discuss biness concerns and laud his policys as he understood these
th ings.

Of course, these are just rumors, but as most of us are aware, these rumors have some basis in fact...true or otherwise...I will keep the watch for the Redwood Rumor Reports and report to you, the ClubAdventist readers the lastest of these rancid rumors....

Reporting live from clubAdventist....

By the way there used to be a guy named Dave on here all the time. Whatever happened to him? mel

Redwood...I know you can read this....so....

Tell you what...just do as I do....Instead of getting all hot and bothered (and I have done that a lot) just keep giving those "traditional SDA" law, law and more law. Make it hard on 'em...in fact make it impossible for them. In other words, do as God did...give 'em the old covenant and maybe they'll realize grace ain't so bad after all...
Rob

The continuing saga of Redwood

As we left our protagonist, he was leaving his home to avoid the evil homeland security cyber police, who were coming after him for innocently growing poppy flowers from Afghanistan that were growing in his newly aquired home.

Said Redwood's wife, Blanch- We have to get rid of these poppy flowers. They will attract the manufacturer of drugys and that will ruin our reputations as good loyal republicans and seventh day adventists. Where are you going, Redwood?
[b]Redwood[/b]- I think I can go to San Franscisco and get rid of these evil flowers."
Blanch- Oh, I hope so. We don't need anyone around here poking around and asking for drugs. What will the church members say???
Redwood- Look, Blanch, we're gonna have to ...lie...If anyone asks, tell them I just went to talk to Obama about some business dealings.
Blanch - But Redwood, dear. I can't lie. I'm a pastor, a representative of the Adventist church. If I get caught lying, I'll never get another job.

Redwood-Looking sternly at Blanch- Blanch, I am going to see Obama about how he will deal with business. It's going to be a political question. Now you can tell everyone that is what I said.
Blanch- Oh, I can do that now. No problem.

How will Redwood sneak away from the cyber police? Well he be able to get away from those Tommy Lee Jones type police? What will be his reaction if he get's caught?
"I tell you, they were just growing in my yard!"

Join us next time when Blanch tells a church member-
"Oh, he said he was going to see that Obama man about some business concerning our poppy flowers.I think Redwood's gonna sell him some."

In our last saga, our fearful protagonist, Redwood was leaving home and heart and reportedly going to San Francisco. On the ruse of seeing Obama and asking political questions, Redwood has avoided the embarrassing questions that the evil virtual cyber police desire to ask.

In running away from said cyber police, Redwood is hitchhiking to San Francisco. On the way, he passes thru Marin County to stop at the Lucas Ranch.

Redwood to audiance- I always wanted to be in the movies, but figured I didn't have the good looks that I needed.

George Lucas [upon hearing Redwood talk to himself] well, we can alter some of those offending physical traits.

Redwood-Well, all I need now is a balding head. and a white gown

George Lucas- We can provide that in one of two ways. Either in CG,[aka Computer Graphics] or by make up artist.
Redwood-Well, let's do the makeup artist thingy.

As we leave our protagonist, we see him in a white gown, with a bald head, at the San Francisco International Airport handing out poppy flower to all willing to accept them...

Hippy male upon recieving a poppy flower - Coooool, dude.


Join us next time as we hear Blanch say-

Oh where oh where can my Redwood man be? Oh where oh where can he beeeeeeeeee?

Neil....what an imagination you have! :)

Oh, Denise.....We ain't done yet.....

Just how long IS a sabbatical, anyway?

I think there are just a few days left.. Redwood is loved by many...

Thank goodness....and yes, he is.

[organ drama music]

As we come to our entrepid protagonist, we see him driving in his car, taking off his make-up to look like a bald moonie.

As he drives on I-405 toward his home, he glances in the mirror to see red/blue lights blinking...

Redwood- Oh veggie horse patties! What do they want NOW????

Officer- [coming up with mirror sunglasses] Sir, I noticed that you have a taillight out. I have to write you up for a broken tail light.

Redwood- Sure, Officer. I got that at the San Franscisco International Airport.

Officer- and how did that happen sir?

Redwood [quickly running thru several scenerios]- er, uh, I don't know officer.

