Creation vs. Evolution Debate

A Play for Puppets
Copyright © 2007 by Aliensanctuary

Evolution is dead. It died many years ago. Dr.Hayden Jayden

If you believe in Creation, you'll believe in anything. Dr. Carl Pagan

Narrator:
“Good evening. I’m Dan Blather, your moderator for this evenings debate. Tonight’s debate brings several diverse parties together to discuss the pro’s and con’s of the several different theories about the origin of life. Did life create itself, or, did an extraterrestrial intelligence create it with some purpose in mind?

Joining our discussion tonight are Dr. Ken Spam, prominent creation lecturer and founder of Magic in Genesis;

Dr. Carl Pagan, theoretical astronomer and staunch defender of evolution and believer in the extraterrestrial origins of life on a molecular scale;

Dr. Hayden Jayden, author of Alien Technology in the Bible; Mr. Chuck Darwin, great-great grandson of Charles Darwin;

and Dr. Alfred Einstein, great-great grandson of theoretical physicist and mathematician and discoverer of Relativity, Albert Einstein.

Also included in the panel are Lucy Loo, a child prodigy and practicing attorney with a degree in biochemistry, and several guests from the audience. None of these studio guests have any particular qualifications, but were chosen at random from the audience to join our panel.

Dr. Pagan, you won the toss, so can you please begin? Please remember the rules for this debate: no personal insults or name calling, no interruptions, no violence. If the baloney detector starts beeping, you are required to put on a silly costume in order to deflate your possibly bloated egos.

Dr. Pagan [baboon puppet]:
Thank you. For the record, evolution is not a theory, but a proven fact, …[baloney detector starts honking] [Dr. Pagan starts shouting over the loud noise]PROVEN BY MANY SCIENTISTS AND IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE GATHERED THROUGH CAREFUL RESEARCH! ALTHOUGH NONE OF THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL HAVE ANY QUALIFICATIONS WHATSOEVER TO ENABLE THEM TO DISCUSS EVOLUTION INTELLIGENTLY, I WILL SHOW THE CREATIONISTS THAT THEIR RELIGIOUS MYTHOLOGIES HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGIN OF LIFE ON EARTH!

Moderator:
OK Dr. Pagan. You know the rules. You’ll have to put on a funny costume because the baloney detector says you’re full of baloney.

Dr. Pagan:
[disappears, then reappears, dressed as a fairy]
This is ridiculous! I am a famous scientist, not a fairy princess with a magic wand! It’s all HIS fault [pointing to Dr. Spam]. He must have tampered with the baloney detector! Hmmmm. Wait a minute. I’ve always wanted one of these magic wands. Now I can make anything happen with just a few words and a wave of my magic wand…

Dr. Spam:
Excuse me, Dr. Pagan. I believe our discussion tonight is not about religion, but about origins. There is a difference. There is geological evidence we can examine and then make conclusions. We both have the same evidence. We must match the unchangeable evidence to our theories. We have different world views, and this is what causes us to see this evidence in different ways.

Dr. Pagan:
Whatever.

Moderator:
So Dr. Pagan, can you explain to us how life first began, then evolved to what we see today?

Dr. Pagan:
Ummm. Well, first there was the Big Bang. This is what distributed all of the matter we see today.

Moderator:
Where did this matter come from?

Dr. Pagan:
Well, once upon a time, in the beginning of the universe, there was nothing, only emptiness. Then this singularity formed. This singularity was a very small point into which all the matter of the universe was compressed [baloney detector triggered]. Will someone PLEASE turn that thing off so I can say something without being interrupted!

Moderator:
I’m sorry, Dr. Pagan. It was set at the factory and is tamper-proof. We can turn the volume down for you. So, at first, all of the matter in the entire universe was all clumped together in a tiny little dot?

Dr. Pagan:
Yes. Very tiny. Then this singularity rapidly expanded in just a few nanoseconds filling the entire universe with matter. After a long time, perhaps billions and billions of years, instabilities caused this sparsely distributed matter to condense into the stars and planets and galaxies that we see today. After the earth condensed and became a planet with liquid water, life arose by electrical stimulation of primordial seas awash in organic chemicals in a hydrogen-rich, oxygen-free atmosphere.

