I met Imelda (who I call Céline) online as a result of Stan inviting me to join Adventist Dating. Internet technology not only allows the two of us to visit each day but to study our Sabbath school lessons, cook, go shopping, sing, play guitar and even go on vacation together. Céline is often in my home via video chat on the Ipad which allows her to interact with my children, Alex and Shania. The same technology allows me to interact interact with her son, Gabriel, who loves playing basketball and is an avid fan. At the time of this announcement, we have been dating for eight months.  We chatted online for one month before we officially started dating.  I am on track to complete my master’s degree in family counseling in fall of 2020 but will not be changing careers. My work in counseling will be a part-time ministry.  I have already been ordained by a non-denominational ministry so that I can work as a pastoral counselor and not have issues with the Texas Department of Health.

Let me tell you a little about her.  

Imelda, or Céline, was raised in a Seventh-day Adventist home on a farm in the Philippines. There she played in rice fields and practiced martial arts with her brothers. She attended an Adventist elementary school and was in Pathfinders. She was ROTC captain in high school. She went to Central Philippines Adventist College (CPAC) where she earned a business degree. She speaks six languages, although not fluent in all of them (English, Tagalog, Visayan, Mandarin, Arabic and French). She is 42 years old and has an 18-year old son, Gabriel, now attending CPAC. She never married and has worked in Beirut, Lebanon as a caretaker for ten years to pay for Gabriel’s Christian education. She has also worked in Taiwan and Dubai. She enjoys playing volleyball and basketball. At age 39, she won the last beauty pageant she competed in. It was the third time she had won such a contest. 

I used to be very active here but when my first marriage started experiencing problems, my activity here dropped off.  For those who were not here when I was or don't remember much about me, here is my brief bio.

I was also raised in a Seventh-day Adventist home. My family moved throughout the United States often. I lived in eight different states by the time I was 18 years old (Nebraska, Utah, Iowa, Wisconsin, Texas, Colorado, Washington and Minnesota). I was a soldier for five years in the United States Army, serving a tour in Panama. Later I was a missionary in El Salvador, studied Spanish in Guadalajara, Mexico and graduated Minnesota State University, Mankato with a business degree. While in college, I ran a ministry on campus for three years. I moved back to Texas after college and have worked in commercial building construction since that time. I have custody of my two children, Alex and Shania (17 and 15) from a previous marriage that lasted 18 years. As mentioned above, I am currently a graduate student, studying online at the Adventist university in Mexico.  

I know many of my church friends are concerned for me.  I have been married twice and the concern is that perhaps I should not marry again.  I appreciate that.  I was married to my first wife for 18 years.  She had a mid-life crisis and left me for another man (who was and still is married to someone else).  I tried to save the marriage but was not successful.  Broken-hearted, I rushed into a second marriage, against my better judgement – marrying only 30 days after my divorce was final.  (We actually had lunch with Stan on our honeymoon at the 2015 GC)  We blended families.  The kids didn’t get along and I developed PTSD as a result of the high-conflict divorce with my first wife.  I ended the marriage, under the guidance of a counselor, because of health issues.  I had developed high blood pressure, acid reflux, insomnia and weight gain.   It was simply bad timing.  I needed time to recover from the divorce with my first wife.  I got treatment for the PTSD and recovered my health.  This time I have been taking it slow.  My children are older and have recovered from the divorce and support this decision.  With God’s grace things will work out this time.                                        

I have enjoyed being a single-parent raising my children for over three years.  Actually, more than enjoyed, I have absolutely loved being my kids; dad.  It has been a joy and an honor.  It cost me thousands of dollars to win custody.  I will actually finish paying off the lawyer loan this year in April.  I am so grateful to have been given the opportunity to continue raising my children for God.  It is a privilege that most divorced fathers never have.  My parents divorced when I was young.  I never had a real father figure.  I lived on the streets as a teenager before sobering up in Alcoholics Anonymous at the age of 16.  I learned how to submit to authority, how to listen, how to learn from my own mistakes and even more, how to learn from the mistakes of others.  I read books about being a husband before I got married and about being a father before I had children.  While I am a construction project manager and have built projects valued at more than $10 million, I am a family man.  I am the father to my children that I never had.  I have worked hard to maintain a healthy relationship with my ex-wife so we can co-parent our children together. 