Officer- Sir, I notice that you are dressed in a white gown. Are you affliated with the local Klu Klux Klan?

Redwood- Really?? Oh, didn't know that they were still alive and thriving.

Officer- What about the local moonies, sir? Are you affliated with the local moonies?

Redwood- Well, no...

Officer- Did you know that it was crimminally wrong to impersonate a moonie or a KKK member in full dress up gear?

Redwood- {sensing danger} Uh, nooo....

Officer- Sir, I am going to have to ask you to step out of your car. Yes,sir, that's right...please move to the back of your vehicle...where my camera is....

Redwood- Uh, what's this about, officer?

Officer- Uh, nothing sir. Just wanted everyone at home to see you, Mr. Redwood sir.

Redwood- "Everyone at home?" What are you talking about officer.

Officer- Your wife filed a missing persons report. And we are filming you and sending it to your home computer. Apparently some people from one of your church division...I think they are from some club, were worried about you. They also filed a missing person's report. We are now video taping you, in your "church clothes", to your friends and family that miss you to show that you are alive and well.

Redwood- oh,...

Olger {from PA system in the Officer's car] Nice get up Redwood. Where did you get the threads, man?

As we leave our protangonist, we hear him say-

Redwood- Why me????

Yeah...Redwood is only one here that's got my back (he says while pulling the daggers out).

As we see our friendly protagonist getting the customary pat-down by the state patrol and experiencing a great big dose of humility, padamonium is breaking out over the Town Forum as news of Redwood's being lost and now found is spread about...

Jeannie: Hey, guys...let's throw an internet party for Redwood!

Olger: Oh, you mean like a virtual party???

Stan: That can be arranged. We can make a forum, like maybe a big hall, to hold the party...

Neil: You mean like a "Town Hall" Stan?

Stan: Yeah, that's it...

Amelia: We have one of those, Boss...

Stan: We do?

Amelia: yeah. It's called "Townhall"...

Stan: But we can create a forum within Townhall and call it "Redwood's return"...right? Only let's make it LIVE!

Jeannie: That sounds cool.

Bravus: Oyi..It sounds like this could be a multi-national event!

Amelia: Boss, we have one of those as well...

Stan: We do??? Where?

Amelia: It's called "The shout Box", Boss....

Stan: Oooh....But it will be Cuil, right?

Neil, Amelia, Jeannie: Right!!! That's it. Cool!

Shane: Hey, I want to be a part of this too....

As we leave the clubAdventist members to plot thier friend's party, we find that Redwood is getting the customary pat-down by the police dog....licking the make-up off Redwoods face...

Redwood: Oh, this is SSSOOOOO embarrassing.....

Uh oh.... is the police dog going to sniff poppy residue??? Is the police dog going to alert that there are drugs in the area??? Is poppy residue one of those drugs that alerts police-type dogs??

Maybe it's puppy residue not poppies?

eeww...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...................[Neil muses this over to see if there is anyway he can fit it into the next scenerio]

I really am enjoying this story, with the characters in there! I am just sitting behind the scenes enjoying this! :)

Don't sit too comfortably.... Muhahhahahahahha!!!!!!!! [he says with an evil laugh...]

Seriously, i am worried. Where is he? Is he okay?

Yes, he's OK, Truthseeker. He'll rejoin us in about about 10 days.

Pray for him as I am sure he's praying for you. Thank you!

TEN MORE DAYS!?!?!?!?

(sigh) I miss him.......




Neil, we need another installment to the story....

[On Cue: "Curiousity Music from "Dragnet"]

This ...is the freeway- California Interstate 405

On Saturday, August 2, 2008, a clubAdventist member was pulled over for a broken tail light by a CHP k-9 unit. Upon investigation of the vehicle and it's occupant, the officer found a man, dressed in a moonie [or KKK] white gown with partial make up . The K-9 unit administer make-up removal [free of charge]. Subsequent investigation showed a couple of 'missing persons' reports filed by his wife and by the members of said clubAdventist and a report by the HomeLand Security as "a Person of interest".

My name is Sargent Friday. This is my partner, Wednesday.

[Major cue in music from "Dragnet", major theme- Dunt da daaa Dunt da da daaa..]