Moderator:
Dr. Spam, what is your view on the origin of the earth?

Dr. Spam:
The Bible teaches us that on the First Day God spoke the word, and the whole universe was instantly created, including light and all of the angels. [baloney detector starts blaring] NOW WHY IS THAT THING GOING OFF? EVERYONE KNOWS GOD USED MAGIC WORDS TO CREATE THE UNIVERSE AND LIFE! ALL WE HAVE TO DO NOW IS CONFESS OUR SINS AND BELIEVE AND WE WILL BE SAVED. ARE YOU SAVED, DR. PAGAN?

Moderator:
I’m sorry, Dr. Spam. You know the rules. The baloney detector doesn’t lie. This isn’t a Sunday school class, either.

Dr. Spam: [reappears wearing a pink poodle costume]
A poodle! I hate poodles. My wife has a poodle. It’s nothing but a horrible mutation. It’s stinky, it slobbers, it sniffs smelly places, it potties on the carpet. This is more than I can bear!

Dr. Pagan:
Dr. Spam, just buck up and take your medicine. You’ll get over it.

Dr. Spam:
As I was trying to say, the universe and earth were magically created in six days. Not millions or billions of years. It’s all just about six thousand years old. If you believe in evolution, you’ll believe in anything.

Dr. Pagan:
[Dr. Spam’s poodle head starts sniffing Dr. Pagan]
Dr. Spam, will you please control yourself?

Dr. Spam:
I’m sorry. This mutant poodle has a mind of its own. I never could get poodles to do what I tell them. But that reminds me of a point I’d like to make: that everything is winding down, like a mechanical clock that is slowly losing its energy. That’s why we see diseases on the increase, because life is degenerating after a perfect start six thousand years ago. It’s the mutations that are causing all the havoc.

Dr Pagan:
On the contrary. If you believe in a Magic God and Magic Words, you’ll believe in anything. It’s the mutations that gave rise to all of the life we see today. The first cell reproduced itself, then it became many cells, then it became a plant or a body with a brain and sensory organs, then it grew arms and legs or fins and tails, until…[baloney detector muffled beeping]

Dr. Spam:
So how and when did these creatures differentiate into male and female?

Dr. Pagan:
We don’t know exactly how or when, but as you can see today, they did.

Moderator:
So what I hear you saying, Dr. Pagan, is that evolution must invoke magic also.

Dr. Spam:
Similarly, there are no known processes that can increase genetic information in order to turn a light-sensitive spot into a fully developed eye or an arm to turn into a wing or a flipper or vice versa. Life we see today can and does adapt to changing conditions due to the genetic information it already possesses. For a living creature to create new genetic information because its environment changes is several orders of magnitude beyond experimental reality and into the realm of fairy tales and magic.

Dr. Pagan:
Whatever. Unlike the rest of you, I am a highly educated scientist. All highly educated scientists know that evolution is true, and don’t have to prove it to morons like you.[baloney detector]

Moderator:
Dr. Pagan, you’re being rude, so you’re going to have to change into a different costume.

Dr. Pagan:
Anything’s better than a fairy princess.
[changes into a donkey costume]
Not a donkey of all things! Everybody is so mean to me! Hee Haw. Hee Haw.

Moderator:
Let’s go to one of our guests from the audience for a moment while Dr. Pagan adjusts to his new role. What is your name, madam?

Guest:
Mah name is Maybelle Kraakhead. That’s K-R-A-A-K-H-E-A-D. All I have to say is AMEN, HALLELUJAH, PRAISE BE TO THE TRINITEE. It’s just a bubblin outta me, and I cain’t hep but speak it. HALLELUJAH, PRAISE BE TO THE POWERS ABOVE. HALLELUJAH, PRAISE BE TO THE HIGHER POWERS . PRAISE BEE. PRAISE BEE. PRAISE BEE…[baloney detector beeps, she starts babbling in tongues]

Moderator:
Oh, Ms. Kraakhead. The baloney detector says you’re full of baloney. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to change into a costume, now.

