Female voices

[abelisle]

I know. I bet you thought I was going to talk about female ordination. Right? No, you're wrong. I'm going to talk about those female voices in our tech/geek gadgets.

You know - like in your GPS and other devices of that nature.

There's a female voice in my iPhone app (RunKeeper) who gives me info about my workouts. I think she lies. What her reason would be to do this, I'm not sure. Her pleasant voice belies the fact that she herself is a prisoner of time. Time owns her. She is its prisoner.

But why can't she say things like "I know the GPS algorithm is telling me to say you're running at 13 minutes a mile but we both know at this very moment you're running 8:40 mile pace." But she isn't the only female voice I must contend with.

 

The female in my GPS that I use while driving has even told me to make a U-turn while doing 65 mph on the interstate. Right! Maybe it's because she's old? There are younger versions of her who have the knack for remembering shorter faster routes to the same location. But they all sound so sexy, so seductive and even so forceful. Their error messages aren't so nice as if they are saying between the pauses in their words, "Gee, you're dumb. Watch what will happen if you don't listen to me."

 

I wonder if all females have this capacity - to say 'hard" things nicely. Hmm . . . . I don't think I'm going to go there. Is there a connection with what I just mentioned an ordination? Maybe - because when females say stuff, we tend to listen - even the "hard" stuff. Remember that woman called Ellen. Lots of hard stuff from her, yes indeed!

As for me, ordination takes a back seat to that female who keeps reminding me of that unrelenting process we call aging. Hard stuff indeed!

 

Alex

[phkrause]

Oh sorry Alex, your being serious.

pk