The average time a man waits after a divorce to remarry in the US is 3 years.  That is what it will be for me.  A recent study showed that 61% of divorced Adventists never remarry.  That is almost the opposite of the population in general in which 60% do remarry (and many more cohabitate).  The Bible teaches it is not good for man to be alone and multiple studies confirm the benefits of marriage.  It is unknown why so many divorced Adventists stay single.  Those who experience the forgiving grace of God have no need to perform penance for a failed marriage.  Divorce should be a wake-up call to take inventory, repent of sins and start a new path.  Many second marriages fail because people blame their ex and don’t learn from the divorce.  That certainly is not the case with me. 

This place was like a second church for me for a long time.  I grew a lot spiritually from interacting here and I am sure there are many Adventists that are isolated or in churches that are not very active and could benefit a lot from this forum.  I liked the name Club Adventist better but,,, who am I?  Maybe the GC didn't share my opinion.  I still pop in here every now and again but life is extremely busy right now.  In a couple of years I will be done with graduate school, both of my children will be adults, and I will be married again.  Those are all big changes and hopefully all positive ones.

I have been informed that he is going to be honored again on September 14, in Elk Grove.

The message was somewhat cryptic, and I am attempting to find out more about it.  For now, I do not know exactly who is honoring him, but obviously the Department of Corrections is involved.

But, it seems that sometime earlier he was driving to work and noticed a burning building.   He stopped and helped a woman to escape from her burning apartment. 

I will keep you informed.

I have now started on my second novel.  So, my time on social media is decreasing drastically.  I will be returning to grad school again in the Fall so I am seeing how much of this novel I can complete before then.  The novel is loosely modeled after my life.  It is a real life Batman.  Batman is a successful businessman by day and superhero by night.  My main character is a successful businessman by day and a chaplain-counselor by night.  The businessman storyline takes the reader through the ethical changes and high stress of working in the world of construction management.  The main character, Nick Aldridge, hires an intern (Marco Mendoza) and serves as the young man's mentor.  They win a contract to build a $200 million courthouse.  The main villain is the owner's representative who believes by making Nick and Marco's job more difficult, he will gain a promotion for him self.  As a counselor, Nick run a ministry for troubled teens.  It has a horse ranch with cabins where the teens spend weekends in group and equine therapy.  The storyline includes issues the teens are dealing with as well as Nick's own children.  Nick is torn.  His role in the business world is as a "Daniel" - witnessing to others how Christians are to do business.  His role as a counselor is helping teens heal from trauma so they can live functional lives.  At the end of the book, he is faced with a decision to choose between the two.  

PostumCafe.com now has an online counseling clinic.  This consists of seminars that include a workbook.  The participant must buy the workbook online - like at Amazon.  There is a video session at Postum Cafe for each chapter in the workbook.  The topics available are Depression, Anxiety, Anger and Gender Dysphoria.  There are also several videos for Adventist Recovery and a link to some of David Asscherick's videos.

https://www.postumcafe.com/online-clinic

A few weeks ago, this same daughter told me she met a boy and had agreed to be his girlfriend,,,, but not until after she graduates college in December.  He is an Adventist.  She met him at school at the jazz club.  He is a musician - like her.  She performed special music for our church yesterday and invited the boy to come.  He lives in Brownsville, Texas and our church is in McAllen, Texas.  (Both in the Rio Grande Valley but about 60 miles apart [we live in the middle]).  The Rio Grande Valley (comprised of four counties) has 38 SDA churches, or companies, totaling 8,000 baptized members.  Brownsville has only two SDA churches.  The church he attends has about 100 members.  Being raised in a low-income family, he hadn't left the county of his birth much.  It was his first time in our church, which is the largest SDA church in the Valley. 