Ms. Kraakhead:
[returns in a bee costume] GLORY, GLORY, GLORY BEE. PRAISE BEE. PRAISE BEE. PRAISE BEE TO THE HIGHER POWERS. I’M A BEE. I’M A BEE. GLORY BEE. LET IT BEE. TO BEE OR NOT TO BEE.

Moderator:
Ms. Kraakhead, if you don’t quiet down, you’ll have to buzz off.

Ms. Kraahead:
BEE-NANNER. BEE-APPLE. BEE-QUIET. BZZZZZZ.

Moderator:
OK, Mrs. Kraakhead, it all over for you. We have some duct tape to quiet you down, and then you can return to the studio audience.

Moving along to our next panel member. What is your name, sir?

Dr. Jayden:
My name is Dr. Hayden Jayden. I have a Doctorate of Alien Technology in the Bible. I have studied the Bible carefully on my own, looking for clues that reveal highly advanced alien technology, and there are many.

Moderator:
Well, Dr. Jayden, we have a copy of your book right here with us, Alien Technology in the Bible. The cover shows a rather large flying mountain or pyramid supported by a huge pillar of fire and smoke. What are your ideas about the origin of life on earth?

Dr. Jayden:
I believe that a highly advanced extraterrestrial civilization arrived at our planet many thousands of years ago and modified it to enable it to support life. They didn’t use magic words or fairy wands to accomplish their tasks, but instead used technology our primitive minds would call miracles. Their leader, whom we call God, gave the orders for specific tasks to be accomplished during a relatively short seven-day period. His servants, the Malawk, the Hebrew word for angels or messengers, assisted him.

Dr. Spam:
I would like to remind Dr. Jayden that the Bible teaches that there are no such things as space aliens. Earth is the only inhabited planet in the whole universe. [baloney detector]

Moderator:
Dr. Spam, now it’s your turn to change into a more appropriate costume.

Dr. Spam:
Good. I’ll always hate those nasty, smelly, yappy little genetic mistakes called poodles.
Well, blow my socks off and look at me now. I’m a space alien with four arms. I hope my friends in Australia aren’t watching this program. They’ll never let me preach another sermon there again.

Dr. Pagan:
Don’t be too surprised if they are watching, Dr. Spam.

Moderator:
OK, back to Dr. Jayden. Tell us some more about your theory.

Dr. Jayden:
As I was saying, the Bible actually teaches that the earth was modified and colonized with life by highly advanced extraterrestrials who possessed technology far beyond the comprehension of the writers of the Bible. On the first day of creation, the earth was already in existence.

Dr. Pagan:
Excuse me, but this isn’t a Bible study. Where’s the science?

Dr. Jayden:
May I remind the learned Doctor that statistically, it’s impossible for life to have created itself. For just one single living cell of life there thousands of interdependent chemicals and structures that would have to come together in an instant within a membrane before it could function.

Following that, it must have a program to replicate itself. For every program there must be a programmer. Our DNA structures are clearly programs designed to reproduce and generate living things capable of adapting to changing environments.

Dr. Pagan:
You’re forgetting the famous experiment in the 1950’s where an electrical discharge through a simulated primitive earth atmosphere produced amino acids, the building blocks of DNA molecules.

Dr. Spam:
All that experiment produced was a lifeless goo. None of those amino acids could be used to produce DNA. They were all right-handed. Life cannot exist without left-handed amino acids.

Moderator:
Hold that thought. We have another guest waiting to join us at this time. What is your name, young lady?

Lucy:
My name is Dr. Lucy Loo. I have a degree in biochemistry and I’m also an attorney.

Moderator:
How old are you, Dr. Loo?

Lucy:
I’m ten years old.

Moderator:
Well, Dr. Loo. Which side of the table would you like to sit on, the Creationist or the Evolutionist or the Middle of the Road?

Lucy:
[looks over at the evolutionists, a baboon in a donkey costume, a camel, a chimpanzee]
I’m afraid of them. They look scary. I want to sit next to Mr. Stitch, the space alien (Dr. Spam).

