Administrators Gail Posted September 27, 2004 Administrators Share Posted September 27, 2004 Do you touch people as you talk to them? And/or Do you like it when people touch you when they are talking to you? Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatLakesGramma Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 Absolutely not! Quote Catherine God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26. "To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." -- C. S. Lewis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cricket Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 Depends on the person. My kids are definitely hands-on. My husband? Oh yeah! My 7+ friends: depends on the that individual's personality. Some of them don't like it. In general, if the receiver is cold to touch at all, I won't touch him/her again. As for me, I'm generally not a touchy-feely kind of person. Unless I'm getting a back-rub... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Gail Posted September 27, 2004 Author Administrators Share Posted September 27, 2004 I admit that I often touch my listener's back or shoulder when I talk to him/her, but lightly Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 I am a touchy feely person it is in my Italian blood, but the touching would be upon greeting . . .a hug or a kiss. After the greeting, I step back and talk to the person. The only time I would be touching someone else would be if we were crying together. A hug is all you can do when someone is crying. K Quote Proverbs 15:15 He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derrell M Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 That is the quickest way to make me lose what I was talking about. I absolutely dislike being touched, my kids being the exception. I used to work for a company where they had a group worship on Monday morning. All the employees gathered in a circle while someone gave a devotional, and then they all held hands for prayer. After that was over several minutes were spent hugging each other. If I showed up, I would slip out before prayer. The holding hands part was way more than I could tolerate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 friends... Ever see Flip Wilson, in drag, do Geraldine? Get your hands off me! Did I say you could touch me?? UH UH.. Don't you ever touch me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 I don't mind being touched if it's in a caring, reassuring way, or in friendly camraderie. I myself usually don't touch someone else unless/until I know them pretty well (well enough to know if it's OK, and hopefully, when it's not). Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry Rogers Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 I like touch - touching, hugging, a reassuring touch, a "I hurt with you" touch, all sorts of touch. I think hugs are wonderful. And... too many people are touch shy, unfortunately. Touch can be sooooo healing and comforting - especially to people who are in need spiritually, emotionally, or many other ways. For me, can't get enough of it. Quote Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 JB--funny! I'm probably in the middle. I do not voluntarily touch someone (outside of family), unless it's hugging for comfort, and only if they appear to be receptive to it. Come to think of it--people don't usually touch me uninvited (maybe I'm too standoffish). I don't mind holding hands for a prayer, and I like greeting people in church (once I know them!) with handshakes and will accept a hug from the grandmas who always give me a hug. Hmm. Don't know what that means? M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cricket Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> And... too many people are touch shy, unfortunately. Touch can be sooooo healing and comforting - <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> Just because a person doesn't like to be touched does not necessarily mean they are "touch shy". Sometimes touch can be intimidating, threatening and harassing (even when the toucher doesn't intend to). Also, some people are extra touch-sensitive. Their skin is just more sensitive than another's. I've heard it said that men's skin is much less sensitive than a woman's. And, each of us is different. For me, in the evening, just before bed, my skin actually feels like it crawls when it is touched. One that touches me at the wrong time is likely to receive a slap, or even a reflexive kick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aka Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 my... what a remarkable thread topic. Unique. The answers are so honest and revealing in a veiled way. Separate chimpansee's from the group to live an isolated life without the grooming, touching and hugging it gets daily in the group will produce depression and in some cases neurotic behavior. Verbably or physically abuse this chimp in isolation also to boot, will bring negative patterns of other behaviour. In most cases, when it's a female and bears offspring, it rejects the babe in apathy. The babe chimp then dies if the humans don't rescue it for homecare. We humans were made originally in God's image. There has been a steady attack by the Destroyer over thousands of years to corrupt that essence of God's character in man's reflection. We are living in cultures, societies and racial tribes where the degeneration of human dignity of God's image is showing itself in debauchery, depravitude of character purity, debased in morality and other such just plain sinfulness. When Jesus's Spirit comes to fill a new-creature-in-Christ the process will cause all things to become new. There is a turn around and away from the corruptions of God's expressed image for man to the building up of a new picture of God within the person. Here in this thread we are talking now about tactile perceptions. Genuine Christians learn that there is a time for all things as Solomon revealed. Even a time to touch and a time to refrain from touching. Sensitivity to God's ways teaches how to size up the person opposite and their need of the moment. A touch to convey acceptance, understanding, sympathy or soul-comfort-giving is just an expressive extension of a counseling christian working in the spirit of friendship and agape. Where that touch lands on the body of the one opposite is to be wisely determined so as not to evoke a sense of threat to the sexuality of the one opposite. Ah, yes... that's the point, come to think of it. Awakening of latent libido in erotogenesis zones in the one opposite. Now enters the Christian whole complex of resisting the lusts of the flesh to avoid sinning. Sort of like in the lines of a little leaven levens the whole lump, or don't give a hand they'll take the arm, or small foxes spoil the vineyard, or one thing leads to another. If it is common knowledge that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, could a new adage be penned that the reception of a touch is better interpretated by the Receiver than the motive of the Giver? Should the ones in this thread giving a resounding 'no touching' message be applauded and supported? Should the one's exercising rights to touch others when they want to be applauded and supported? Turmeric Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 I hear that in the Vatican there is a statue of St. Peter where the big toe has been wore down on this alleged first pope just by the touching of tender lips, [not sand paper] a lot of touching going on there. Then there are the ring kissers among leadership going on in all church settings, so that is more lips engaged in touching, Then in Adventism there is this constant playing footsie with the world, or of the faithful being “booted” out of church for defending bible doctrine, this is where the foot is engaged in TOUCHING. Then the right HAND of fellowship is extended to the likes of Oral Roberts to occupy the pulpits of Loma Linda while displaying a clench FIST to any brother with present truth from even speaking in one of the class rooms in the basement . Then there is a lot of TOUCHING going on in this women ordination because the pliable Aaron’s in the church have already shook HANDS behind closed doors to create chaos and to fragment the church more and more even to the breaking point. I agree with Friends about this holding hands in a circle of how degrading it is to a Christian to suffer through those TOUCHING encounter where one is forced into complying or stick out like a sore thumb. Now Tumeric mentioned this grooming that monkey do, I see nothing wrong with that going on among humans at all with in the family circle! But that is all!! Now in certain times of the year in the Southern states where working in clearing land, the tick problem is no fun at all, then one will accept all the touching/grooming/inspecting they can get. If Loma Linda had been successful in inserting Baboon parts into human years ago we would probably see these creatures doing more touching/grooming than we do now, even putting both hands to anyone [within arms reach] and parting there hair searching for... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Bravus Posted September 28, 2004 Moderators Share Posted September 28, 2004 I'm very comfortable shaking hands with, or hugging if they prefer, anyone I know - welcoming hugs are kind of standard at our church, although anyone who chooses to can definitely refrain with no embarrassment. Sue and I are always touching if we're out together, holding hands or with our arms around each other as we walk, and the kids know better than to get between us. The girls will still hold hands with us when they walk with us, even as they're getting older. I'm not the guy who initiates touch with others in the workplace or whatever, but I'm very comfortable with having someone rest their hand on my shoulder or whatever. I think the point that has been raised above - that everyone is different and we should honour and, indeed, celebrate that - is important. We can get into a place where cultural expressions - especially ones in flux, like switching from shaking hands to hugging - become a marker, and if you don't embrace (pun intended) the new paradigm you're not part of the club any more. So touchers, be sensitive, and sensitives, be tolerant! Quote Truth is important Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Ok...time for an industrial strength post.. With the way times are now and from what I have read in history about affluent decadent societies.. Check this out.. 1 Cor 16 "20": All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss. Well, in the times after Paul..there had to be church counsel about this issue....about the "saints" taking too long with the kiss and the counsel to keep the mouth closed... go figure.. Now people have to be tuned into proper hug posture..you have to lean in and bend from the waist so that you don't press against the breasts of the women and offend them.. and don't take too long..because the romance addicts will get aroused... I can understand how some in these days are like Geraldine.. with all of the sexual abuse going on and the news about priests in some denominations.. Shake hands, hold hands, hug???? Let the church issue Teddy bears.... as far as the kissing...??? I will kiss, my wife, at home, in private... Even Dear Abbey had a recent article about how there is this pseudo romantic junk about spouses in politics.. It is just more forced fellowship compensation to counter the loss of real intimacy due to the spiritual famine promoted by TYPICAL TOPICAL SERMONS. (low scripture exposure) The religious leaders have lost the vision...and the church is satisfied to be one religious friendly social club... I hear that people come to certain churches because they are "friendly"..that seems to be the passing grade criteria... ANYBODY KNOW ABOUT THE NCD (natural church developement) criteria??? Look at what is on TV now..soft porn... as Rickey Nelson sang.... FOOLS RUSH IN.... ROM 12:2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Ed...thumbs up for your post.... now I didn't touch you with my thumb...we clear on that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 I just remembered the shaking hands experience this sabbath... I am one who will get out of the pew and go to others to shake hands...have to because the pews are so empty..(TYPICAL TOPICAL SERMONS!!).then I look at some who seem to feel uncomfortable and don't even smile when I shake their hands and I wonder if they are ones who disagree with this event for some reason..I have heard they say this is disruptive to the worship service..whatever...I know some are...so I ended up putting them through an uncomfortable experience.. I know there are pluses to this event..for visitors who get no reinforcement or attention... Maybe we ought to suggest Geraldine stickers for the UNTOUCHABLES...like Elliot Ness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cricket Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Put the stickers on the touchables! Stick it to yourselves, not to others! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Now there is a logical /common sense reply if ever I have seen one!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aka Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Jim, my laughter is genuine and it comes quick and delightful when I read your texts. It is not a laughter from entertainment kneejerk but from recognition of what is there in our church member's condition but few have the guts to speak out about. However, along comes you two guys. I am actually enjoying you and WhiteEd because of your common bond of seeing church religiousity but them having no power employed for orthodoxy of the right kind. I too, know well the sad frustration of confronting the stereo-type Laodicians, phoney pseudo christians of the feeble type and dangerous leadership of the carnal type in my area of Church. You, JB, can phrase in such a way that touches the situation with derisional sneering close to borderline sardonic mockery. WhiteEd has a quieter variety but the same root condition. I see that both of you guys are protesting the awful conditions of present spiritual corruption within our ranks which grips so many in their religious habits within our churches and groups of leadership. Yes, the Seventh-day Adventist standard has been insidiously lowered. We are selling ourselves out to Babylon's ways. The sifting is taking place now and slowly a polarization of the Great Conflict is appearing with who's on which side emerging with sharper contours. Could the element of satisfaction with Jesus be missing in both you guys lives? Could it be that the joy of your salvation is dampened with the burden of wanting to wake up the sleeping one's? I really don't know. I have no answers. I acknowledge that you guys are poled rightly and on track. But a vital element is missing that I can't rightly put my finger on so that the postmodern new-theology celebrationist liberals among the reader-ship could get that right spark to reform and be renewed in the spirit of the mind of Christ. We all want everyone who has called upon the name of the Lord to be chosen by the Lord after they have gone through the investigation of their lives. I don't have the answer how those ones in lukewarm to cold state of Faith life are to change radically. I know it is a work of God's Spirit. But there is a effort of the will on the part of the one changing as well. A new habit of right choosing. Only a vision of what Jesus wants will have any effect, I believe. Not sarcasim or mockering others for not making the grade. Turmeric Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Turmeric, Thanks for the post... As you know there are pew potato, spectators who view these threads..and they leave no clues as to the local/personal relevancy of the post or their personal reaction...sooo..I just post these obnoxious, sarcastic, abrasive words as reality checks/wake up calls to those who are not yet in a spiritual coma. As far as what I do in person...at church... I tone done that approach and share much of God's word in class as possible..because His word has power to change lives..