After the church service, he came home with us to have dinner.  Here is the milestone and why I am sharing this in this forum.   Few young adults today bring a boy or a girl they are interested in home to meet their parents before they start dating.  This is tradition but often not done.  My ex-wife and I have been co-parenting our children, as recommended, since our divorce.  My daughter took this boy to meet her mother first.  Yesterday was my turn.  My wife (my daughter's stepmom) and I prepared the food before the Sabbath.  So, arriving home from church we had to warm it up.  My mother is staying in our guestroom temporarily so she joined us.  My son (or transgender daughter), lives with his mom but s/he also came to join us.  We filled up the seats at our large table and we talked.  About what?  We started with the epistles of Paul.  Then we got into a discussion about the witch of Endor.  We ended up talking about Pastor David Asscherick.  Why him?  Well, this boy just converted to Adventism a couple of years ago.  He was raised Catholic and into punk rock.  One of the things he likes about Adventism is that, like punk rock, it is anti-establishment.  The fact that Adventists don't believe in the pope, only follow the Bible and specifically honor Saturday as the Sabbath are anti-establishment things that set well with his background in punk rock.  Of course we had to talk about Pastor David Asscherick.

As a pastoral counselor with a degree in marriage and family therapy, I did not miss how special this event was.  It is an honor to be a father.  When my children were born, I dedicated them to the Lord.  There was a religious ceremony.  Their mother and I took them in front of the church and presented them.  We made a vow to God to raise them for Him.  That ritual is nearly as important as baptism.  Unfortunately not all Adventist parents take it as seriously as I did.  When their mother decided to divorce, I had the great honor of being award full custody and raising my children as a single dad.  But I had partners.  Our church and their church school partnered with me.  I don't know if this boy has a future with my daughter or if that will be someone else.  But it was an honor to have him in our home.  We ate great food, shared non-alcoholic beverages and had great conversation.  After ward we watched a Christian movie and then hiked the Via Dolorosa at a Catholic shrine a few miles from my home.  BTW: my daughter's name is Shania and his name is, Marco.

This is all for ministry.  Let's see where God leads me.

   
Now, my God, let, I beseech thee, thine eyes be open, and let thine ears be attentive unto the prayer that is made in this place. (2 Chron 6:40)

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Prayer is the opening of the heart to God as to a friend. Not that it is necessary in order to make known to God what we are, but in order to enable us to receive Him. Prayer does not bring God down to us, but brings us up to Him. When Jesus was upon the earth, He taught His disciples how to pray. He directed them to present their daily needs before God, and to cast all their care upon Him. And the assurance He gave them that their petitions should be heard, is the blessed assurance also to us.

Jesus said "unto them, It is written, My house is the house of prayer:" (Luke 19:46)

Please click on link below to ask for prayer. Each request will receive a personal answer with a promise from Scripture that seems pertinent to their prayer request.

Light In The Clouds Prayer Request Page

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"At even my wife died; and I did in the morning as I was commanded." Ezekiel 24:18)

The light of the warm home fire went out. Darkness brooded over the face of every familiar, and precious thing. The trusted companion, and love of my life who had shared all of the changes of the ever-changing way, was taken from my side. The light of our sweet fellowship, and of our loving journey was suddenly extinguished as if by some mysterious, unseen hand stretched forth from the unknown.

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"I lost the desire of mine eyes."

I was alone. "At even, my wife died; and...in the morning...

"But what about that next morning, when the light broke almost obtrusively upon a world that had changed into a cemetery, containing only one grave? "In the morning; I did what I was commanded."

