K Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 1. NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. 2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. 3. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. 4. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 37. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 5. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 6. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. 7. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 8. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 9. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. 10. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 11. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 12. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. 13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. AND FINALLY... A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." Quote Proverbs 15:15 He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMAN Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 "Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing". ________________________________________________________________________________________ AMEN !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted November 24, 2004 Author Share Posted November 24, 2004 Quote: [:"blue"]2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. [/] This was my favorite because it is true. K Quote Proverbs 15:15 He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted November 24, 2004 Administrators Share Posted November 24, 2004 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> Priceless!! Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Posted November 2, 2005 Share Posted November 2, 2005 ***bump*** because it is funny Quote If you receive benefit to being here please help out with expenses. https://www.paypal.me/clubadventist Administrator of a few websites like https://adventistdating.com  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Gail Posted November 2, 2005 Administrators Share Posted November 2, 2005 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> 11. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> This reminds me of my single days... My girlfriend and I went to watch the appearance of Mars with the astronomy club of our town Walking from telescope to telescope, I asked her if she thought that the astronomy club would be a good place to pick up guys. She said, "No- they probably don't look as good in the morning." Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amelia Posted November 2, 2005 Share Posted November 2, 2005 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> 8. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> Oh please, I could easily find a way to spend it all. <img src="/ubbtreads/images/graemlins/hoppy.gif" alt="" /> Quote <p><span style="color:#0000FF;"><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">"Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you."</span></span> Eph 4:29</span><br><br><img src="http://banners.wunderground.com/weathersticker/gizmotimetemp_both/US/OR/Fairview.gif" alt="Fairview.gif"> Fairview Or</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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