Friday: We were called in to investigate the charges of the 'impersonating a KKK or Moonie" when we interviewed The Perp.

Wednesday: Do you always dress this way, Mr. Redwood?

Redwood: Honest, guys..I just wanted to get rid of some flowers and uh, thought I could spread some uh, happiness. [last part said with a cringe in voice]

Friday: Why are you wanting to spread 'happiness', Mr. Redwood?

Redwood: Uh, uh,..um...there's a lot of UN-happiness in the world???

Wednesday : Seems a bit fishy to me.

Friday: Me too. What's the deal with your friends and family filing this "missing person's report" on you, Mr. Redwood?

Redwood: I'm a well liked and well loved individual, sirs. Um, Can I go now?

Friday and Wednesday together: NO!
Wednesday: You have to go thru Homeland Security interrogation maze.....Ha! You will be lucky to get out in 10 days at best!


[Cut to members of Club Adventist]: 10 DAYS!!!!!!!!!

Dennise: Why that's terrible! Redwood won't be able to play with any kittys...That's outright criminal behavior on our goverment's part.

Olger: Aaahh, it'll be ok....He'll survive...

John317: I don't know about that for sure. It might be that not being able to pet a kitty or an adult cat could be hazardous to one's health....especially for 10 full days!!!
That certainly ranks as torture, in MY HUMBLE opinion.

Shane: I don't see a conspiracy here...

Nan: I think that there is a study out in one of the medical journals that state that Cats, well kittens, are a comforting feature in daily life and that one need to pet one on a yearly basis.

Bravus: but if you rank it by medals per head of population, Australia is miles ahead! Uh, what a minute...I think this is the wrong thread. Oyi, Did I miss speak? My Bad....

Aldona: Well, I think I read that same article....

Olger: What about lizards? Or alligators...?

Nan and Aldona: No, no...lizards and/or alligators are not comforting...

Liz: [heavy sigh] 10 more days.....

Olger reminds Neil that we ain't got no CHiPs in Ohio. Then olger signs off.

Of course i ll pray for Redwood. I am so glad there are at least a few people i can share my faith with. Christ is everything to me, number one. I hate sin but i have learned something. An African cannot change his own skin colour. I cannot change my own fallen nature. For years i have listened to voices telling me i don t deserve it to be saved, i have sinned to much etc. Those voices are right, naturally i am a killer, rapist, liar, power-loving and selfish. But i am not ashamed for it anymore. It was never my choice to be born sinfully. So i ll admit, yes i am a rapist, murderer, money-loving selfish bastard. I hate that part inside of me, but i have found God. He will overshadow my sinfull nature in this life, he will help me with everything. Very, very soon i am going to get baptised. I know somebody who went through the same things like me, i want to do something for the Lord, but i cannot do this on my own. I want to rewrite human history from the days of Adam and Eve, till present and future. Using only the best scientific sources of Archeology, zoology, international political movements, factual info about secret societies etc. I want to lay bare the sins of Babylon as totally as possible. Please pray i will succeed. I cannot do this on my own, only God can work through me and achieve such a tremendous task. The glory is all for God. I want to go home. I am so sick of this life and this world. I want to sleep at the feet of our Lord Jesus Christ, walk with him for ever and ever...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyGP6q_ZacA

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyGP6q_ZacA

I can relate to what you say, Truthseeker...there is just one problem.....and I dont want to tell you what it is....

The reason is that once I do tell you, you will be sorely offended...So, I will give you a hint as to the problem and let you take credit for finding it out.

The hint is in your own post. It is a word that is pretty much the subject of your post. It obscures the object of your post, which I am not sure if it is Redwood [who seems to vanish after the 3rd sentence] or Jesus [which you are pointedly saying that you want to do something for him. And I will emphazise most emphatically, unless you do something about the subjet of your post, you will NEVER achieve your goals....But, if you do find the problem, and deal with it, the rewards are truely out of this world, and even better than winning the Lottery for God.

So what do you eat with your SaLsA?

Ohio is such a lawless country anyways...it's no wonder the salsa is lonely....looking for a food item...

My question is why is lawlessness in Ohio have to do with Redwood being in California?

