Neil D Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Not long ago, my wife and I went to church. Not just any church, but a 'foreign' church...at least, it was foreign to us. We have never been there before. We had not gone 3 steps into the lobby and my wife whispers to me,"I have to go to the bathroom." She gets to bypass the greeters, and I have to make nice with them. I smile, tell them where we are from, and no, I did not come alone, my wife is in the bathroom. This is a source of embarrassement for me, as I do not like to pass on to 'foreigners' what business we [either my wife or myself] are doing. I then have to ignore everyone else in the lobby and stare at the ceiling [did you know that most churches have that spackeled textured look?] or at the carpet [green with some pattern]. Eventually, I find the obligatory church bulletin board where the doings of the church are posted, or it's a picture board where every member of the church and thier child is posted on the board with thier names...[sigh] I don't care whose here...don't want to really know, untill someone takes pity upon me and my wife. I have complained to my wife about it lately. She usually says something calming remark like "Tough!" or "When I gotta go, I gotta go!". It is really fexing when she goes 1/2 hour before we leave for church...because she still has to go once she gets to the lobby. I think I could handle it, if she would allow us to get to our seats in church, but no, she gotta go before we see the inside of the sanctuary. Of course this phenomonone is not limited to just church. It occurs in pairs with other women. Say you are at a dinner table with another couple. They will inevitably go just after the salad and before the main course or just before dessert comes. Of course, to be polite, you must wait to eat before they come back. And if you are conversationally challenged, like I am, you have to make nice before they come back. I always feel lost and alone during that time. While the physiology is rather simple/obvious in my mind, I have not figured out the psychology for it. Besided the necessity of [for lack of an accurate word at the moment] peeing, why do women retreat to the bathroom during social functions? And why go to the bathroom in pairs if at a dinner party? Just what is this fancination with the urinary tract at social functions? Quote Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. George Bernard Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Nan Posted July 29, 2005 Moderators Share Posted July 29, 2005 Neil if you understood the physiology of the female urinary tract - which is very much influenced by the psychology - you would not be asking this question. <img src="/ubbtreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> A suggestion for the church thing, go a little earlier so you can find a bathroom she can use just before you get to the church, then at least you will be able to be greeted and find your seats before the next urge overtakes her. There is a medical technique called bladder retraining - maybe one or other of you should look into it !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators LynnDel Posted July 29, 2005 Moderators Share Posted July 29, 2005 Neil, you may want to save your post for when you get prostate problems. Or maybe I will, and send it on to your wife. . . *evil laugh* It's better to use the bathroom as a preventative measure before church than to get up during the service and walk the gauntlet down the aisle. Don't tell the foreignors your wife is in the bathroom. Just say, "She'll be joining me shortly." Memorize the bulletin in the meanwhile, or find someone likewise standing alone and do an intensive interview. LD Quote LD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellen Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 I didn't know it was a woman thing. My husband has to go everytime there is a bathroom in sight. I know it's going to happen so I prepare to wait it out. I hate it when he says, "get a seat I'll be along." Somehow I don't think this belongs under "humor". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CWhetmore Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 Humor? Goodness, what makes us laugh? Often, it's the unexpected. I think those of us who learn to chuckle at the incongruities that come our way in life are happier, for it. Laughter is the best medicine. If you don't laugh, you're gonna cry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil D Posted August 15, 2005 Author Share Posted August 15, 2005 Quote: If you don't laugh, you're gonna cry. And sometimes the only thing you can do...is laugh... So, laughing is a good thing.... Live life, laugh often, love much... Quote Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. George Bernard Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted August 15, 2005 Share Posted August 15, 2005 Hey, I have a 6 year old who has to use the bathroom at the merest suggestion, hint, or sign (which is why we don't point them out to him). On the other hand, he also has to go at quite inopportune times. Like on a train between Anshan and Beijing, when the car has JUST stopped at a station where the number of passengers on the car has doubled--those standing in the aisles are almost leaning on each other--and it's an "emergency"--and we're at the end of the car--the opposite end from the WC. ARRRGGGHH! And then, after squishing and squeezing from one end of the train to the other and back, he turns and says, that was fun, Mom! yeah, this belongs in humor! M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted August 15, 2005 Administrators Share Posted August 15, 2005 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> CWhetmore said: Humor? Goodness, what makes us laugh? Often, it's the unexpected. I think those of us who learn to chuckle at the incongruities that come our way in life are happier, for it. Laughter is the best medicine. If you don't laugh, you're gonna cry. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> Agreed! As mother used to drill into us, "Smile and dthe world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone." Besides I'm lazy, it takes fewer muscles to smile than not. Now they say that you actually burn more calories if you laugh really hard every day. An exercise plan I can live with. Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Gail Posted August 15, 2005 Administrators Share Posted August 15, 2005 Toilet humour... on Clubadventist... Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted August 16, 2005 Administrators Share Posted August 16, 2005 <img src="/ubbtreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbtreads/images/graemlins/smilie_zoom.gif" alt="" /> Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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