Moderator:
OK, Dr. Loo. What do you think of the theories of creation and evolution?

Lucy:
As an attorney, I must first look at the evidence before I can determine if a client is guilty or not, and the same is true for any judge or jury who hope to deliver a fair verdict. We, too, must carefully look at the evidence to determine what is the most reasonable explanation of our origins.

Whether life appeared thousands or millions of years ago is not so important as what are the possibilities of life creating itself, arriving here on a dust mote, or the colonization of our planet either by magical forces of a magical god or by the use of highly advanced technology by visiting extraterrestrials.

Because there is no known biological mechanism that can turn a flipper into a wing into an arm by creating new genetic material, we can assume that it is unlikely that life created itself, then evolved into more and more complex plants and animals.

Likewise, it is highly unlikely that magic words of a magic god created life and the universe instantly out of nothing.

We could not have expected the first electronic computer ever invented to upgrade its own hardware and components, write its own programs and increase its own memory and speed. Neither, by imperfect analogy, can we expect a droplet or puddle of chemicals to assemble itself into a highly complex biological organism and create a program to replicate itself, much less transform its form and functions, then pass its new characteristics on to its descendents, and so on.

If we resort to magic or wild-eyed or desperate attempts by using ridiculous assumptions without proof, we will never arrive at the most accurate conclusions. We can neither accept the magic words of creation-out-of-nothing, nor, the miraculous assumptions of life creating itself and then evolving by itself as valid explanations of our origins.

Although we have no direct evidence of extraterrestrial life, the most reasonable explanation of life here on earth is that it was either brought here or manufactured here on site.

Moderator:
Mr. Einstein, what do you think?

Mr. Einstein:
The universe we know operates on the Law of Cause and Effect. If we see an Effect, we know that something caused it. If we initiate a Cause, we know an Effect will follow, perhaps imperceptibly, perhaps a little later, but always, there will be an Effect.

Science is the attempt to understand Causes and Effects. Once they’re understood, others can perform the same Cause and observe the same Effect. This is Experimental Science. Experiments can be performed to prove whether a Scientific Idea is True or False.

Theoretical Science is the attempt to explain Causes or Effects that are undergoing testing, or can’t be tested at all. Evolution cannot be tested because we cannot travel back in time to observe it, and we cannot demonstrate it in a laboratory experiment. We can look at fossils and see a progression from smaller to bigger, but that alone cannot be used as proof of anything.

Magic Words do not seem to have the power to do much of anything unless they’re used to communicate information for someone else to act upon.

Lucy:
Thank you, Dr. Einstein. If evolution could demonstrate an experiment in which a DNA molecule, the Program of Life, created itself out of a solution of simple chemicals, then reproduced itself and evolved, then evolution would be true. Anyone could reproduce the experiment and achieve the same results. There would be no other alternatives.

In the same way, Magic Creation can’t be tested, because we cannot travel back in time to observe it. If we could obtain absolute proof that it was true, say, by face-to-face public contact with one of God’s representatives from space, then we should discard Evolution as a bad idea.

Moderator:
Mr. Jayden, let’s hear from you.

Dr. Jayden:
I’m in agreement with both Ms. Loo and Mr. Einstein.

By misinterpreting the Ancient Writings, Magic God Believers ignore the Law of Cause and Effect and cast contempt on Religion. They think that Magic God spoke, and it happened, because Magic Words are sufficient to be the Cause.

Understood correctly, God, a powerful extraterrestrial being, ordered the surface of the Earth to be altered to make it suitable for life, then ordered the synthesis of life. God gave the orders, others carried them out.

To our dwarfish Earthminds, this feat of planetary landscaping and creation of life might seem farfetched, but to an ancient, highly advanced alien civilization, it would be child’s play. They’ve done it before…

Lucy:
It requires technology to create life, not spontaneous generation of life from non-life, not miracles. There’s no such thing as “miracles”, only Effects, or science, we cannot explain with our limited understanding of the universe and the forces it contains. It took highly advanced technology to write and assemble the DNA codes into a wide range of living, functioning creatures capable of adapting to changing environmental conditions.

