THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES: [anti-male]

[Neil D]

Six married men will be dropped on an island with

one car and 3 kids

each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take

music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his

assigned house clean,

correct all homework, complete science projects,

cook, do laundry, and

pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough

money.

In addition...each man will have to budget in

money for groceries each

week.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's

appointment, a dentist

appointment, and an appointment for a haircut. He

must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social

function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his

own assigned house,

planting flowers outside and keep it presentable

at all times.

The men will only have access to television when

the kids are asleep and

all chores are done.

There is only one TV between them, and NO remote.

Each father will be required to know all of the

words to every stupid

song that comes on TV and the name of each and

every character on

cartoons.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily,

which they will apply

to themselves either while driving or making

three lunches.

They must adorn themselves with jewelry, wear

uncomfortable yet stylish

shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows

groomed.

During one of the six weeks, they will have to

endure severe stomach

cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained

mood swings but never

once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly PTA meetings, church, and

find time at least

once to spend the afternoon at the park or a

similar setting.

He will need to pray with the children each

night, bathe them, dress

them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each

morning by 7:00.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks,

and each father will

be required to know all of the following

information:

*each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe

size, clothes size and

doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth,

length, time of birth,

and length of labor.

*each child's favorite color, middle name,

favorite snack, favorite

song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear

and what they want to

be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at

2:00 a.m. and then spend

the remainder of the day tending to that child

and waiting on them hand

and foot until they are better.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model

with six toothpicks, a

tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to

eat a serving of peas.

The kids vote them off the island based on

performance.

The last man wins only if...he still has enough

energy to be intimate

with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game

over and over and over

again for the next 18-25 years...eventually

earning the right to be

called Mother!

[aldona]

That's great! I think I've just found the special feature for next week's "Mother's Day" edition of the church bulletin...

aldona