I'm waiting, impatiently, for the next installment....!

Come on, Neill. I have just found this thread -- have read it all -- this far. Have wondered at your ability to keep writing -- but there are still some days before Redwood appears to tell you what he thinks of you -- so!! Just keep writing!! We are waiting!

[Cue in Twighlight Zone music]

You unlock this door with the key of imagination.Beyond it, is another dimension, a dimenson of sound ; a dimension of sight ; a dimension of mind. You are moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. And you've just crossed over into ...the Twightlight Zone....


Redwood: Boy, these last couple of days have been the hardest for me....not being on the board...and being bored...Well, at least I have my garden to tend to....And there is some time to nap in the hammock from time to time.

Blanch: Redwood! Don't forget to water the roses, dear...And you need to take care of those aphids on them as well....

Redwood: [muttering to self] Redwood this! Redwood that!Dont forget this and don't forget that. Help with this project at church, and help with the church school and help with the chruch budget and help help help...Boy, I would like to help her alright...Right up into..

Blanch: Redwood, there's some hoeing that needs to be done around those roses... Would you PLEASE do that today, as I don't want the dorcus committee to miss out on those fabulose roses...

Redwood: Yes, Dear. Ok, Dear..[As he starts hoeing, he hits a metal container] Hey, would you look at that..It's a toy teapot....made of metal too....a little cleaning and the grandkids would like it for thier playhouse, I'd bet.
[as redwood begins to shine up the pot, it begins to smoke] Hmmmmmm...didn't think that I would be doing that good of a smokin job. [smoke pours out of the kettle and alights at his feet. It's a small genie......{You were expecting Barbara Eden?}]

Genie: Uh, yeah, hey there, uh, master. I can give you three wishes...but the last two don't count.

Redwood: What?!!?!? I thought that there were suppposed to be 3 wishes granted.

Genie: There are, but you dinged up my home pretty good with your hoeing...and I don' t feel so charitable.

Redwood: HEy, don't knock quality work.

Genie: This is quality work?????

Redwood: Hmmmmm....wish I coulda gotten a different genie, instead I got one who thinks he's a comic.

Genie: Your wish is my .....

Redwood: Hold it! Not so fast genie. Commentary is not necessarily part of the wishing game....So hold those cotton picking horses....

Genie: I know of horses that will pick cotten. I can bring them to you. All you have to say is the word and we go and fetch them.

Redwood: Kewl! I can have cotton picking horses...but what would I do with them.

Genie: they pick cotton. What else would they be doing? That is why we call them "cotton pickin'" horses...

Redwood: I don't have Robbin Williams...Instead, I have Rodney Dangerfield.

Genie: who is that???

Redwood: and a curious one.

Genie: look, you want money, fame or glory?
Redwood: Don't want glory without money. Fame without glory is pretty lame too.

Genie: "Fame and Glory"..It's on sale right now for only one wish. But I dont recommend it. It carrys a martyer of a price tag, if you get my meaning....

Redwood: I think I do..

Genie: So, it looks like all the others are out, except money. So, here you are...I have made it for you to obtain lots of money.

Redwood: Wait! I didn't give my wish yet.

Genie: Look, you dont want fame, nor glory...Money is the only thing left. So you got that...

redwood: What about the ease of life and all the women?

Genie, Looking at Blanch: Do you REALLY want me to bring out the dancing girls? Cuz, I am gonna have to supply her with knife weilding strong men....

Redwood: Ok, ok,...money it is..can't be too bad.

Genie: Ok, I have enabled you to make lots of money, but it will be thru some possessions that you have. You must, thru hard work, extract the precious substance, and mine it, and then sell it on the open market where upon you will make lots and lots of money thru some form of natural means... and i am GoNE! [and with that, poof!, he was gone.]

Blanch: Redwood, dear...what ever are we going to do with these poppy flowers. they seem to poliferate all over the place...and that sticky white milky stuff....it gets all over everything....

redwood: "white, milky sticky" stuff??? Ooooooooh noooooooooooooooo!


[Cue Twighlight zone music]

Back at the ClubAdventist clubhouse [?????!!!!!!What clubhouse????], Liz and Jeannie are putting the finishing touches on various bowls of popcorn with spices. Beryl comes in with a quart of lemonade with crushed strawberrys in the bottom of the half-gallon jar.

Stan and Bravus are setting up front, center, and rear speakers to a 52" flat screen TV. Shane is adjusting the dish to get the best reception for the Hope Satallight Network. Cyberguy is checking the feed and making sure that it is getting to the TV ok.

Amelia and Lynndell along with Nan, and Gail and Adolna, Fifequeen and Suzanne Sutton are energetically talking .

Lynndell: It's amazing..To think that WE KNOW someone who made it big...

Amelia: Only it's not just ONE someone...it's TWO someones...

Nan: I admit...it is amazing. I wonder how Neil got Hope TV to sell the stories of Redwood.

Gail: I heard that the network executives thought it so good, that they immediately went into syndication and it was an instanteous hit.

John317 comes by and says: Well, it does help to be well placed ...