Moderator:
So then, we have two major possibilities on Origins: Life created itself, or, Life was brought here or assembled here by Extraterrestrials who apparently went somewhere else afterwards. It’s not so much the evidence we see, but what we want to believe that makes us either Evolutionist or Creationist. Both require Faith, Faith in what seems Impossible. Neither have hard scientific proof. Neither can be proven experimentally. We just believe.

Dr. Spam:
That’s correct. What we see in geology and the fossil record is colored by what we believe. To some, a few teeth and a jawbone becomes a grunting, stooped-over half-ape, half-human, covered with thick hair…

Dr. Jayden:
Some Evolutionists delight in insulting Creationists and deriding them and their qualifications with mean-spirited invective, when they themselves lack the ability to respond with logical proofs based on hard science. Some Creationists, whose God is some undefined, glowing nebulosity, located somewhere outside of the known universe, respond with religious jargon about sin and repentance and grace.

Mohammed [camel puppet]:
I’m going to speak now for because I’m next. My name is Mohammed Mohammed. I am known also as “Mad Bomber Mohammed”. And do you know why? Because I blow up people, especially unsuspecting women and children in restaurants, weddings, busses, markets, and synagogues. I thank Allah and I pray to him when body parts of infidels and heathens fall back to earth. For me, it’s very good feeling for to serve Allah in small way.

I’m have bomb this very moment. A really BIG one. I set it off right now so I will blow you pagans and God-lovers to hell. Even death is too good for heathens like you. I will find seventy virgins in next life, and when they cry then I will laugh, Ha Ha, too bad for you.

Dr. Pagan:
Evolution is survival of the fittest. Those with bombs are indeed more fit to survive than the unarmed, good-natured, unsuspecting people they blow up.

Mohammed:
You are evil American trash. Tonight I blow up your home with your wife and children. Allah be praised. You trash will be gone. I will be hero. I will have many virgins for my greatest sacrifice.

[Arab has bomb belt. Holds ignition button in hand. Dr. Pagan and Dr. Spam quickly wrestle him down.]

Dr. Pagan:
Even though I have cancer, I still have more work to do. [pulls switch from hand of terrorist]. Give that to me, you bucket of garbage. I have no respect for you or your stupidity. You can’t think of a way to improve the lives of others, so you blow them up. You even murder women and children. I think you morons are the scum of the earth, and I hope that enough of you blow yourselves up so that there won’t be any more of you left to pass on your stupid genes.

Mohammed:
Aaaaaahhhh! Where are my virgins? You have stolen my virgins! My you burn forever in hell, all of you!

Moderator:
We apologize to our panel and the guests in our studio audience for this narrow escape from disaster. Everyone stay calm. The SWAT team and bomb squads are entering the building as we speak. As soon as they remove Mr. Mass Murderer and escort him to jail, we will resume our discussion…

Fine. He’s gone now. We have a new guest to replace Mr. Mass Murderer. Welcome to the debate, ma’am. Would you please introduce yourself.

Tammy Faye:
Mah name is Tammy Faye Faker, and before Ah begin Ah jus wanna ask the audience if they all believe they have a mansion waitin for them up in heaven. Ah see them there hands. Now, I would like ya’ll to pull out yore purses and wallets and dig deep, dig till it hurts, because before we get to that there heavenly mansion we’re gonna build us a glorious mansion right here on earth.

God told me in a dream that as his spokeswoman here on earth, I must live in a house with many, many rooms to entertain visitors in. For only a $1,000 donation, you can have your name inscribed on some of the gold-plated fixtures. So whenever one of my visitors enters the water closet they’ll see yore name engraved in beautiful letters on the gold-plated bathtub or sink or toilet. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for diggin so deep to fulfill mah dream.

Moderator:
So Ms. Tammy Faye, what is your position on Creation vs. Evolution?

