Parenting

[M. T. Cross]

If this is the wrong forum I apologize

The other day my youngest son came home from playing with a friend. His friend comes from a Christian family. My son asked if we believe in "God".

My oldest son said no and the youngest broke into tears saying that meant that his brother was going to hell.

I explained to him that this is a belief that some people hold but that different people believe different things. I also asked where he had heard this and he said his friend told him this. I was annoyed to say the least as he is only 6 years old and does not need that kind of stress at that age.

What I wonder is this though. What different people here would do if for example my child was playing with yours and said that there are many Gods and many ways to believe and that spirituality was each individuals perogitive. ( this is my belief - and as my wife and I share different spiritual paths and each respect the others our kids get a variety of thoughts on religion. We do everything in our power to keep it as age appropriate as we can)

[Liz]

I don't think my kids have ever gotten into that type of discussion. I've tried to instill in my kids that we are all God's children, and that we are all different and we are all carrying a burden, some are just more readily seen than others, but that the Golden Rule applies to all. Both of my kids are considered special needs, and they have had really hurtful things said to them, mainly from adults. But they have learned to take people by their actions, if they are friendly we can be friends, if they act mean we avoid them, and to each their own.

So in answer to your question, if your kids were to come over and play with mine, the main question would be "Halo or Wolf Quest".

[M. T. Cross]

Dgrimm, my son does not share my beliefs. He is 18 and its up to him to make his own decisions on this. He is really agnostic.

I have read the Bible cover to cover at least 4 times.

Liz, thats a great attitude. I appreciate your troubles with people being unkind to your kids, as two of my four children are autistic.

[miz3]

Dgrimm, my son does not share my beliefs. He is 18 and its up to him to make his own decisions on this. He is really agnostic.

I have read the Bible cover to cover at least 4 times.

Liz, thats a great attitude. I appreciate your troubles with people being unkind to your kids, as two of my four children are autistic.

Sad, very sad.

Young children are easily confused when faced with numerous options to process. When families are split in there world views this creates a crises of confusion and chaos. In such environments young children and sometimes even older children are hurt and ripped by such chaos.

I say the above not in an accusatory tone/way because I don't know the specifics and it is not my place to blame. I am only commenting on the results that clearly have resulted.

Divorce in families creates identical painful results. Whether such things could be helped or not or who is too blame I don't know nor do I want to speculate on it.

I can only comment on the results as you have described them and generally comment on those results because you have stated that there is some division involved. I cannot and will not assess blame for the confusion not only because I do not know such things but because that is something you will have to work out with God.

[M. T. Cross]

EGYPTCROSS

OH OK so you oldest son does not agree with your belief's

but what you youngest son are you trying to teach

him the bible truths???

i will be praying for you oldest son

dgrimm60

I am teaching him to be a good person. Personally, and from my experiences growing up in the Adventist church, I think 6 years old is way to young to be teaching "religion" too. When he asks me what I believe I give him brief descriptions that his young mind can process. First and formost I want him to learn to be a kind, generous, loving person. 3 things he is in abundance. All of our kids are strongly encouraged to seek out what they believe, based on their own research and study, not because its what they were raised with.

[miz3]

I am teaching him to be a good person. Personally, and from my experiences growing up in the Adventist church, I think 6 years old is way to young to be teaching "religion" too. When he asks me what I believe I give him brief descriptions that his young mind can process. First and formost I want him to learn to be a kind, generous, loving person. 3 things he is in abundance. All of our kids are strongly encouraged to seek out what they believe, based on their own research and study, not because its what they were raised with.

I find the best thing you can teach a child no matter what age is to know God as He is known in the Bible. I also find praying to God for help and wisdom in circumstances for your children is extremely helpful. One other important ingredient is to pray that the God of All will give you His wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and skill in raising His child under your management.

God will help you and God will be your strength in all the things you face in regard to your children provided you constantly and continuously seek God with all your heart. I promise God will bless you.

[M. T. Cross]

And I appreciate that Miz, but I can't teach my children something I don't truly believe.I don't personally believe in th "One God" teachings of the Bible.

What I teach them is that there are many different beliefs - including Christianity - and encourage them to seek out the religion or spiritual path that speaks most to their heart.

Beyond that they are taught these 9 virtues

Industriousness - Be productively engaged in life. Avoid laziness. Strive to accomplish good things.

Justice - Let equity and fairness be your hallmark. Treat others in accordance with what they deserve, and give each person a chance to show his or her best.

Courage - Fear is natural, but it can be overcome. Train yourself to do the things you fear, both physically and morally.

Generosity - An open hand and an open heart bring happiness to you and to others. The miserly are never happy.

Hospitality - In ancient times, travelers were greeted with food, drink, and a warm place by the fire. See that your guests never want.

Moderation - Enjoy all good things, but do not overindulge. No one admires a glutton or a person who cannot control his or her appetites.

