Should Christians Spank Their Children?

[Gerr]

The physical punishment I received mostly just made me angry, after the fear and pain subsided. That your wife took your son to the restroom was a positve compared to my father who seemed to capitalize on the humiliation of public discipline. And again the embarrassment and shame only made me resentful and angry. I vowed I would not repeat that with my own children.

I can sympathize with you about that.  My father used the belt or the switch in everything including making mistakes in arithmetic.  Yeah, I know the anger and resentment!  So I was determined never to use that method on my son.  Thank God!  That cycle of violent discipline ended with me.

[Tom Wetmore]

Ending that cycle takes a great deal of determination and help.  I too was determined to break that cycle, and by God's grace I think it has been.  But what I found was that by my own upbringing I had few alternatives to consider. In the stress and frustration of the moment it is difficult to know what to do without resorting to only what you know by experience.  Thankfully, my wife was raised differently.  There were times when I simply had to step aside and let her do the discipline, lest I resort to the expedient and quick resolution of using force.  

[Gerr]

One may not use painful corporal punishment, but harsh words can be just as devastating.  I came across these words this morning.

 

"In seeking to correct or reform others we should be careful of our words. They will be a savor of life unto life or of death unto death. In giving reproof or counsel, many indulge in sharp, severe speech, words not adapted to heal the wounded soul. By these ill-advised expressions the spirit is chafed, and often the erring ones are stirred to rebellion. All who would advocate the principles of truth need to receive the heavenly oil of love. Under all circumstances reproof should be spoken in love. Then our words will reform but not exasperate. Christ by His Holy Spirit will supply the force and the power. This is His work." {COL 337.1}

 

White, E. G. (1900). Christ’s Object Lessons (p. 337). Review and Herald Publishing Association.

[Tom Wetmore]

Quite true.  The emotional abuse of harsh words most frequently leaves deeper scars than physical beating.  And that part of the battle to break the cycle may be even harder to exercise than restraining oneself from lifting a hand against a child.  

[fccool]

Quite true.  The emotional abuse of harsh words most frequently leaves deeper scars than physical beating.  And that part of the battle to break the cycle may be even harder to exercise than restraining oneself from lifting a hand against a child.  

 

I'd say that one should treat children as potential adults... and not as animals you speak to through verbal commands, incentives and beating.    Those are the easiest ways to instill certain behavior, but such behavior becomes "animal-like", because it was instilled on the level of Pavlovian response. 

 

If you want your children to do things for the right reasons, and not merely react to any given situation... there should be more time spent explaining, and in a way they can understand.   There's a great deal of evidence that things like spousal abuse grow out of the environment where physical punishment is a proper response to "fixing unwanted behavior".   Not entirely, but it does play a role in forming abusive mentality of a bully. 

[Ted Oplinger]

Should a Christian spank their children? Depends on the adult involved...

 

My family - I and my sister were spanked by my father, and we in turn did the same for our own children. Performed with love, it teaches the immediate negative consequences to bad behavior.

 

My father's sister, though - never allowed her kids to be spanked. It was contrary to her nature - but God gave her other avenues which got the same unpleasant message across. Her kids turned just fine as well.

 

Two related families with vastly different opinions, but having the same final outcomes.

 

By one's convictions, the rod can be physical...or not...but in either case it simply cannot be spared.

 

Blessings,