Tammy Faye:
Frankly, Mr. Blather, Ah really don’t care so long as Ah have lots of munney to buy me nice stuff lahk God wants me to. It’s a real honner to God if his people have lots of munney and nahs houses and cars and jets. Oh, No. Ah jus remembered, mah jet’s getting old and Ah need a new one. Please everybody, dig down in them pockets once more so you can make this dream come trew…a new jet for Tammy Faye.

Thank ya’ll. Ya’ll are such good people. Ah strongly believe that all televangelists should be wealthy to set a good example for the people. In the next lahf, every one of us is gonna be rich!

Oh, one more thing. Please send sum munny to mah boyfriend, Revrund Jerry Foolwell. Ah know he needs just as much munny as I do in order to honner God.

Dr. Jayden:
Excuse me. Let’s get back to the topic, please.
The point of my previous comments is that we shouldn't limit ourselves to Magic when we think of the Origin of Life on Earth. Looking carefully at the Advanced Technology described in the Bible will give us a better understanding of God and our origins.

Dr. Einstein:
As I said before, there are no miracles, only Cause and Effect. God does not play dice with atoms. When eyewitnesses saw Jesus heal someone, they described it as a miracle. The healing was the Effect, but what was the Cause?

Dr. Jayden:
Like Jesus, described in the Bible as possessing a spirit, some sort of telepathcic force within which records and stores memories, we too have a similar spirit. Connecting every living thing is the Spirit of God, the creative, healing, life-sustaining, connecting force that permeates the universe.

Jesus requested, via his spirit, that the Spirit of God heal someone, and it responded by rapidly repairing the afflicted person via their spirit.

After death, our memories are put in storage, then later scanned for the presence of evil. Those who are chosen will have their cleaned-up memories downloaded into new bodies, free of mutations, free of disease. Those who are not chosen will face permanent destruction, much like contaminated biological wastes are eliminated today. Our spirits, then, are like an interface allowing remote access of our minds by beings not on this world.

Dr. Pagan:
Ahem, are we back to Wednesday night Bible study?

Dr. Loo:
I believe we should allow Dr. Jayden some freedom for religious discussion to provide a better explanation of his theories.

Dr. Jayden:
Thank you. We can attempt to prove Magic Evolution is true using our flawed human logic and incomplete information. We can use a magnifying glass to look at a fossil, guess how it got there, and call it science. We can also use our dime-store magnifying glass that we found in a box of Cracker Jacks to see similarities in life and insist that it all mutated from one self-assembled cell.

Or, we can be the die-hards who get belligerent with those who doubt God used Magic Words to create the Universe and Life in an instant.

To God, I believe, our human wisdom is a joke, our theories absurd. We have no clue what real science is. All we have are dark glasses and Cracker Jacks toys to use to explore the secrets of the vast universe. The person who wrote the book of Genesis saw something, then wrote it down, even though he may not have understood it or been able to clearly explain what he saw. We should be very grateful he at least wrote down something, otherwise, we would have nothing but pseudo-science to explain how we got here.

Moderator:
Mr. Darwin, you have been very quiet this evening. Would you like to share your ideas with us? After your comments we will end the discussion, allow a short open-mike session, and then the audience will vote.

Mr. Darwin [chimpanzee puppet]:
Thank you, Mr. Blather. Well, I know enough that I think it would take a miracle for life to create itself and evolve into all of the life forms we see today and in the fossil record. A miracle, like Dr. Einstein has indicated, is an effect without sufficient cause. To me that means that biological programming could not exist without a programmer, an intelligent force to create the codes. Likewise, a God who speaks and stuff miraculously appears out of nothing relies on magic, again, an effect without a sufficient cause.

May my late great-great grandfather Charles Darwin forgive me, but I think the theory of evolution is based on a false premise, that life can create itself and then program itself to evolve. But a Magic God creating stuff out of nothing goes even beyond the false logic of evolution. Why, then, wouldn’t God use magic to fix this crummy, garbage-can-of-a-world with just a few magic words instead of permitting so much suffering to continue?

This leaves me with only one alternative, that life was either brought here or assembled here by a highly advanced being or civilization. Somehow religions were invented based on myths and superstitions born from misunderstanding the Bible or other written materials.

