Unfriendly Member Border line Shunning.

[Rach]

Hello I have been attending a older SDA church in my area for about a month now. I do not know much about the writings of Ellen White but what I am gathering if one went to the SDA private schools then they seem to stick together. However, if you are a baptized SDA member but you were not brought up as a SDA then one get a polite hello then and a fast back turn. I believe that is called shunning. It is unfortunate that this religion practice status over brotherly and sisterly love.

I have struggle in the past with doctrines in other churches also with the concept of shunning. It hurtful and harsh for any church to do this to others. As I had to walk away from another church as was shunned for 25 years of my life.

When I got baptized as an SDA 12 years ago people seemed very friendly. I left for many reasons mainly doctrines that I really do not fully understand. Now I thought I would try to have an opened mind and study.

Now I am trying to attend this smaller SDA church and the people are unfriendly. People are stand offish. And I got up early to meet people for a Christmas brunch and I did not get to know but some old lady who was 90.

Just tired of being shunned and I am thinking about seeking fellowship with another type of church.

I am always trying to see if churches have love among each other and listen for what the Spirit says in the Chruch Like in Revelations. But this church is scares me more than the Baptist or any worldly church I have ever attended and I am baptized into it. Actually, I came back because I remember how loving the other SDA church was toward me but now I beginning to have regrets. Should I leave? Perhaps I do not fit in with the SDAs.

[Gerr]

I am sorry to hear about your experience, brother. Give them more time to get to know you. Very few people are truly outgoing; believe me, most people are shy. Take the initiative and just go ahead and introduce yourself to others.

When my son went the 9th grade in a SDA academy, he totally excluded by the other kids and stuck with the kids they grew up with. It really hurt my son. To date, he hasn't totally gotten over it.

[Gibs]

Rach,

I never was a liberal and had very few friends in the liberal SDA churches I've been in. My first church was a very true Bible adherent SDA church and we were all very close and dear friends. Then we came to a big one and just some were friendly with me and as they died off as most were old and the rest left it, then the remaining liberals, none of them were friendly and shunned me and fought me vigorously.

Wonder if this isn't the problem you are having.

Today I am a home churcher as at that time many home churches broke out of the SDA liberality churches and never have gone back.

I am plus 80 now and have seen better times in Adventism. Another kind of love has come in that I can not be a part of.

Check out the testimonies of the different views of people here and some are not SDA's and you'll soon get a good perspective.

My advice, follow the Lord Jesus Christ and Him only and adhere tightly with His Word. The Book your name matters in is His Book, not any churches book.

Please read these, Re 3:5; 13:8; 17:8; 21:27; Ps 69:28; Da 12:1; Lu 10:20; Php 4:3

1Jo 4:4 ¶ Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

Bro. Gibs.

[Woody]

Quote:

Just tired of being shunned and I am thinking about seeking fellowship with another type of church.

Yes. I think that seeking fellowship in another church is a great idea. There are all kinds of churches - you just need to find a good fit for your personality and beliefs. Keep looking. You will find a good match. I am currently going through the same search.

Nowadays most of the old legalistic type churches are dying out. But unfortunately - there are some that remain. You can just read some of the posts here to see that legalism does remain and is popular with some.

We are told that this is a sign of the end times. That there will continue to be some who promote legalism. ANd when you have legalistic and judgmental people - you have UNfriendly people.

Good Luck. Praying for you and your search.

[Gerr]

Yes. I think that seeking fellowship in another church is a great idea. There are all kinds of churches - you just need to find a good fit for your personality and beliefs. Keep looking. You will find a good match. I am currently going through the same.

Hey, Woody, do you mean that you are not fitting in even in Blanche's church? It may be difficult to find a church that believes that they will continue to sin intentionally until Jesus comes.:)

[Naomi]

Hello Rach,

I am sadden that you are experiencing so many negative issues. Yes, perhaps the answer would be that, if there is a different church near you, to check it out.

I can assure you that being born into the SDA belief or attending our schools will not necessarily make people immediately love you. In my travels I visited many churches

sometimes I was greeted by warm, loving people, and some were

cold.

