karl Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 The conspiracy is against all of us. We are all victims. We need help! And, fortunately, I have just the help we need, right here in this bottle, for only 3 easy monthly payments of $19.95, plus shipping and handling. But wait! Call now and for the next ten minutes we'll DOUBLE the offer. Instead of fixing all the world's problems, you'll be able to fix the problems of TWO planets for the price of one! (Just pay separate shipping and handling of $69.00 delivered to me, Karl Schyster, in small, unmarked bills, in a plain brown wrapper, in the dead of night.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SivartM Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 I'll take five. Then I can fix the entire solar system as well as Pluto and Charon, who are having self-esteem issues. Quote "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde�Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." - Jesus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karl Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 I'll take five. Then I can fix the entire solar system as well as Pluto and Charon, who are having self-esteem issues. Yes, but do you know the secret conspiracy code words that will allow you an extra 50% off on our new World-Fix Fixodent product which has become so essential for the repair of asteroid-strike damage? A MUST for every discriminating Adventist, (also available to those who do not discriminate for a small additional fee.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SivartM Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 (whispers) Cantaloupe petunia? Oh wait, that's the secret password for the secret underground Jesuit headquarters. Hold on, let me think... Quote "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde�Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." - Jesus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karl Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 (whispers) Cantaloupe petunia? Oh wait, that's the secret password for the secret underground Jesuit headquarters. Hold on, let me think... That's IT, my bony boy! Look to your left and you'll see the pyramid is opening! (Which one?) Why, the one with the ever-widening hole in it! You win what is behind door number two! Ancient Sanskrit inscriptions reveal all you ever wanted to know about 666 but were afraid to ask. Jes you wait. Well, now, I guess, Jes you IT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SivartM Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Hooray! Now I just need to learn to read Ancient Sanskrit inscriptions! Or I could just make something up and call it a translation. I don't know anyone who reads Ancient Sanskrit, do you? Quote "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde�Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." - Jesus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karl Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Hooray! Now I just need to learn to read Ancient Sanskrit inscriptions! Or I could just make something up and call it a translation. I don't know anyone who reads Ancient Sanskrit, do you? I've been trying to strike up relationships with ancient Sanskrit readers, but out here in rural Arkansas they've all been drinking so much Budwieser that they seem to be able to speak it fluently, but can't focus too well on the inscriptions. So... I'm not sure I can trust them. What do you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SivartM Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 I don't know... I suppose we could read it to them out loud. Except I'm not sure how to pronounce these squiggly lines. Wait, I just remembered that my Secret Jesuit Language professor from Jesuit Infiltration School could read ancient Sanskrit. I'll give him a call. Quote "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde�Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." - Jesus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karl Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 I don't know... I suppose we could read it to them out loud. Except I'm not sure how to pronounce these squiggly lines. Wait, I just remembered that my Secret Jesuit Language professor from Jesuit Infiltration School could read ancient Sanskrit. I'll give him a call. See if he's still got that Li'l Orphan Annie decoder ring he got out of the Crackerjack box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug yowell Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 I don't know... I suppose we could read it to them out loud. Except I'm not sure how to pronounce these squiggly lines. Wait, I just remembered that my Secret Jesuit Language professor from Jesuit Infiltration School could read ancient Sanskrit. I'll give him a call.[/quote Samuel Bacchiocchi is dead now. Try Cliff Goldstein instead,I think he's still available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug yowell Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Originally Posted By: SivartM I don't know... I suppose we could read it to them out loud. Except I'm not sure how to pronounce these squiggly lines. Wait, I just remembered that my Secret Jesuit Language professor from Jesuit Infiltration School could read ancient Sanskrit. I'll give him a call. See if he's still got that Li'l Orphan Annie decoder ring he got out of the Crackerjack box. Just when I was beginning to think one of you two was ready to become General Conference President you go and blow your cover!!! Very disappointing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karl Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Originally Posted By: karl See if he's still got that Li'l Orphan Annie decoder ring he got out of the Crackerjack box. Just when I was beginning to think one of you two was ready to become General Conference President you go and blow your cover!!! Very disappointing. We are SO busted, Sivart. That Doug! I knew he would be trouble way back in the 70's when I was a poethead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug yowell Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 We are SO busted, Sivart. That Doug! I knew he would be trouble way back in the 70's when I was a poethead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karl Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Originally Posted By: karl We are SO busted, Sivart. That Doug! I knew he would be trouble way back in the 70's when I was a poethead. The truth be known,Karl was actually a plothead at the time. See what I mean, Sivart? The plothead thickens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SivartM Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Rats. Now I have to change my name and go back undercover. Thanks a lot, Doug! :| *heads off to GC headquarters for further instructions* Quote "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde�Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." - Jesus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug yowell Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 See what I mean, Sivart? The plothead thickens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karl Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Originally Posted By: karl See what I mean, Sivart? The plothead thickens! Don't be alarmed,Karl, it happens quite often with age.Not unusual. So THAT's what the Jesuits have been doing! Aging my plothead mind prematurely. Ith really thickening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug yowell Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Don't be alarmed,Karl, it happens quite often with age.Not unusual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karl Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Wait a minute, isn't Karl the German abbreviation (in subTeutonic code)for Kardinal? When Dave Cotton referred to you as a real card I thought he was just kidding.... It's all starting to come together now. Cotton is a Jesuit if there ever was one. In the time of trouble, he was planning to follow the faithful out of the cities on a motocross bike armed with a machine gun. Now I know who he was planning to use it on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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