Why You Really Left the Church

[bonnie]

Why You Really Left the Church Commentary: Throw out the popular explanations for why young people are leaving the church. The roots lie in the mind and the media. Posted March 5, 2015

Editor's note: Commentaries are intended to express the richness and variety of informed and responsible Adventist opinion on current issues. They do not necessary convey the viewpoint of the Adventist Review editorial team or the General Conference.

BY JAMES D. STANDISH, communication director, and religious liberty and public affairs director for the South Pacific Division

Most of my best friends from Far Eastern Academy in Singapore have left the Seventh-day Adventist Church. So have most of my friends from grade school in Australia, my friends from Andrews University in Michigan, and a bunch of my friends from Newbold College in Britain.

And it isn’t just my friends. My generation — Generation X — has left the church in droves.

We were, it turns out, a little foretaste of what was to come. 

Today, Christian literature is littered with articles about Millennials abandoning church, with various hobbyhorses being flogged to explain the exodus. So let’s look at a few of them. 

That old chestnut suggests “someone said something wrong.”

Now let’s get real here. No one could hold down a job, stay in school, or have a relationship if they were so sensitive that they left as soon as they bumped into a grumpy person.

Of course people at church should be kind, pure, and true. In my experience, Adventists generally are, although not always and not everyone. But outside of extreme circumstances, people don’t reject things they value simply because they come in contact with real human beings, warts and all. They walk out because they don’t value the underlying substance. 

A second explanation popularized by U.S. author and columnist Rachel Held Evans is that Millennials are abandoning church because it focuses on sexual morality rather than social justice.

But this doesn’t work on two counts.

First, the denominations that are biggest on talking social justice and the smallest on biblical sexual morality are the ones shrinking the fastest.

Second, it turns out all those traditional evangelicals are hardly indifferent to poverty. World Vision, one of the largest aid and development outfits in the world, is an evangelical initiative. The Salvation Army? They’re evangelicals too. And you would be hard pressed to find a community that does more, pound for pound, to provide health and education to the poor around the globe than the Adventist Church. 

So if it isn’t grumpy people, unfashionable views on sex, or cold indifference to the poor, it must be dull and uninspired worship services!

Apparently not. Perhaps no community has embraced contemporary worship more enthusiastically than U.S. evangelicals, and yet they are losing Millennials left, right and center. Pastors in black T-shirts, churches with espresso machines, and Daft Punk-style praise bands just aren’t packing ’em in. 

This leaves a superficially profound answer: Organized church is directly opposed to the authentic Christ.

The problem with this line of reasoning? It was Jesus who set up the church, and He began it with 12 very imperfect people. So if the real Jesus set up a church full of real people, how could disassociating from a real church be consistent with loving the real Christ? 

But there’s an even more fundamental problem: All these explanations rest on age-old phenomena. There is, for example, nothing new about Christian teachings on sex or flaws in organized churches. If the rate of defections has increased, the underlying reason for the drift away must also be increasing. New events require new explanations. 

So what’s new? One of the most profound changes in our culture is the explosion of media consumption. Back in the early 1990s, the average Australian, for example, watched about 17 hours of television per week. According to McCrindle Research, Australians today spend close to four hours online every day, and about three hours a day watching television, for a staggering 49 hours of media consumption per week. The figures are even higher in other countries.

As mass media has become more heavily entwined with our lives, the content has simultaneously become increasingly incompatible with, and even hostile to, Christianity. Our media consumption profoundly impacts the way we see the world. Ellen White comments on a popular truism this way: “It is a law both of the intellectual and the spiritual nature that by beholding we become changed. The mind gradually adapts itself to the subjects upon which it is allowed to dwell. It becomes assimilated to that which it is accustomed to love and reverence” (The Great Controversy, p. 555). 

Could the answer to the spiritual malaise infecting society have little to do with the inadequacies of everyone and everything else, and all to do with how we choose to invest our thoughts? Is the exodus from church the inevitable, natural result of our media consumption patterns? The solution could be as simple as spending less time watching “Game of Thrones” and more time focused on the Throne of Grace.

This commentary is slightly adapted from one that appeared in the South Pacific Adventist Record in 2013.

 

[JoeMo]

Brick-and-mortar bookstores are failing, brick-and-mortar "big-box" stores are failing.  If you want to, you can do all your shopping (including groceries) and never leave your computer or smart phone.

 

If people are spending more time on the internet and social media than they do at work, maybe the church needs to focus on "virtual" church.  In a way, ClubAdventist is "virtual" church.  I spend more time here; and have more intimate discussions here than I do at my 'bricks-and-mortar" church.  In a way, ClubAdventist is my home church.

 

Just because they aren't in church doesn't mean millenials are turning their backs on God.  More than half of the participants in my weekly "Book Club" (fka Bible Study) at work are millennials.

[thx4mercy]

Article said:  "Could the answer to the spiritual malaise infecting society have little to do with the inadequacies of everyone and everything else, and all to do with how we choose to invest our thoughts?"

 

Whoaaaa!!!!!  He's going to step on some toes here.  But I think the author is making a very good point in the article.  How can reverant worship before a Holy God possibly keep the interest and attention like TV, movies and the internet can?

 

As to JoeMo's comment about "Just because they're not in church...."   I believe that the majority who quit going to church are not generally developing a closer walk with God.  My personal experience in the past of being "out" for a number of years could have been an unusual case, but I don't think so.

 

 

 

[CoAspen]

 

How can reverant worship before a Holy God possibly keep the interest and attention like TV, movies and the internet can?

Simple, be relevant. Have any of those mediums, which people like to point fingers at, stayed mired in their beginning days? There is a constant 'reinvention' in order to stay current.

 

Trying to associate  'going to church' with all of the other everyday life activities as a way to explain why people are not going is lame, in my opinion.

 

 

Could the answer to the spiritual malaise infecting society have little to do with the inadequacies of everyone and everything else, and all to do with how we choose to invest our thoughts?

Maybe and maybe not, I would suggest mostly not. How people 'invest their thoughts' is no different today than in the beginning. Life has progressed, the world has progressed, population has progressed, so we are to assume what? No detailed thought, just a vague idea. I really have no idea what the message is supposed to be.

 

I do have an idea though.....'what' gospel has been preached? The gospel of Christ or the gospel of man?

[CoAspen]

This topic, recurring discussion,

in the Theology Forum, goes along with my question above, 'what gospel'.

[Gerr]

Simple, be relevant. Have any of those mediums, which people like to point fingers at, stayed mired in their beginning days? There is a constant 'reinvention' in order to stay current.

 

Trying to associate  'going to church' with all of the other everyday life activities as a way to explain why people are not going is lame, in my opinion.

 

Maybe and maybe not, I would suggest mostly not. How people 'invest their thoughts' is no different today than in the beginning. Life has progressed, the world has progressed, population has progressed, so we are to assume what? No detailed thought, just a vague idea. I really have no idea what the message is supposed to be.

 

I do have an idea though.....'what' gospel has been preached? The gospel of Christ or the gospel of man?

Since when did preaching the true gospel insure to acceptance by the majority?  When I left the church for a time, it was not because someone did or said something bad to me.  It was not because the Church was answering questions nobody was asking.  I left in response to the world beckoning me.  I suspect many who are leaving today were/are in the same boat I was in.  And as in the parable of the sower, many are leaving because the Seed could not take deep root because of a stony ground.  In the other instance, the Seed was choked by the weeds.

[Live4Him]

Why I left the church for years? Because of hypocrisy. People preaching the health message and not living it, teaching that we are to separate from the world while they listen to and watch hours of the world every day in music and tv. The boys dean 20 years ago at Highland Academy was playing Beach Boys and other rock artists over the speakers in the boys dormitory while he danced around the lobby but I was terrible because I listened to heavy metal... same poison just a different variety. Why are churches empty and only "blue hairs" in attendance? Because when people come to church and see a congregation that is living no different than the world, what is the point? They don't need the church to live like the world. Instead of sounding the trumpet we are to busy beating the drum and we are still asleep. If we lived like Christ and preached the Law and Gospel with equal force like we are supposed to we would see an explosion in our numbers like in apostolic times. But we are to busy playing club music and setting up images to the beast with things like Sunday "surge" services. Teaching false doctrine in our seminary's as well as allowing the homosexual agenda to infiltrate our schools. Fortunately God was patient with me and brought me back to the church. although it took years. It is distressing to see the filth and garbage happening in God's church but at least I now understand that this is something that the Bible as well as the SOP predict will happen. I would just like to encourage those with an honest heart to study and understand the things that are happening in many of our churches today are not ok. If you are truly interested in keeping people in the church then throw out the world and live for Christ with your whole heart and your church will be full. