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Touchy Feely


Gail

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Hey Nico,

How about a verbal hug. You are one of my favourite writers on this forum. I am new and don't really know all of the relational nuances, but I love your style, and find you to be insightful. The bursts of emotion make you more real, and far more interesting. (could there be some Italian in there?) I believe you are a person who would be fun to know.

Stay cool.

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So... do you think we are all comfortable enough with each other for a BIG GROUP HUG???

smile.gif


==========================

I'm ready on two conditions, no three! NO garlic breath! Single file only, no standing in a circle, we will leave that ritual for the Wicaans! No make up that has been applied with a puddy knife it could crash with my shaving cream.

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Mamma mia, JimBob,

A good marinara sauce? perhaps we should start a food thread. I love to delve into various cultures and find food to be one of the most enjoyable cultural things. Korean, Vietnamese, Punjab, Thai, Lebanese, Greek, Ethiopian, South African, Belizian, Guatemalan, Etc. Some day I intend to do a food tasting tour of the world.

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Mamma mia, JimBob,

A good marinara sauce? perhaps we should start a food thread. I love to delve into various cultures and find food to be one of the most enjoyable cultural things. Korean, Vietnamese, Punjab, Thai, Lebanese, Greek, Ethiopian, South African, Belizian, Guatemalan, Etc. Some day I intend to do a food tasting tour of the world.


Maybe one can do this in New York city....of course for some of these places...I would hope they can substitute vege-dog,vege-rat, or vege-warthog in the entree...

BTW readers this is an example of how a thread can digress...especially with as many times zones we got...I am late for my lunch and some are about to get up in the Eastern Hemisphere and drink their vege-coffee and have stripples and eggs

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OK I am your token Italian. wink.gif I haven't been to an Italian SDA Church, and I doubt I could find an Italian SDA within 250 miles of me.

So for all you huggers and non huggers let me give you a preview of how the other side lives. Mind you all the Italians in my family are Catholic shocked.gif(oh no let the cat out of the bag); but having just spent a week with them (them meaning parents,cousins, grandma, uncles, and aunts we claim relatives to the 3rd and 4th cousins) I have had my fill of the things I really miss.

Upon entering a room the required greeting for everyone is a hug and a kiss. I think it is some unwritten rule. There isn't even a 2nd thought to what you do because it is in your very being. Having been raised that way it is 2nd nature, and if I offend you by touching you, please realize that in my family the offense would be for not hugging and kissing you when seeing you.

I hope this clears up the Italian thing.

Sincerely,

K

your Italian expert grin.gif

Proverbs 15:15

He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.

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JimBob7 in his usual cordial way wrote:

Quote:

Expectations are linked to perspective..and with 23 posts you have a limited one..


Right in character, aren't you ... as though the number of posts I have written is all I have read.

Oh well ... chalk up one more confirmation of expectation.

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Heh, quality vs quantity - I'd stack Bille's thoughtful 24 up against my {adjective of your choice} close to 200 any day... And the Way of the Lurker is underestimated, on forums and in Real Life ™. wink.gif

Truth is important

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K

Did you ever see the stage play "Oklahoma"? Was there some lines in there about an Italian good-by given to the girl that "couldn't say no"? This Italian good-by was kinda stand-off-ish in the "touchy" deparment compaired to the "Oklahoma Hello"

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JimBob7 in his usual cordial way wrote:
Quote:

Expectations are linked to perspective..and with 23 posts you have a limited one..


Right in character, aren't you ... as though the number of posts I have written is all I have read.

Oh well ... chalk up one more confirmation of expectation.


Uh oh... blush.gif

Bille..do you have a sister named Shirley..sometimes called Mopsie..?

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I miss Mopsie...

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

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Hi "friends" -- thanks for your kind words. I look forward to getting to know you better on the forum as well. I don't believe there's either Italian or Irish in my family, though who knows what all lies in the Heinz-57-quarter of my blood. (1/4 this, 1/4 that, 1/4 this, and 1/4 "Heinz-57"). anyway, a verbal hug will do just fine. smile.gif

"After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot
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Long story, Bille. I'll PM you...

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

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I played in the band one summer when the local college did Oklahoma. I don't remember that line ever. I'll bet the edited for my predominately Italian community ooo.gif

K

Proverbs 15:15

He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.

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OK OK I confess. My attention was not on the play. There was a certain trumpet player. . .enough said.

I do remember Brigadoon and Fiddler a little better. grin.gif

k

Proverbs 15:15

He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.

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...and when I saw Oklahoma! at a competing High School, I recall there being a certain cowboy in chaps...
shocked.gif


===================

I rest my case, a Oklahoma hello is better, even more touchy than a Italian good-by.

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Nicodema, I like outspoken people who plainly say what they think without beating around the bush. When I read your posts, even though I don't always agree with you, I often think to myself "I like this woman." And I am not ashamed to say it in public.

**********

Back to the topic of touching, just because someone doesn't like to touch or be touched when they talk doesn't mean they are a hands-off person.

I do not like to be touched by strangers, and I will not hug a man near my own age who is not a close relative, or such a close friend that I think of him as almost a brother, but I hug my women friends regularly, special male friends of a different generation sometimes, and my adult children and my granddaughter often, hold my husband or granddaughter's hand when we walk together, etc.

Conversation is different, probably because I am an intensely focused person, or maybe because I am visual instead of auditory (or maybe both). If I'm focused on verbal exchange, touch is a distraction that breaks my concentration. And if my concentration gets broken, I have to mentally start all over again from the beginning, and review everything that has been said in my mind, until I get caught back up to where we were. Light conversation is different, but I don't actually like to talk, so seldom get involved in that kind of conversation.

When I play with my 4-year-old granddaughter, she talks my ear off, and can touch me all she wants.

Catherine

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26.

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." -- C. S. Lewis

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I used to work for a company where they had a group worship on Monday morning. All the employees gathered in a circle while someone gave a devotional, and then they all held hands for prayer. After that was over several minutes were spent hugging each other. If I showed up, I would slip out before prayer. The holding hands part was way more than I could tolerate.


I think that that kind of more or less forced touching -- as in group prayer at the beginning of the day in a Christian company -- demonstrates exactly the opposite of what genuine touch is intended to convey. To me such a practice lacks sensitivity to differing needs and comfort levels of individuals. And I question "several minutes" spent "hugging each other" in the context of a Christian work atmosphere. It does seem inappropriate, at the least. In fact, the whole thing seems sort of exclusionary in that everyone not comfortable with that kind of touch would be automatically excluded. I can see that it could also generate all sorts of problems ... as in who stands next to whom to hold hands, hugs, etc. ... especially with both men and women working in the same place. ...

I have taught in a couple of Christian schools where we began the day with prayer. I found the atmosphere in the non-Adventist school to be actually warmer and more caring than in the Adventist school, but we did not hold hands in either place!

"Worship Him who made the heaven and the earth and sea and springs of water." Rev. 14:7

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