Gail: STan is such a nice guy and he does know the stars....


Amelia: Anyone know how Redwood became a big star?

John317: Well, he's the subject of Neil's writings and got a bit of money off it..

Lyndell: Wow! It was nice of the guys to get ClubAdventist a place to gather everyone.

Gail: And when you got an archectect [looking over at Shane] to draw it up....

Nan: and a small committee to envision what they want [nodding at Bravus, Cyberguy, Sid, Joel] anything can became possible.

Amelia: And the members contributed enough moneys to get this big screen TV and surround sound. It's kind of a miracle that that happened.


Stan: Ok, folks, we have everything in place and the program is about to start.

Planey: I got to get my gingerbeer and a good seat.

Everyone settles down to watch the program. After an hour, the group is speechless...They are awed by the program....finally, Planey says: Well, I got to admit. it's a wonderful program.

Amelia: Yup. pretty good.

Lynndell: Nice casting...

Nan: Over all, it was a nice program...

D. Allen: Well, overall, I have to say the program is fair. It has one commonality that runs thru the whole theme of the program. And that one commonality is

Amelia, Nan, Lynndell, John317, Planey, and Stan: It's lame!


Join us next week when we hear Planey say-

They're making HOW much??????

[Cue in the twightlight zone music]

Narrator: The door before you is a specific journey.

[Olger bellows out: Like that Narnia door those kids when thru!]

Narrator: Yes, just like the Narnian door. Enter a specific individual named Redwood. He has a wife, a couple of children, a nice house. An all american conservative family. And he has one problem....poppies....not just any poppies, but poppies that have a milky white juice. and he has LOTS of poppies.

[cue the sirens,...police cars....cyber police....{cyber police?????]...reporters....]

Police officer: You with the milky white poppies...hands up!

Redwood [dropping an armful of poppies]; don't shoot. I am a peaceful man.

Blanche: Redwood, what are the police doing here? Why am I being handcuffed? Redwoooooood!!!!

Redwood: Don't worry, Blanche. It will be ok. I'll get us out of this...[To police officer as he is being handcuffed, and rather stiffly] I have connections.

Police officer: yeah, yeah, yeah.. Tell it to the sargent down town.

As Redwood is unceremonously placed into the police car, he sees not one, but several investegators going thru his property and looking at the poppies...

[cut to busy court room, several days later. It's a noisy place, with lots of clerks with papers moving about.]

Judge: How do you plead?

Redwood: what are the charges?

Judge: Apparently, defendant is accused of the manufacture of herion, derived from the poppy plant from a milky white substance.

Redwood: Did you see any thing to suggest the manufacture of herion, like a lab with jars?

Judge: we'll get into the specifics later. How do you plead?

Genie, dressed as a lawyer: He pleads 'not guilty', your honor.

Redwood; what??!! How did..? What are you doing..? What is this..? Nice threads, man!

Judge: Conselor, are you confiring with your client? If so, please plan your defense on your time, not on mine.

Genie: Yes, your honor.

Judge: Okay, today is August 29. Court date is set on September 11, 2008. Any problems with that?

Genie: No, your honor...

Redwood: No, your highness.

Judge: Are you mocking me, Mr. Redwood?

Redwood [hastily]: No, your im-potentate-ness, sir.

Genie: Better let me do the talking.

Redwood: No, I seem to have this.

Judge: MR. REDWOOD, THIS COURT WILL NOT TOLERATE RUDENESS OF ANY SORT.

Redwood: I wasn't trying to be rude, your sovereign.

Judge: MR. REDWOOD,I AM A JUDGE AND WILL BE ADDRESSED IN SUCH A MANNOR THAT BEFITS A JUDGE AND NOT A KING. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, MR REDWOOD?

Redwood: Crystal, your honor-ness sire.

Genie: Your Honor, my client suffers from panick attacks and clearly can not communicate well. I will be representing him from here on out, if it pleases the court.

Judge: It certainaly does please this court. We will see you on September 11, gentlemen. And conselor, I don't want to hear anything from this man's mouth untill then.

Genie: not even "Not guilty", your honor?

Judge: If that is your client's plea, I will take it, and you can take him out of here.

Genie: It is, your honor.

Judge: It is done. Good bye, gentlemen...


Join us next time when we hear Blanche say: to a guard:

What are you doing, big boy?


For Redwood , and thanks for the suggestions. Hope I got all of them in.

I used to like the Twilight Zone.

This is in a whole nother dimension, though...but interesting.

Is this interesting because you know the people and the scenerio is made up or is it because you don't know where the story is going or is it because it is using various familiar story lines...or ???

It's interesting to me because I see on the calendar that September first is coming up. (At least, I thought that's when we'd hear from Redwood again!)

OOOOOOoooh, one more day to find a very embarrassing story on Redwood....Let's see...[cackling as he walk into the writing Lab-bor-it-tory rubbing his hands..]

Neil,

You are so "bad"!! !

I am enjoying your continuing saga here!!! Hopefully RW will be back soon to defend himself......

MG