Women aren't attracted to men.

[Neil D]

I found this intreging. not sure that it is ...agreeable ...with the females here...

So, guys, whatcha think here...

and girls, while I am interested in the female point of view, I suspect that your opinion would be ...um a bit negitive...that is against this view point... Is the writer right?

why is he wrong?

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Date: 2007-10-18, 7:04PM EDT

Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive.

Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is--how many "cool," "exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.

They are interested in how other people view him--how many people want to be around him, how other people interact with him and whether their interactions convey that he is special and amazing. They want him to be extremely outgoing and aggressive, they want him to demonstrate his status over other people by dominating them in various non-violent ways.

A woman's attraction to a man is a function of her jealousy at the thought of another woman having that man. She doesn't care who he actually is or EXACTLY what he looks like physically, she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself.

A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute. Although that sounds vulgar, it's true. She trades her physical self to buy into the success a man has created for himself.

As a man, I fall in love with how a woman is physically. I fall in love with simple parts of a woman. Like the way her hair falls around her face, the line of her neck, her shoulders. They way her ears might peek from her hair. Her eyelashes. The size and shape of her hands, her fingernails. The way she walks, the way she looks when she is tired or annoyed, the sound she makes when she sneezes, coughs, or cries. The way she sits in a chair. The way she breathes while experiencing different emotions. The way her lips move. A million little things.

Sure, a huge part of my attraction is mental, but the powerful seed of love that builds within me and crystallizes is based greatly on visual things that set off torrents of emotion and need.

It seems to me that women almost cannot think for themselves. Their estimates of worth are based on other peoples' estimates of worth. They don't really find an object beautiful on their own. The object becomes beautiful when other people let her know that it is beautiful.

I'm completely unable to reconcile the differences between men and women. It seems like success with women is equal to spending half of your life working to create a giant illusion, something vastly tiring and annoying, while sacrificing your own true self and your own interests. We construct our lives around nest-building. We're like male birds building nests and showing them off to attract mates. It's pathetic. Everything we do is to get women. It is a poor deal.

Someone needs to invent a drug which has no hormonal imbalance side-effects but is able to erase a man's sex drive and attraction to women. It would increase productivity rates to incredible heights. I'd be free and happy. I'd feel complete. I'd be able to concentrate on my biochemistry studying.

[Nan]

If you believed in the evolutionary view point, I guess that the study of the bowerbird would be an interesting off shoot from this.

(And if you guys want to learn the secrets of the bower bird, you can go google!!!)

[Amelia]

Sounds like a very bitter young man who's had bad experiences.

[Beryl]

Yep!!! He is bitter over something (or is that "someone"?)

[Denise]

Wow, is he really bitter and thinking way off!

[John317]

Of course women are attracted to men, but there is truth in the statement that the basis of the attraction is different for males than for females.

Sex is in the brain, and obviously the male and female brains are wired differently. Females are generally attracted to males for different reasons than males are attracted to females. While the male is very often attracted sexually to the female on the basis of the body alone, the attraction of the female for the male is based on many more complex issues, such as security, romance, etc. The desire for sexual intercourse is usually not high on the list of the reasons for the female to choose a particular mate, whereas for the male, it rates much higher on the list of reasons he chooses a mate. (This is not to say it is the only or even the top reason for either of them.)

[LynnDel]

Some of that is true, but the poor little guy who wrote it needs a shoulder to cry on.

That "women aren't attracted to men" is only true in what was later qualified: We are not necessarily attracted to men for their bodies, which is a good thing for most men (ahem).

I think most of us women recognize that God gave us females (in general) a more attractive physique than He gave the general run of men. No big deal. Since women typically identify ourselves very closely with our men, it is no wonder that how the man relates to others and what others think of him is important to us. That isn't any more shallow than the man's typical focus on our physical dimensions, is it?

Man looketh on the outward appearance; woman looketh on the heart - and the amount of security offered her.

[Neil D]

John said-

Quote:

.... Females are generally attracted to males for different reasons than males are attracted to females. While the male is very often attracted sexually to the female on the basis of the body alone, the attraction of the female for the male is based on many more complex issues, such as security, romance, etc. The desire for sexual intercourse is usually not high on the list of the reasons for the female to choose a particular mate, whereas for the male, it rates much higher on the list of reasons he chooses a mate. (This is not to say it is the only or even the top reason for either of them.)

So then you would generally agree that the main poster who says that women will attach themselves to men based upon security. The higher the feeling of security for the woman, the easier it is for the woman to fall in love....So in essence, security is love for the woman...right?

Lynndell said-

Quote:

That "women aren't attracted to men" is only true in what was later qualified: We are not necessarily attracted to men for their bodies, which is a good thing for most men (ahem).

For some us guys, that is a definate plus!!! But nevertheless, I still have it on good order that women do look, and that info came from SEVERAL different non-connected sources...

Quote:

Since women typically identify ourselves very closely with our men, it is no wonder that how the man relates to others and what others think of him is important to us. That isn't any more shallow than the man's typical focus on our physical dimensions, is it?

Status is also important??? So, the richer a man is, and the more influence he has, the more you [women] would be attracted to him....right?

OOooo...pity the older couple who has lost both thier looks and their wealth to health care...What would constitue thier being together then?