Community - Cooperate with kin and friends, do your fair share, and remember your responsibilities to others.

Individuality - Although we belong to a community, we are also individuals with distinct personalities and clearly-defined rights. Respect the individuality of others, and insist on the same in return.

Truth - Be honest and straightforward in all your dealings. Avoid deceit and deception.

Steadfastness - Learn to persist, to endure in the face of adversity without discouragement. Do not be blown about by every changing wind.

Loyalty - Be steadfast in your commitment to others and to yourself. Have a true heart.

Wisdom - Learn from your experiences. Grow in the understanding of the world, and of the human heart. Comprehend as much of the universe as you can in the years available to you.

[M. T. Cross]

I guess though my real question is, how do you as SDA parents deal with your kids being exposed to other belief systems, and do you encourage your own kids to "preach" to non Adventist or Christian kids.

[miz3]

And I appreciate that Miz, but I can't teach my children something I don't truly believe.I don't personally believe in th "One God" teachings of the Bible.

What I teach them is that there are many different beliefs - including Christianity - and encourage them to seek out the religion or spiritual path that speaks most to their heart.

Beyond that they are taught these 9 virtues

Industriousness - Be productively engaged in life. Avoid laziness. Strive to accomplish good things.

Justice - Let equity and fairness be your hallmark. Treat others in accordance with what they deserve, and give each person a chance to show his or her best.

Courage - Fear is natural, but it can be overcome. Train yourself to do the things you fear, both physically and morally.

Generosity - An open hand and an open heart bring happiness to you and to others. The miserly are never happy.

Hospitality - In ancient times, travelers were greeted with food, drink, and a warm place by the fire. See that your guests never want.

Moderation - Enjoy all good things, but do not overindulge. No one admires a glutton or a person who cannot control his or her appetites.

Community - Cooperate with kin and friends, do your fair share, and remember your responsibilities to others.

Individuality - Although we belong to a community, we are also individuals with distinct personalities and clearly-defined rights. Respect the individuality of others, and insist on the same in return.

Truth - Be honest and straightforward in all your dealings. Avoid deceit and deception.

Steadfastness - Learn to persist, to endure in the face of adversity without discouragement. Do not be blown about by every changing wind.

Loyalty - Be steadfast in your commitment to others and to yourself. Have a true heart.

Wisdom - Learn from your experiences. Grow in the understanding of the world, and of the human heart. Comprehend as much of the universe as you can in the years available to you.

I agree you cannot teach others including your children something that you yourself do not believe in.

The nine virtues you listed are all in the Bible. You are to be complemented for teaching these nine good values.

Do your children, including the eighteen year old, live by and follow all nine of these virtues?

I was only sharing with you what has worked perfectly for me.

Do you think your parenting has worked they way you wanted it too?

[miz3]

I guess though my real question is, how do you as SDA parents deal with your kids being exposed to other belief systems, and do you encourage your own kids to "preach" to non Adventist or Christian kids.

Speaking only for myself.

I always taught them as I suggested you teach your children and that is to know God, the God of the Bible. I taught them that their highest obligation was to God.

As to other belief systems. I taught them that anything contrary to God of the Bible was never right. If other belief systems could be followed and remain true the God of the Bible then OK. However where such systems conflicted with God then you always go with God. They are not naive about other belief systems but they are focused on God and that allows them to deal correctly with other systems.

No I never ever encouraged my children to go "preach" to other kids regardless of others professions. I did teach them to defend themselves and their beliefs when challenged. I also taught them that their example was the best message they could send to others.

I am personally pleased and happy with the way God has worked things out with my children. I could not be more pleased or more happy.

[M. T. Cross]

They try to follow the Nine Noble Virtues. Much like anything else we all fail from time to time.

For the most part I am very happy with how my kids have turned out. They make decisions I question, but thats part of them being their own person and part of their learning experience.

[miz3]

They try to follow the Nine Noble Virtues. Much like anything else we all fail from time to time.

For the most part I am very happy with how my kids have turned out. They make decisions I question, but thats part of them being their own person and part of their learning experience.

Ok. It is important that you are happy with the result of your parenting.

However, I again think it is not a good idea for "SDA"/"Christian" children to be telling other children that they or members of their family are going to burn in Hell.

Such Judgments belong only to God. Humans can never ever make such judgments under any circumstances. In fact the Bible prohibits explicitly that humans are to judge the ultimate outcome of another human being.

We can judge whether the things are right or wrong but we can never ever judge the ultimate outcome.

Thus, that child who "witnessed" to your child, may have meant well/may have not too, needs to learn that such judgments belong only to God.

[Stan]

More on the nine values

http://odinsvolk.ca/O.V.A.%20-%20NNV.htm

Most 'truism' make sense from most religions.. for day to day living..