The command had been laid upon me in the days before my bereavement. Life in our little home has been a source of true inspirational fellowship, and loving companionship. In the evening times, after all of the many little things there were to do in a day;  we would both turn to our home, and being together, as the perfect comfort, and rejuvenation. Immersed in the sweet sanctities of married life, the romance never ended. No matter how sick she got. It just continued. We both found in our togetherness, the restoration and inspiration, that would prepare us for another day. But, today;

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"at even my wife died."

The home is no longer a refreshing bath, or a loving embrace, or a lovingly cooked meal. And the hard, dusty road travelled each day will lead no more to an oasis; but rather to a roiling continuance of the wilderness.

But, what of the prophet's command here?

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"At even, my wife died; and in the morning - the commandment?"  

How does the old duty appear in the gloom of my bereavement? Duty, still clamant and insistent, now absorbed into the shadows; as it became loud and importunate in the light. What now shall I do? Take up the old burden, and faithfully trudge the old road? Impossible. Go out into the loneliness, and try to go on with the old tasks? But why?

Perhaps I will find the secret of that little bit of light at the end of this chapter, from Ezekiel 24?

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"Thou shalt be a sign unto them; and they shall know that I am of The Lord."

Being broken-hearted doesnt have to be the end of the story. Perhaps going back to some of the old duties; and by the manner of so doing, others will be compelled to believe in Jesus too? Is that the secret motive in the "dark night of the soul?"

Our wonderful Lord wants our conspicuous crises to be opportunities of testimony; our seasons of darkness should afford some sort of unveiling of The Divine. Jesus wants duty to shine more resplendently, because of the environing shadows of grieving;

Jesus only wants my tribulation to assist in "letting my Light shine." And I WILL let it shine tomorrow.

Isnt that why Paul says:

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Rom 8:15  For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

Rom 8:28  "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

 

Jesus wants to manifest the sweet grace of continuance; of searching for the little bit of light and opportunity amid all of the sudden and saddening upheavals of this stormy life. This was Ezekiel's triumph; and that leaves me to wonder, can this be my opportunity too? Could I possibly make my calamity a witness to the eternal? Will I too be able to make my decrepit loneliness minister to our Lord? Is my grieving able to intensify my calling to go beyond this insistent hour of grief?

Sure; I can take up the old task. And in taking it up; it can be glorified...as I "choose this day whom I will serve..."

"At even, my wife died. And in the morning I will do what God tells me. The evening sorrow has come to me. How shall it be for me, once the funeral is over? That "joy that comes in the morning," (Psalms 30:5), for me will be the resurrection morning.

Truly, "weeping may endure for the night; but joy comes in the morning." (Psalms 30:5)

I will expect that special morning...that Light In The Clouds When Jesus gathers us all together, unto Himself on the resurrection morning. As long as the darkness lasts; I will expect that Light. I will wake up every day, expecting the light of Christ in the dark clouds. (1 Thes 4: 13-18) In the thick darkness, (Job 38:9) Jesus is there. Jesus comes near "in the thick darkness..."

I expect it. (Deut 4:11)

I cry...

Abba. Father....

_____________

"There is always a little light..."

The actual marriage ceremony was not the romantic thing that people envision.  We took a taxi to three (3) Different Korean government offices,  In each we answered questions, and officials placed official stamps on our documents.  After the third, we were married, but, not yet done.  We than had to register our marriage with the U.S. Embassy, and obtain a new Passport for her.

In one of the government offices we had a little hitch.  That Korean official wanted to review a copy of my decree of divorce from my previous wife, which I had not expected.  After some discussion he decided that issue was a U.S. matter and he did not have to protect any Koreans from a man with another wife, so he stamped our documents.  NOTE:  The woman I was marrying was a U.S. born citizen.

As part of the pre-marriage preparation,  Sharon had been required to receive a full medical evaluation by military physicians.  She passed and I was given military permission to marry her. 

NOTE:  South Korea does not allow for religious marriages.  So, our marriage was a civil one.  Yes, at a later time we had a religious ceremony.  But, that had no legal standing.

I will let him share the details, if he decides to do so. 

