Ten Years Old

[cricket]

My son is ten years old and seen too much. Tonight he went to bed crying. After talking a while, it seems as if he's truly worried that something really bad is going to happen to either his father or me. I think he's seen too much.

When he was 6 he was the first to see the news about the WTC. He was listening to the radio as I was getting ready to take him to school. He said, "Mom! I think a plane just crashed into the World Trade Center! Let's go and look at the news on the TV!" And so, we looked.

He didn't go back to school for a week. He'd start to cry every time we pulled into the school parking lot.

Since that time, his grandfather died (at 56), his uncle died (at 39), a church buddy's mom died (at 40ish), the Tsunami hit, and now the tragedy at New Orleans.

He's seen too much.

How much more will the little boy have to face at such a young age? How much more can he believe the words, "We just have to trust in Jesus?"

He has greater faith than either his father or his mother, but I'm worried about how much more he can take.

Lord, Jesus, come quickly!

[Jeannieb43]

One thing we have to do is protect children from seeing these tragedies replayed over and over again on TV. In a child's mind this equals a new tragedy every time he sees it replayed. They just can't handle that at that age.

I can remember crying myself to sleep at night when I was eight, worrying about my parents not having enough money to pay for my church school tuition, because it had been explained to me that they already were paying for public school tuition by virtue of their taxes. So I thought they were so poor, and here they were sacrificing for me to go to church school. [in reality, they were living on a very frugal budget. But never were in danger of having to go without food or shelter.] But at that age a child understands more than he's able to really put into perspective.

It's really best for children not to see TV news at all. But that means the whole family must do active things together in place of watching TV in order for them not to feel deprived all of a sudden.

[cricket]

I understand, completely. The thing is, we don't have a working TV now. In fact, we did away with it shortly after the events in New York. The only news we get now is via the Internet and word of mouth from friends. Sometimes, in a mall or a restaurant, we might catch a glimpse of the news as is broadcast on television.

So, even with no "news" we still have news and it is still frightening to little boys and girls.

[Michelle]

It is indeed a frightening world. My boys saw about 10 minutes total coverage about the WTC because they were very little (2 and 4) and I didn't want them to be so frightened. They do know about the hurricane as they did about the tsunami, but they haven't seen any coverage. It is hard to keep the news from the little guys, though--I agree!

M

[LynnDel]

At certain ages children are much more sensitive to those types of fears than at other ages. I remember, at age seven, being terrified that an army was marching in to take our town (Crestwood, KY, of all places) - I could hear them coming, their measured marching. My mother would come in and sit on my bed and sing a beautiful song, The Holy City being my favorite. It turned out that the marching I heard was my pulse - in my ears!

Later we moved to Colorado, near Cheyenne Mountain/NORAD, and this being at the Cuban missile crisis era, we children had to dive under our desks every Friday when the warning sirens in town went off, just for practice.

Even though we had no television and the world was not as saturated with media as it is now, children do have fears, and a little information can loom large in their minds.

Help your son memorize comforting scripture to fill his mind when these thoughts overwhelm him. My mother had me do that starting at age 7 (Psalm 23, 46, 91), and it really was a help.

LynnDel

[cricket]

Oooh, LynnDel! This reminds me of the time that I was--well, I was younger than 11--and I heard some of the same sounds. To me, it wasn't an army coming, but a band of Indians on a warpath. The beat, beat, beating of the drums in the distance. Funny how our mind plays tricks on us.

When I was a newlywed and began sleeping next to a snoring husband, I woke several times in the night to the sounds of a "woman in the distance, screaming". I'd wake up my husband and ask him to listen. But, hearing nothing, he'd go back to sleep. Turns out, it was a whistling noise he made when he breathed!

Thanks for the idea of memorizing scriptures. I will have to implement that tonight!

[Michelle]

My 6 y/o asks me to pray for him almost every night. If he sleeps without any covers, he's afraid monsters will come and get him. If I pray for him, he can go to sleep. He also sometimes can't get a scary thought out of his head. If I pray with him, he can get to sleep. Originally he started telling me he couldn't get to sleep because of XYZ. Now, he says, Mom, please pray for XYZ. Subtle shift, but he doesn't get himself worked into tears about it as he used to.

When I was about age 4-7 we lived in NE Wyoming, where there are lots of oil wells. I remember being scared of the noise the nearest pump made and thinking it was something bad.

Also, I saw a few bits and pieces of Wizard of Oz when I was too young (have never seen the whole thing) and for years I was scared there were people living under my bed (must have thought about the witch being killed by the house combined with the little people singing)--I would NOT stand beside my bed--would get dressed/undressed either across the room or on the bed--would run and jump on the bed or jump off and run. Never told anyone.

Childhood can be a very scary time. The 6 y/o last night was putting something away in the study on his desk. He went in without turning on the light because he told me, I'm going to face the monsters by myself, and they are only in the dark. So he went in--I heard him start barking, and he said, one of them barked at me, mom. I don't know where the monsters come from except his head. It's just one of those things, I guess!

M

[cricket]

Quote:

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Also, I saw a few bits and pieces of Wizard of Oz when I was too young (have never seen the whole thing) and for years I was scared there were people living under my bed (must have thought about the witch being killed by the house combined with the little people singing)--I would NOT stand beside my bed--would get dressed/undressed either across the room or on the bed--would run and jump on the bed or jump off and run. Never told anyone.

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You weren't alone! I ran to jump on and off the bed too! I tossed and turned all night. My fears went so far as to think that the "people" living under my bed could actually be hiding inside my mattress. And...if they really wanted to, they could just kill me through the mattress.

So far, my kids haven't told me of anything that they've imagined like this. The things that scare them are things that are very real. Things like people breaking into the house to kill us, rape us, kidnap us, etc. No monsters, or witches though.