[M. T. Cross]

Most parts of Asatru are the same as a lot of Christian beliefs - just different deity.

Which is why I am such a fan of people of different faiths TALKING to each other.

Had the Crusaders and the Norse folks actually talked to each other they would have found they had a lot of common ground.

[ClubV12]

I'll take the 10 over the mystic 9 anyday. I'll take ONE God, the living God over a wide variety of other gods.

Jesus and His followers did, do and are commanded to "make judgments" within the church. If there was no call to make a judgment, ever, under any circumstances, there would be no organization, no church, no structure.

When someone is disciplined, censured or disfellowshipped that IS "judgment"!! And Jesus has blessed it, what so ever is bound on earth by His followers is bound in heaven.

Asatru,,, just another of many false gods. The Lord will handle them the same way He did the 400 prophets of Baal.

[M. T. Cross]

I'll take the 10 over the mystic 9 anyday. I'll take ONE God, the living God over a wide variety of other gods.

Jesus and His followers did, do and are commanded to "make judgments" within the church. If there was no call to make a judgment, ever, under any circumstances, there would be no organization, no church, no structure.

When someone is disciplined, censured or disfellowshipped that IS "judgment"!! And Jesus has blessed it, what so ever is bound on earth by His followers is bound in heaven.

Asatru,,, just another of many false gods. The Lord will handle them the same way He did the 400 prophets of Baal.

And that has what to do with kids telling other kids their families are gonna roast?

There is nothing mystic about those 9 values

[ClubV12]

Kids are mean, can't get around it. Next time it will be something else, like a weird nose or you Momma wears Army boots. You deal with it as best you can. Sometimes "bullying" gets so serious you really have to take dramatic action to stop it. Choose your battles carefully and let the rest go.

Mystic, false gods, spiritualism, heathen all those terms fit the "9", none of them fit the 10. Some folks embrace heathenism, they like it, they want to spread the "good news" about it. They aren't bothered or embarrased to embrace it. Whatever,,,,

[M. T. Cross]

Just out of curiosity - are you a parent Club?

Think of those values however you want. I think if we all lived by them the world would be a much more "Christlike" place.

[ClubV12]

I am a parent. Those values and more are in the 10. :)

[M. T. Cross]

Cool, I was not sure from some of your other posts if you had kids or not.

I would be really interested in a discussion of how you find those values in the 10 commandments. Maybe a side by side comparison.

But that would be better for another thread perhaps?

[ClubV12]

Man kind has always had a problem interpreting the deep meanings of the 10. Same thing applies to the "two" that Jesus spoke of, love of God and love of fellow man. Like any bible instruction or verse different people see differnt things in how to apply, what does it mean.

That is why the Israelites were given the law of Moses, which were also placed in the ark. The laws of Moses expouned on the meaning of the ten, brought them into a real life application the children of Israel could actually deal with in a logical manner. Thats why God gave us Ellen White for this last generation. It was vitally important that the Israelites understand the 10 because their mission was to be a light to the world for centuries to come. Today Gods people also have an important mission, the LAST one to be given to the world. It is vitally important we get the instructions right.

The 10 hang on the 2, love to God, love to man, it sounds simple, but the deeper you dig the more profound they become.

[Bravus]

G'day Empty Cross

Hopefully I can answer the question you actually asked. ;-)

I have two daughters who will be turning 21 and 18 in a few weeks, and they're amazing young women. Our approach to the kind of issue you talked about has always been to say to them 'other people are free to believe what they believe, and do what they do, but this is what we do in our family'.

We did bring them up in the church, and read them Bible stories and so on, and they have a good grounding in all that, but like you we attended to (a) helping them develop as good, caring, responsible, considerate people and ( helping them understand choices and consequences and know how to make good choices.

They saw all sorts of things we don't choose for our family when they went and played at friends houses, from excessive drinking and swearing to arguments and fights. They just never saw those things at home, but our approach was not to judge the other people, but to look at the behaviours and their consequences and consciously decide we didn't want them for ourselves.

In that kind of environment, your little guy can reject the beliefs of others as applying to him, and work toward developing his own set of beliefs. "Other people believe that, but we don't choose that for ourselves."

Hope that's helpful: all I can say is that it's worked, and (Dadly bias aside) our daughters are fantastic people.

[M. T. Cross]

Thats kind of the idea we go with Bravus. Being as I have not until the last few years been sure where I stood on things I have really tried to raise my kids with good moral values. Like those ones I posted.

Our 20 and 18 y/o kids have also seen a lot of things I wish they would not have growing up. They have turned out pretty good tho I think, outside some of the usual teenage angst.

My little guy is a very sensitive fella and hearing that from the other kid really messed him up a bit. But in telling him that I do not share that belief, and that there are many beliefs - I also told him that he needs to respect the beliefs of others even if its not one we share.