Magic Evolution is a liar, so is Magic Creation. My vote goes to Extraterrestrial Colonization of this planet. Yes, my vote goes to Alien Coloniaztion. When you think about it, God and the angels, or whatever they call themselves, are actually aliens, aren’t they, ‘cause they’re not from here, but from outer space.

Moderator:
Thank you, Mr. Darwin, for your comments. We will now end our discussion of origins and let a couple members of the studio audience speak.

What’s your name, and what would you like to say to the discussion panel?

Evelyn White:
My name is Evelyn White, and I’m actually a great-great granddaughter of Ellen White, a rather famous Christian author. I’m not much of a writer, really, but here’s something I wrote that I would like to share. It’s called, Long Ago and Far Away.

"Long ago and far away, before time began, there was God.
With power earth-minds cannot comprehend, he transformed thought into reality and assembled the elements into beautiful and spectacular creations.

He made for himself a Land to dwell in, green and golden and timeless, and put there tall and noble beings to be his helpers and companions.

He surrounded his world with blazing stars, flaming comets, and magnificent swirling galaxies: a cosmic symphony of light framed into an interstellar tapestry.
Nowhere could there be found flaw in his work, for all that he made was good.

There, in the Land of God, far beyond the stars we know, all was peace and harmony for age upon age, millennia after millennia.

He made other worlds and star systems, strange and wonderful beyond imagination, and scattered them throughout the universe: islands of life in endless fields of light.
His great love for all of his creatures reached everywhere, and everywhere love was returned.

From star to star and planet to planet, the whole universe reverberated with songs of love and joy and beauty unlimited: all creation united in intergalactic harmony."
[audience claps]

Moderator:
That’s very picturesque, Ms. White. We have time for one more short comment. Yes, the young man with the red, green and blue hair.

Rainbow Kid:
I’m the Rainbow Kid. I may look a little strange to you, but I like to write poetry. Here’s my poem about creation and evolution:

Mantra for Magic Creation

Magic God
Magic Words
Poof! Poof! Poof!
Magic Universe
Magic Planet
Magic Man
Magic Fruit
Big Sin
Bad Fall
Bad Sickness
Bad Mutations
Bad Death
Big Bad Everywhere
Big Boat
Big Rain
Big Flood
Big Mud
Really Big Death
Big Fossils
Little Fossils
Big Time Evidence


Mantra for Magic Evolution

Magic Soup
Magic Juice
Really Big Time
Millions Millions Millions
Poof! Poof! Poof!
Really Big Magic
Life from Non-Life
Magic Self-Creation
Millions Millions Millions
More Big Magic
Many Different Creatures
All from One
Millions Millions Millions
Magical Mutations
Poof! Poof! Poof!
Fish Walk
Lizards Fly
Millions Millions Millions
Really Big Disaster
Really Big Death
Many Little Floods
Big Fossils
Little Fossils
Big Up Here
Little Down There
Big Comes from Little
Millions Millions Millions
More Big Magic
Poof! Poof! Poof!
Men and Apes are Brothers

Moderator:
Thank you to our debate panel for some thoughtful discussion tonight. And thank you to our two open-mike participants. And special thanks to the SWAT TEAM and Bomb Squad for taking care of Mr. Mass Murderer.

Our time is up. Let’s all vote for the theory we think best solves the problem of the origin of life on Earth. We have three choices, really: Magic Words, Magic Evolution, or Aliens.

The studio audience can vote by pressing either number 1 for Magic Creation, number 2 for Magic Evolution, or number 3 for Extraterrestrial Colonization. Our viewers at home can vote online by going to originsdebate.com and click on “vote”. May the best theory win…

Lots of work there - pity it misses out on the basic standard of understanding what it aims to critique.

...aannd, suggesting that life on earth was created by aliens simply moves the question back one step - who created the aliens, or where did they come from? We can go back as many steps as we like, but there has to be an origin in Origins. Moving the aliens in doesn't solve that.

Bravus, if you read that entire post you need to be nominated for sainthood.

Have to admit I skimmed a little.