Neil please speak out. Is it about my addictions? Don t worry about hurting me, since i am already broken it won t effect me. All my life i have other people telling me i am a loser, got no friends, am stupid etc. Just tell me what it is, i won t get mad and i won t feel offended. You are suggesting i should change something? i know i have to change things but i cannot do this myself, only through the power of the holy spirit, i ll be able to overcome.

I love the ignore feature.



Hey, Neil are we going to get any more story? You are such a good story teller; I keep checking back to see if what the next chapter is.

"I love the ignore feature"

Wow we got a lot in common?did you know that?
I like that feature too. What else do you like?drinking a nice cup of tea in front of a campfire? You want me to come over talking about smilies and ignore features? you are so so interesting to me, did you know that?

So, that's the reason why the ratio of posters to viewers is so high? You realise that you ARE causing this to be one of the most looked at threads with the fewest replies???

42 : 900

Ok, let's see what I can do in the creative writing department...First off, got to check the rumor mill....can't write a credible story without a good fact to exploit...

And Liz, [et al who are listening] a writer will always respond to his audience...so the more responses, the more a writer writes.........I think. At least, until he becomes unbearable in his writing....

As we return to our entrepid protangonist, we observe the following-

Redwood is stumbling out the door of a building marked "Homeland Security: Internet division" and down some steps onto the streets below....As he picks himself up, and dusts himself, he mutters....

"Stupid Cyber police....."
........and then sees several people of various rank and privilege starring at him....

"Well, what are you guys looking at??", he says...

Soon a rather pitiful individual in a torn overcoat and long ragged beard comes up to Redwood. "I told them, 'I am not a crook!' but it didn't do me any good either. They tossed me out on my ear and now look where I am...". Redwood looks at the man very carefully, and says, "You can't be alive. The country mourned your passing."

Oh, you think so.

Redwood: I know so.

Well, I am talking to you. and standing here before you...touch me and see...I am alive. And I am not a crook!

Redwood reaches out and touches the hem of the ragged coat.
Redwood: But...but...you're dead.

That is what they want you to think...but I am still alive....and I am still not a crook...

Redwood: Richard Nixon?!?!?!!?

Nixon: That's my name...don't wear it out...although, I dare say that it is now pretty much forgotten...

Redwood: And associated with various illegal activities..

Nixon: I AM NOT A CROOK!

Redwood: Yeah, yeah, you made that abundantly clear, both when you were alive and apparently now. How do you know about these guys?

Nixon: who do you think brought me to my current predictament? Oh, I was kept in prison for 6 years and then un-ceremoniously released, just as you were, into the street. When I tried to tell others who I was, they just laughed at me...I was 'dead'...And my family never really cared.

Redwood: Really? Well, if this is true, would you concider coming to my house? I think I can start a home for the political homeless...

Another man comes up with a southern Georgia accent: Would you concider letting us in too?

Redwood: Jimmy Carter???!!!!

Jimmy: I may not be as famous as this guy, but I am or was in politics....

Redwood: Uh, well, sure...we can start the "homeless politikcos ".

Others: And me? What about me? Can I come too?

Redwood: Ronnie? well, sure Gipper. Newt? and, holy Cow! It's Bill Clinton.

Bill: yeah, my wife finally tossed me out, and after an arguement one night. I was joking after she got a stain on her dress.

Redwood: Wow...all these famous politicals coming together to my house...to live out thier days....Wait a minute...You guys aint dead...

Ronnie: Well, they say that some of us aren't dead.

Redwood: Yeah, but but...but this is soo confusing...so confusing....so confusing [Redwood swoons and starts to come to]

Redwood:[weakly] This is so confusing....Huh, where am I? What happened?

Voice, faguely familiar says: don't worry Redwood, you won't feel a thing... Just go back to sleep.....

Who is this mysterious person? What connection do the dreams have with what is happening to Redwood...What does it all mean?

Join us next week as Stan, the Man, says,...................
well, forget what Stan, the Man says..Just join us next week.

Olger admits that he has a weakness for chips & salsa, then excuses himself to the kitchen...

He further notes that there is a distinction between cilantro and motorcycle cops.

Did he go back there?