Moderators Jeannieb43 Posted June 23, 2008 Moderators Share Posted June 23, 2008 I have recently moved. I have a friend in the area...and while that is well and good, I need NEW friends...otherwise, I feel that I will begin to die from loneliness...and I hate being alone... When I go to church, I have no way to make friends, no activity unless I speak up in 'bible class' and if I do, I either cause a controversy or an arguement and I am trying very hard to get away from that. I need someone to talk to....I am NOT a pathfinder person, nor am I musically inclined. I am the average person who visits the SDA church. Ok, group, here is your challenge....Let's pretend that I am coming to your church out of the blue. HOW do I come into YOUR life? How do I get to become aquainted with YOU? How do I know and become known in YOUR church? Neil, my plan is to carefully observe the various church attenders for a few weeks, and then to invite two or three of the ones who seem interesting over for a simple Sabbath lunch at my house. Now I know you just moved, and you maybe don't cook much -- but the very best way, IMHO, is to warm up a can of soup, make a lettuce and tomato salad, get some good bread, and serve this. Nobody needs a huge meal! [Dear Abby used to say It's what you put on your chairs, not what you put on your table, that makes a successful dinner party.] The small number makes it more intimate, and everybody gets a chance to talk, that way. It's the conversation, and the fellowship, that counts. No problem if you happen onto a few people who don't "click" with you -- I'll bet those people will still seek you out each week to greet you personally in church. Because they will feel like your FRIENDS!! And if you do this several different times -- warning them in advance the meal will be soup and salad -- they can accept your invitation or not; but I'll be willing to bet that they will latch onto the chance to get acquainted, and to see where you live. It's so nice to invite people over when you have just moved in, because there's a REASON for boxes to be stacked up on the living room! [Now for me, where I've lived for 36 years, I don't have that excuse!] People will expect you not to be settled -- and they'll enjoy having a chance to chat and find out more about you. But mainly, they'll enjoy talking about themselves! [Ask questions such as "Did you ever imagine, back when you were five years old, that you'd be working in the business you're in now when you grew up?" etc. It always starts people to talking.] Good luck. Be yourself. Be interested in other people. You'll soon find you have some good new friends! Quote Jeannie<br /><br /><br />...Change is inevitable; growth is optional.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Corson Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Thanks for the welcome. It goes back a long time to SDAnet with Neil. I still refuse to pay for what should be free so I am restricted to certain areas here. Jeannie has a good idea but it does not work for many of us. My wife does not want people over unless the house is very well kept up, but we both work and that is not too often. I think most people are like that today, at least those with both spouses working. I have been in this area, going to two local churches one for two and half years (2 years on my own going to church about every other Sabbath going home the other weekend) the other for 3 and have yet to be asked over to someone's house for a sabbath dinner. Of course there are 5 in our family and just the logistics of an additional 5 people can make most dining rooms overflow. It was a great thing to do in the past but does not seem to work so well today for many, certainly some people can still do it and that is great. I think what I will try and do is suggest to our SS leader that our class begins having a monthly meal together at our fellowship hall. Maybe other classes will pick up on the idea. I would not use the term potluck because it would be better to plan a menu and assign people what they want to bring. Thus you get them to commit to coming as well as create a more planed menu. My experience has been that most every good thing that happens in a church happens by a small group of people putting in some time and thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 I am curious, if it should be free who should pay the union advertising, google ads, the various domain names, servers, software licensing and support etc etc. I tried clicking my heals together, closing my eyes and wishing, I saw that done once on TV, that did not work. Quote If you receive benefit to being here please help out with expenses. https://www.paypal.me/clubadventist Administrator of a few websites like https://adventistdating.com  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woody Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Great Comments and suggestions Ron. Thanks. Would love to have you bite the bullet and pay the $3.50 . Come on ... put the pride aside and just do it. Just skip that one extra cup of coffee per month and that would do it. Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology. Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olger Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Ron drinks coffee ?? Quote "Please don't feed the drama queens.." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Corson Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 I am curious, if it should be free who should pay the union advertising, google ads, the various domain names, servers, software licensing and support etc etc. I tried clicking my heals together, closing my eyes and wishing, I saw that done once on TV, that did not work. Hmm, interesting how many other Adventists discussion sites charge monthly or yearly fees. I can't think of any can you? And if those advertisers on this site aren't paying you something you are doing something wrong. I would probably even donate to a good forum, but pay for use...not so much. Ah for the good old days when I first signed up here. By the way I don't drink coffee, but I do waste money, so it is more the principle of the thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 the advertisers on the right are free... Everything is fine... there is no obligation and there are a lot of forums you can post in.. Paying a token amount has proven to keep the nuttier kind away.. you may remember some of them earlier.. Totally free posters, are often the kind who post slanderous things under fake names without any accountability. They have put some of the other owners of forums at risk for the slander they have posted.. I do appreciate that you identify who you are.. Quote If you receive benefit to being here please help out with expenses. https://www.paypal.me/clubadventist Administrator of a few websites like https://adventistdating.com  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 BUT let's get back to the topic on here.. Quote If you receive benefit to being here please help out with expenses. https://www.paypal.me/clubadventist Administrator of a few websites like https://adventistdating.com  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil D Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Ok, went to church yesterday.... sigh.....I gotta be one of the most critical people I know...sigh.... this church that I am going to is soooooo .....weird... Let's start with that time in church where people get up to greet others in the church. "happy Sabbath" is all you get... there is no "Hi. what's your name? My name is....Nice to meet you." And then there is 4 people who are singing, two play guitar of which one is an electric guitar. You can hear the electric real well. And they all sing soooooo sloooooooow.....4x4 time is too fast for the church. ... and when they sing into the mic, they sing at right angles to the direction the mic is. The result is that if you are not on top of the mic, we don't hear you. So, like robins bobbing back and forth, you hear them intermittantly. If they were rythmic bobbing, that would be entertaining, I think. But they are so stoic and non-moving... And they are singing pathfinder camp songs ....slowly.. And my biggest pet peeve is when they tell you what to do..."Now is the time when we give back to the Lord...." Now is time for church announcements..." "Now is the time for our opening hymm"...Church, I thought, flows out of the heart....this one is boxed in.... And the sermon,.....I have heard it before.... It was given by an local elder...So they recycle these sermons every 3-4 years?? Do they have a web site that has these sermons so that elders who need to preach can pick one of these up and practice it during the week, to be delivered on Sabbath? I tell you truely...unless you know the people of the church, there are no activities for a non-church member to engage in during this time, to be known or to know the memebers of the church.... Quote Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.  George Bernard Shaw  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olger Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 All right Neil. I knew you'd come around... All the best in all languages. oG Quote "Please don't feed the drama queens.." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Planey Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 All the best in all languages. Tsk tsk ... There will be none of that charismatic speaking in tongues around here, ol' gerry... Quote Graeme____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doctorj Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 BUT let's get back to the topic on here.. I believe the topic here is to put forward some ideas on "Winning back inactive and former church members". I don't know much about the topic except for my own personal experience of being out of the church for about ten years and then finding my way back to church. Really there was little anyone could have done to "win" me back. There were however a number of people who planted little seeds in my mind that eventually grew and grew so much that I felt impressed to start going back to church. And it wasn't anything big that brought me back! Rather it was the friendship of those who sought me out that eventually brought me back. Real friends, and real friendship. A few people never stopped seeing me, and never stopped thinking to include me in their activities. And eventually it worked. Quote Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening. -- Dorothy Sarnoff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeHiscost Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 to be known or to know the memebers of the church.... I have a feeling it is because you're a memeber and you don't find the joy of attending where other memebers aren't present. Quote Lift Jesus up!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeHiscost Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 3] I disagree with some doctrines...like tithe or else. Some of the rules that folks makeup for Sabbath observance. The preoccupation with the law by some. So how can I get along with folks who disagree with my view and yet be at peace? In other words, why come back? Rob One who loves Jesus is always willing to go where Jesus calls them. As to winning others to follow suit, if we saw others as our Father in heaven sees us, through the righteousness of Christ, they will sense our lack of judgementalism and desire to be in that company. OTOH, Jesus voiced the greatest reason for withdrawel from the body of believers. "Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." Matthew 10:34 NASB Therefore the desire not to face the Sword is strong incentive to stay away unless one walks with the Savior. Regards! Quote Lift Jesus up!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil D Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 All right Neil. I knew you'd come around... All the best in all languages. oG "come around" ??? [scratches head, wary of splinters] come around ...where???? Quote Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.  George Bernard Shaw  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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