[LynnDel]

Fortunate are those older couples who remain together for decades, until death doth them part. My dad (age 80) is an example; he often says, "My wife is only 22," meaning he remembers the infatuation he had with Mom back then, when he first laid eyes on her, and he maintains it to this day. Ain't that sweet?

A long, committed relationship has little to do with looks and health and wealth. Someone thought of that when they wrote the traditional marriage vows, "to love and cherish from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health."

[Stan]

So that's why they have such a great daughter!!

[cricket]

Wow. Physical appearance has no bearing whatsoever as to whom I'm most attracted--be it male, female, or otherwise. Only kindness matters in the end.

[LynnDel]

Ummm

Don't we have a blushing smilie?

Hmmm...

[monica]

Physical appearance has no bearing whatsoever as to whom I'm most attracted--be it male, female, or otherwise.

Are you male or female? :R It's not clear from what you wrote.

[Amelia]

Cricket is female

[Amelia]

Quote:

Don't we have a blushing smilie?

Thought we did. Guess I'll have to go out and scrounge one up.

[Neil D]

Fortunate are those older couples who remain together for decades, until death doth them part. My dad (age 80) is an example; he often says, "My wife is only 22," meaning he remembers the infatuation he had with Mom back then, when he first laid eyes on her, and he maintains it to this day. Ain't that sweet?

A long, committed relationship has little to do with looks and health and wealth. Someone thought of that when they wrote the traditional marriage vows, "to love and cherish from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health."

I guess I don't understand, Lynndell...If you are attempting to make a point counter to the origional point, I am not sure what it was....What the origional poster said was that men are the only ones who could be considered to be "smitten" by love [aka the physical attraction] and your father furthered cemented that claim by ...um...lying [?]... in his old age...Now,before you get all defensive on me, don't get me wrong,....It was a "cute lie" and one that many will forgive and overlook and even foster among the aged, according to the philosphy/spirit of the origional poster,,,,

....But can that be maintained? Is this a realistic view point? Obviously, it is not flattering to the women, if a realistic viewpoint......And I, personally, would not want it to be true....

But, conservatively speaking...one could take this viewpoint and rationalize it a bit.....and even say that it is true....Is this how God made men and women to act?

[Dr. Shane]

Well, a woman's good looks will fade and a man's fat wallet... will normally grow fatter. So if men are attracted to women by looks and women attracted to men for security... women are obviously getting the better deal.

As Christians we need to be a little less superficial than that. It is fair that a woman look for a man that will be able to provide for her and their children. However she needs a man that will help her grow closer to Christ as he needs a woman that will do the same.

[Amelia]

A man with a fat wallet can buy a womans good looks.

[Guest surfin.grandma]

If I was looking to marry again, the basis of my choice in a man would have nothing to do with his looks or his money - both of which he could egotistically get lost in. I would be looking more for physical and emotional safety and security. Money and status mean absolutely nothing to me. I have found that sometimes the less of both a person has - either male or female - the better person they are. When your money, job or status define who you are, then there's really nothing there to interest me. Been there, done that - don't want to go back!!

Martha

[Neil D]

Quote:

If I was looking to marry again, the basis of my choice in a man would have nothing to do with his looks or his money - both of which he could egotistically get lost in

Hmmmmm....this is the 2nd post that you have shared with us that I have been gratified to read... There just might be another basis for Christians to married if they desire...

Quote:

I have found that sometimes the less of both a person has - either male or female - the better person they are

Hehehehehe...ya think!??!?!?!?!!!

And some of us don't have much to begin with...So we ought to be very ....um..rich..or..er ...wealthy.... just doesn't seem that way in real life....

[John317]

John said-

Quote:

.... Females are generally attracted to males for different reasons than males are attracted to females. While the male is very often attracted sexually to the female on the basis of the body alone, the attraction of the female for the male is based on many more complex issues, such as security, romance, etc. The desire for sexual intercourse is usually not high on the list of the reasons for the female to choose a particular mate, whereas for the male, it rates much higher on the list of reasons he chooses a mate. (This is not to say it is the only or even the top reason for either of them.)

The reasons women attach themselves to a man are generally far more complex than the reasons a man attaches himself to a woman. It's safe to say that security is certainly higher on the list for most women than it is for men. While the issues of love and romance for a woman involve more than security, they are all interrelated.

[Nan]

Ladies, how much credence do we give to the explanations for our actions originating with the males? Are they qualified to give an opinion?? :S

[Amelia]

NO!

[John317]

Ladies, how much credence do we give to the explanations for our actions originating with the males? Are they qualified to give an opinion?? :S

These are not merely my personal opinions but are largely the result of studying books written by female psychologists. For instance, see a very interesting book entitled, Brain Sex, which concerns the differences between the male and female brain, based on recent scientific studies of the development of the brain, studies on twins, and on children whose gender has been changed.

[Neil D]

Ladies, how much credence do we give to the explanations for our actions originating with the males? Are they qualified to give an opinion?? :S

So am I in the dog house for bringing this up and offering it as discussion?

[please note, I have not given much of an PERSONAL opinion as yet....but I am having LOADS of fun defending the origional thesis ....and am interested in everyone's opinion...male AND FEmale...]

And your reasons, again Nan, for women attaching themselves to men was....? Surely, you, a doctor, should be able to qualify and quantify those factors, being a scientist and all....?

LOL