My favorite home church was not friendly at all when I first attended. After a few visits a very dear lady came back to me and said, "If you want to sit here by yourself, it is OK. But, we would like for you to come and sit with us." Then she smiled, took my arm and said, "Come". I followed her to what had seemed like a group of unfriendly people. From that day forward I felt so much love and fellowship.

The 90 year old may become your best friend and open the door to fellowship with others. My dearest friend is 98 years old; I only hope to be as sweet and sharp as she when I am much younger.

Don't give up .. diamonds are sometimes in the rough.

Love, peace & courage

[Gibs]

Ihave found that being in churches that preach "unto me only smooooth things" most cease to be friendly when it is brought up to them, "it just won't work." Christ's way is the only way and to vary from it one might as well not practice any following. It is all the way with Him or it is not acceptable.

"Leagalism" or "Liberalism" neither are the way that Christ has appointed. There is His middle of the road path to follow and He tells us to get on it we have to go through that "strait" narrow scraping off gate to get on it and then it is narrow.

Finding true love and friendship with Jesus Christ first and then with fellow True believers is the goal but not so easy sometimes to find true ones among men. Don't be unhappy if so many in the church are not friendly to you, remember it really wasn't meant to be a social of men in foolishness but a time to come and worship God and learn the Truth for you and each one there. And the sermon must cut if it is the truth. It should be designed to cut out error and untruths.

Here's a little clip of EGW on liberalism,

"The faith in Christ that saves the soul is not what it is represented to be by many. "Believe, believe," is their cry; "only believe in Christ, and you will be saved. It is all you have to do." While true faith trusts wholly in Christ for salvation, it will lead to perfect conformity to the law of God. Faith is manifested by works. And the apostle John declares, "He that saith, I know Him, and keepeth not His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him". (1 John 2:4). {FW 52.2}

Did you ever stop to think that they Hated Jesus before they did you. Look at what happened to all the Apostles, all Martyred except for John and He was exiled to the isle of Patmos. The Martyrs up through the dark ages, You got to remember it is the truth that is hated in this world. Why? That's easy, the god of this world is a liar and the father of it. Most are of him now in this world.

You don't walk alone when you walk with Jesus Christ and He dwells in you and you in Him. You can never feel lonely or will be depressed as so many are. Your TRUE friends among men will be those who also walk with Him and He in them and they in Him. All these are ONE in Him and this is your TRUE family. It is also His Spiritual Body, His Church!

1Jo 4:4 ¶ Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

[Gail]

Hi, Rach-

First of all, THANK YOU for coming here! When things are tough there are many here who will encourage you to go on.

((( Rach )))

There are people in the church who have been there so long without growth that they have stagnated and their love has grown cold. The Bible says that would happen- in Revelation Jesus talked about those who lost their first love. And love is the basis for any obedience we might produce if it is to be God's way.

What helps me when dealing with people who are hurtful (and I admit I've done my share!) is not to focus on them. You know by how it feels that something is not right. If you dwell on it you will end up sharing it and that only compounds the hurt within you. We have a Saviour who lived on earth as a person of ACTION. Keep learning of His example and ask for reinforcement of the love He has to be placed within you by His Spirit. And move forward, even on your own if need be. Then when you come back to church your loneliness won't be so profound.

Don't be shy to come back and allow us to be your friends :)

[Gerr]

Good point, Gail. I was not a baptized member when I went to a SDA boarding school. Of the most troublesome kids at the school, two were sons of one of the pastors and one was the son of a teacher. Had I been focusing on the behavior, I might not be an Adventist today. But it never crossed my mind to equate their behavior with the church.

[phkrause]

Good point, Gail. I was not a baptized member when I went to a SDA boarding school. Of the most troublesome kids at the school, two were sons of one of the pastors and one was the son of a teacher. Had I been focusing on the behavior, I might not be an Adventist today. But it never crossed my mind to equate their behavior with the church.

Excellent, excellent post Gerry. We have a choice to make in life. Not to blame this person or that person for our choice's.