What the real trouble is...

[FoundByLove]

Um, since I was gone for about 5 or so months, could someone update me on this honey business?

Thanks ^_^

[Woody]

Neil is a bee keeper.

[LynnDel]

Thank you, FBL, for posting that. I'm glad your readers got past the detective activities and actually considered what you wrote. I read most of it this morning while I was considering getting up and facing the day, and I thought it was excellent.

[FoundByLove]

Thank you, FBL, for posting that. I'm glad your readers got past the detective activities and actually considered what you wrote. I read most of it this morning while I was considering getting up and facing the day, and I thought it was excellent.

Awwe I'm so glad what I posted made a difference I really was nervous about it, 'cause it seems like a lot of people are so afraid of getting hurt in this life that they never learn how to deal with it when it does happen, and I figured some people here would be all "Well, we're supposed to not hurt each other, or get hurt either, especially in Christian settings where we're supposed to have morals and values and courtesy and all these social rules and and and..." Thing is, we're all human, and everyone messes up, sometimes royally and badly, at one time or another. So, what are we going to do about it? Get all flustered and in a huff, and take back our friendships, etc? Or try to act like mature adults once in awhile and learn how to communicate effectively with each other after stupid things happen? Honestly, I wish good communication skills were a top priority in our evangelism -- things would go a lot more smoothly for so many more of us in this Walk if we were to really study out how to effectively deal with ourselves and others who've hurt us. Just parroting Matt. 5 from the pulpit isn't really enough anymore. Our society as a whole is far too complex for us to try to live like that without having any serious idea of how to actually live by all those great ideals as we live our complicated lives, and not just say "Well, I wish I knew how to live that way, but I really don't."

Anyway, I'm tempted to write a "Christian Communication" handbook, but, erm, I'm still new to this stuff myself Actually, that whole list of things is stuff I didn't know even 2 weeks ago. It's just that after I nearly lost the best friendship I ever had after he hurt me really bad and I freaked out and ran away..., I really took a hard look at myself, at that friend, at how he does things in his life toward me and others... And I really started to realize what I was doing wrong and what I could start learning to do to fix how I approach people who've hurt me. I love that friend so much, and I'll admit, it was that love that was the incentive for me to really look this whole thing square in the nose, stare it down, and then let it stare me down. If this had just been some average person from some local church, someone who I didn't have any serious ties to outside of church, the truth is, I wouldn't have cared enough to bother to really think about it too much. I would have just said, "Well, enough is enough, and it's clear to me that he doesn't love me or want the friendship, so, well, goodbye." As it was, I still ran away, but I kind of left things hanging with him until I was ready, several weeks later, to pick up the baton again and start communicating with him on a decent level. I had to let my anger simmer down first, and that really did take some serious time. That can be an important thing to do.

I finally understand one more thing. Jesus said to "Love one another." From the heart, and also, with the intent of really being involved in enjoying spending our lives together. I'm realizing that the point of Believers sticking with Believers has only somewhat to do with passing on faith and Christan traditions and so forth. Mostly, I realize now, it has to do with forming healthy relationships with unhealthy people (remember, it's the sick who need Help, not the well), and none of us are perfect, so we should all do our best to learn to live with each other and not ax each other just because of offenses that we perceive to be such. We're in this thing together, for better or worse, and it's how we each choose to treat others that let's the world know we are His, because that is love, to treat each other right and effectively under pressure (and on the good days too )

[FoundByLove]

Neil is a bee keeper.

Thanks :)

[FoundByLove]

For posterity's sake, I want to post something here that I wrote to a friend last night which has brought me much healing:

"I realize now what love is. It's not always thinking of someone first, catering to their selfishness, giving them everything they want even if they have every right and reason to want it and even if it's a good thing, because sometimes we don't know what others want or how to give it to them, or sometimes we just don't have what others want, and sometimes, we really do have bouts of selfishness (and a lot of that has to do with our own neediness). Love is when one person accepts another person the way they truly are, for better or worse, for who they are as a complete person, for what they offer, whatever that is, good or bad, and love is patient while asking for things that are wanted and understanding about it when those requests can't be made good on. Love doesn't take it personally or as a punishment when things don't go the way a person wanted them to, when they aren't even given what they asked for, much less what they deserved that was good, but it understands that there are other forces at work that sometimes win out even if that's not always right, and Love lives independently of how a person gets treated. Love keeps on Loving - He doesn't withdraw or punish others for doing things differently than He wanted them to. He isn't controlled by anyone like that, He just keeps on Loving and Inviting you in. He understands that people aren't always going to get it right, even after being Asked: He's ok with that, and says, "Ok, you can go do what you want, even if you're acting like you don't Love Me -- I'll still be here for you and Love you, Forever. I choose you, always." And He keeps on Asking us to do things that show we Love Him when we do Love Him, in hopes that sometimes, we will, so He can enjoy the Relationships together with us that we have with Him."

God bless everyone. And to all, a happy Sabbath :)