In any case, he is looking forward to returning to this forum, shortly.

In the mean time, I wish him well, and a favorable outcome from the critical days of this week.

*  Next week I will begin a series of injections directly into my eyeballs that will be designed to slow the changes in my vision that are taking place.

*  Those injections will likely take place on a regular basis for some 36 months to the rest of my life.

*  I am thankful for the medical science that has treatments for conditions that could not be treated in the past.

*   As to the outcome of those injections, no one knows.  Stabilization at my present level of eyesight is probably the best that can be expected.

Noah had previously been scheduled to enter the world on July 17.  But, he got restless and entered our lives today weighing in at 5 pounds one ounce.

All in all he was healthy.  However, as he was premature, his respiration is being closely watched and  he is on oxygen.  He is expected to stay in the neo-natal intensive care unit for the next 4 - 6 weeks.   But, that will give moma a chance to recover and get set to enter into full-time child care.

All of us are thankful for his good health considering his pre-mature status.

Who remembers this?

Samantha is officially adopted by my daughter and her husband, and was delivered by C-section a day or so ago. My daughter thought that she was perfect, even though Samantha howled during her first bath. She quieted down after she was wrapped up warmly and held by her new parents.

The hospital gave the them a room to stay in until the baby is allowed to go home with them, just a day or two after birth. I think she has 1 month of maternity leave from the SDA conference where she works.

Samantha.doc

My son has depression and anxiety, has started smoking a drinking, but was Baptised SDA 2 years ago. I knwo God has him, i occasionally get worried but i know its my anxiety playing up.

He was 18 in October

Uploaded for your perusal if you didnt see them on the photo wall

When I first started staying he was independent. Daily on the computer, cleaned himself, would drive if need be. Sometimes it would take a moment for him to either understand what you were saying and had to give him a minute to process, or a moment to formulate his own thoughts but otherwise you would not see him as sick. But we knew that illness was coming and I was expecting a slow down hill journey. On my days off I'd go home and back there after work.

I was away for a week. When I got back I noticed that he seemed a little more frail and sleeping more and thought he was heading down hill, but the following few weeks he kept bouncing between the two. I noticed that it went with the weather outside. On warm days he was strong and awake and alert, when cold he was weaker and more drowsy and a bit harder to think and form words.  But he was still very independent.

Then came Thanksgiving day. I got up and said to him "Happy thanksgiving" You could see him thinking and trying to process what I said. He finally asked me to repeat it so again I said "Happy thanksgiving!" Again he thought then he replied "I perceive that today must be thanksgiving and you are trying to wish me a happy thanksgiving. I wish you just simply said 'Happy Thanksgiving' and stop there. All those other words made it sound like either you did something wrong and wanted to apologize to me or I did something wrong and you want me to apologize to you." Then he got up to use the bathroom. But I caught him before he fell and his son and I had to keep catching him to and from the bathroom. He was weak and confused. So much for a slow gradual downhill slide.

A few weeks before he had signed up for hospice care and they kicked right in. They did an excellent job of training his son in how to care for him and his x-wife also came to help. I took off a few days from work and the 3 of us cared for him. There was something alert in him yet something confused in him. My mom and sister and another cousin visited a few times and he clearly knew that they were there. He would smile and hold their hands and after they left he could answer "Yes" when asked if he could remember that they came. We took turns watching him at night. I had checked him at 1:40 AM on Wednesday December 2. At 3:00 AM his x-wife checked on him and went back to sleep. She woke up again a little after 5:00 and woke up his son and me and let us know that he had stopped breathing. We were sleeping around him so he would not be alone. We then notified Hospice who again was fantastic.

Now I had one cousin who died shortly after birth but I was too young to remember. Other wise there were 17 of us cousins. This is the first of us 17 to die. Even though I was there and saw him I still cannot believe that he is gone. There was no slow road down. One day he was independent and then the next morning confused and weak and 6 days later dead.

I know this is not a happy milestone but it is one.