bevin Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 The following was in my email today /Bevin The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners: 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature: 18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an [censored]. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMAN Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 #s 3 and 5 would be my favorites for permanent additions to the dictionary. Now I've just got to figure out how to use them in a speech. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amelia Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 John Doe begged his doctor for a perscription for Viagra. His doctor couldnt get it through to him that it wouldnt help his terminal case of cashtration. Once cashtrated, always cashtrated. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/oops.gif" alt="" /> Quote <p><span style="color:#0000FF;"><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">"Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you."</span></span> Eph 4:29</span><br><br><img src="http://banners.wunderground.com/weathersticker/gizmotimetemp_both/US/OR/Fairview.gif" alt="Fairview.gif"> Fairview Or</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Gail Posted March 18, 2005 Administrators Share Posted March 18, 2005 ROFLOL! Bevin, these are hilarious! Thanks for sharing them Yeah, Bozone seems to fit some people I know Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewel Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 These are great!! Number 15 is my favorite though, it's nice to finally have a name to the "fit" that not just walking through webs but just seeing a spider cause me to have. Thanks for sharing! Quote Isaiah 1:18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amelia Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Awwwww cute puppy, jewel Quote <p><span style="color:#0000FF;"><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">"Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you."</span></span> Eph 4:29</span><br><br><img src="http://banners.wunderground.com/weathersticker/gizmotimetemp_both/US/OR/Fairview.gif" alt="Fairview.gif"> Fairview Or</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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