(2 Cor 3:18, Jn 17:17..etc) The reason the church is so messed up..is that the CLERGY...minimize the exposure of God's word and thus defeat that action and by indirect influence...set a BAD example for others to do the same...minimize God's word in their lives. PUKE!!!!! GC execs and MINISTERIAL DIRECTORS..take note. I hope some are touchy about this out there...even their toes.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Quote: I just remembered the shaking hands experience this sabbath... I am one who will get out of the pew and go to others to shake hands...have to because the pews are so empty..(TYPICAL TOPICAL SERMONS!!).then I look at some who seem to feel uncomfortable and don't even smile when I shake their hands and I wonder if they are ones who disagree with this event for some reason..I have heard they say this is disruptive to the worship service..whatever...I know some are...so I ended up putting them through an uncomfortable experience.. I know there are pluses to this event..for visitors who get no reinforcement or attention... Maybe we ought to suggest Geraldine stickers for the UNTOUCHABLES...like Elliot Ness ================= Brother i read you WRONG here when you said these words. "I know there are pluses to this event..for visitors who get no reinforcement or attention..." ======================== I first thought if you were TOUCHING people on their wrist to see if their heart was even beating [being in a dead church & all] but no, the word you used was "pluses" not pulse. But brother the solution for a cold church is to bring your own fire! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Quote: Could the element of satisfaction with Jesus be missing in both you guys lives? Could it be that the joy of your salvation is dampened with the burden of wanting to wake up the sleeping one's? I really don't know. I am not totally sure either. I listen to my Baptist pastor friend preach as good as or better than my former pastor in the 70's and then listen to SDA preachers who have no clue or vision on what their pulpit job description is...and think of the pew potatos getting non fat dry milk messages and going out the door week after week and get slaughtered by the system of the world...then they come back and I know they don't look at their SS lesson and are like Charlie Brown....maybe Lucy(the preacher ) will hold the football this time when I run up and kick it (preach a competent sermon)...and then Lucy pulls the football out of the way again as usual..and the pew potato end up on their back and backslide again.. of course this does not happen by the large institutional SDA think tank areas like Andrews, Loma Linda, or the other seminaries.....nahh.. He touched me...oh yes He touched me... others will say..he's touched Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Tagging on here ... I can't believe what I'm seeing. Someone starts a thread asking whether or not we like or dislike being touched, with (as far as I can tell) no other motive than to start a conversation and invite all to participate and share their feelings, and now we have an active propagandizing afoot to tarbrush anyone who didn't recoil in abject disgust at the thought of a human hand as being some kind of latent sex fiend or lukewarm phony Christian??? What the $&%#* have you people been smoking? You know, it would never have occurred to me to pass a blanket judgment on either those who said "yes, a friendly touch doesn't bother me" or "no, I hate to be touched at all by people outside my family" one way or the other. I guess I'm just a stupid, blind, naive idiot who thought we were simply having a nice friendly conversation about nothing more nor less than personal preferences about social contact. Boy was I wrong. You gotta watch EVERYTHING in this place, don't you. You never know when the daggers are going to emerge from behind the cloaks. What's next, folks -- a scheme for validating or invalidating everyone based on whether they prefer puppies to kittens or vice versa? Whence comes this poison is all I want to know. If you've personally had a bad experience in your life with "bad touch" or people being "too familiar" that's one thing. I've had times where people touched me and I was totally repulsed by it and it had nothing to do with sex or libido, I just didn't like that particular person encroaching that far on my space. But to extend from there into a prohibitive propaganda machine designed to slam your brethren and sisters who don't mind innocent, "platonic" physical contact as part of their friendship or bonding experience with other people? That's just way over the top and over the line as far as I'm concerned. And here I thought I was "unshockable". Well blow me down -- you learn something new every day! Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Gail Posted September 28, 2004 Author Administrators Share Posted September 28, 2004 After I posted the question, I thought that maybe I should have made a poll I found it interesting that many people just do not like to be touched (except for the Italians, of course) I thought that the need to touch others as you talk to them had something to do with personality as well. I can fully understand a person with a wounded history not liking it Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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