My adult son walks out of the worship service.

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And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with
– even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department.
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#21633 - 01/11/05 04:52 AM My adult son walks out of the worship service.
Anonymous Unregistered	He is not some anti-religious psycho secular slob. This is a spin off from another thread... yet after hearing cell phones go off during the prayer and having an infant shake a baby rattle constantly next to him, with the mother's permission or neglect... and 3 offerings just during the worship service alone..and boring preliminary after preliminary ..... Anyone else attend a SDA church from ghenna???
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#21634 - 01/11/05 05:45 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: sweettrini]
Nicodema Registered: 11/22/03 Posts: 777 Loc: Beyond your grasp	The first time I took my son (16) to church (since childhood) I was rather disappointed that afterwards, he did not seem interested in returning. It took him a few weeks to actually talk with me about why (teenagers can be like that sometimes). Turns out he had been not merely offended but downright freaked out by one of the women in our sabbath school discussion who had gone off on a tangent raving about how she would do "anything" God asked her to do -- and she named some pretty drastic and bizarre examples of that "anything". I completely did not remember that part of the discussion AT ALL, but I'm not surprised -- I frequently dissociate and this is exactly the kind of thing I would have dissociated over. My son doesn't dissociate however, and his reaction was very normal and healthy: "Mom, I was completely appalled. I mean, this woman was TWISTED. She belonged in a mental institution." And sorry but in cases like those, somehow the old cliche about "welllll gosh golly gee the devil will do anything to keep us out of church" just does NOT cut it. I mean give me a break, why can't I take my son to church in the hopes of him hearing the healing word of God, of encountering the Light of the World, and NOT have him traumatized for the effort? Don't I have a right to expect that much? By "right" I mean, is it not reasonable to expect at the VERY least that much? I don't expect a whole lot, truly. _________________________ "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot
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#21635 - 01/11/05 06:13 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: ]
LifeHiscost Registered: 06/14/03 Posts: 4235 Loc: Western United States	"Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you [yourselves] may not be judged. Look! The Judge is [already] standing at the very door. James 5:9 16These are inveterate murmurers (grumblers) who complain [of their lot in life..." Lift Jesus up!! _________________________ Lift Jesus up!!
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#21636 - 01/11/05 05:28 PM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: ]
Anonymous Unregistered	LHC, Am I incorrect in posting that your scripture reply implies that the remarks/complaints are not valid or unfounded? Matt 21 13 and said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; Is. 56.7 but ye have made it a den of thieves. Was Jesus grumbling? How bad does it have to get? Does someone have to roll in a 60 inch TV and watch sports on TV in the sanctuary before w can grumble? Do topless dancers have to come in? How many cell phones have to go off before anything can be done about it..??
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#21637 - 01/11/05 06:25 PM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: sweettrini]
Neil D Today, I ain't for sale. Check back tomorrow. Registered: 08/10/00 Posts: 13664 Loc: Ca., Id, Wa., Or. or somewhere...	Quote: yet after hearing cell phones go off during the prayer and having an infant shake a baby rattle constantly next to him, with the mother's permission or neglect... and 3 offerings just during the worship service alone..and boring preliminary after preliminary ..... So, Jimbob, when are you going to bring the problem of boring preliminary after preliminary to the pastor? Does the church board know about this? Have you gone to the meeting and brought up this problem? Of course, you have to do have to use some tact when bringing up this problem....Have you talked to your son and asked for a written complaint? Hey Nico, have you ever concidered that our church attracts the weird ones in the human population? I mean, anyone who says that they would do anything God asked them to, and not question it and looks certifiable, certainly qualifies as "weird" in my book. And your "diassociation" during this converstation tells me of some profound problems that you seemed to have aquired. [shudder] It's probably a good thing that your defense mechanism kicks in when it does! Have you talked to the pastor about your son? Do you have a youth pastor? Have you concidered a cell group for fellowship? [although, that can be a bit dicey as well, depending upon the poeple]. _________________________ Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. George Bernard Shaw
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#21638 - 01/11/05 07:52 PM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: res0pgdo]
Anonymous Unregistered	Neil, I talk with people at the church to ascertain the sensitivity to the issues. I usually deal with the deacons or elders..at this church I am neither. My son mentioned that we ought to take Amelia's cartoon and make a bunch of copies and put them on the windshields in the church parking lot...while the sermon is going Isn't that cool???? Since there are supposed to be always a small percentage of whiners...I need to see if the percentage is at the level to initiate stronger action. Maybe most don't care if cell phones go off or the sermon is short and the preliminaries are long or there is constant racket from the kids and infants..the usual steady roar...or there is 3 offering during church and the sabbath school has theirs too so that is 4 in a 3 hour period.. But..there are Gideons out there who will mess around in spite of the major populations loving their ease and idols.. I have already started spreading this out with communication to various sources besides this..
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#21639 - 01/12/05 04:33 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: ]
Nicodema Registered: 11/22/03 Posts: 777 Loc: Beyond your grasp	Quote: "Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you [yourselves] may not be judged. Look! The Judge is [already] standing at the very door. James 5:9 16These are inveterate murmurers (grumblers) who complain [of their lot in life..." Having you judge me as a "complainer" (and therefore, I presume, only to be dismissed) does nothing to HELP matters here. I am still left with a son whom I love more than life itself, who now, through no fault of his own, nor mine, has a negative association between church and some raving wild-eyed zealot who went on and on about how she would not hesitate to go even so far as to do violence to family members "if God commanded it." Maybe you don't give a toss about this, LHC, but I sure do. I want my son to have positive and healthy mental associations with the idea of God and church. You can judge me all you like as being a mere "inveterate complainer," but I'm still entitled to at least some "dog food" as it were, and I will still press my plea for the "scraps" from the Master's table that are my right, for myself AND my son. _________________________ "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot
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#21640 - 01/12/05 04:44 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: res0pgdo]
Nicodema Registered: 11/22/03 Posts: 777 Loc: Beyond your grasp	Quote: Hey Nico, have you ever concidered that our church attracts the weird ones in the human population? I mean, anyone who says that they would do anything God asked them to, and not question it and looks certifiable, certainly qualifies as "weird" in my book. Basically I think it is a matter of context. I am able to process people saying those kinds of things because I have a context for it which is founded in an understanding of God as a reasonable and compassionate all-wise, all-loving Supreme Being. But to someone "outside" the Spirit looking in, those kinds of statements can sound very bizarre and outré indeed, even "certifiable". And it's hard to describe to them how to parse that stuff, especially when we are talking impressionable 16 year olds who are really sensitive to everything going on and expressed around them, at the height of the age range where they are suspicious of adults and adult motives, particularly toward themselves. Quote: And your "dissociation" during this converstation tells me of some profound problems that you seemed to have acquired. [shudder] It's probably a good thing that your defense mechanism kicks in when it does! I'm not 100% sure I dissociated actually -- that's just the first explanation that came to my mind because I totally did not remember that woman's statements at all. I even told my son as much, asked him, "where was I while this was going on?" I asked him did he remember me responding to her statements, or anything -- it really troubles me that I can't remember anything about it specifically. I can only conclude I was either dissociating or processing that entire chunk of the discussion on a totally different level. I certainly was not seeing/hearing what my son was seeing/hearing, and it bothered me that I was not more tuned into his perceptions -- even potentially so -- at the time. Quote: Have you talked to the pastor about your son? Do you have a youth pastor? Have you concidered a cell group for fellowship? [although, that can be a bit dicey as well, depending upon the poeple]. We don't have a youth pastor. It's a smallish church. The pastor is new (last June). He's busy getting acclimated and settled. A little too busy. No, I've not spoken with him. I don't think I've even been back to church since that time. The past autumn was a blur for me. I don't remember much of it at all. Autumn tends to be like that, and I tend to isolate myself for that reason. Now that it's over I've been thinking of going back to church again but having not gone for awhile I feel awkward about it, and I'm not sure where I want to go. I wouldn't even know where to find a cell group, and I doubt one would want me even if I did. _________________________ "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot
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#21641 - 01/12/05 05:13 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: ]
Sid Registered: 09/27/04 Posts: 1278 Loc: CA	Quote: ...I've been thinking of going back to church again but having not gone for awhile I feel awkward about it, and I'm not sure where I want to go. I wouldn't even know where to find a cell group, and I doubt one would want me even if I did. Are you forreal?! I know you must be joking. Any group would want you and be very lucky to have you. I hope you do go back to church. I'm trying to go back too. Maybe we can encourage each other to go again.
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#21642 - 01/12/05 05:19 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: lastsupper]
Nicodema Registered: 11/22/03 Posts: 777 Loc: Beyond your grasp	Quote: Any group would want you and be very lucky to have you. What a sweet thing to say! Thank you, Sid. Quote: I hope you do go back to church. I'm trying to go back too. Maybe we can encourage each other to go again. Deal ... too bad you don't live nearby, we could go together! _________________________ "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot
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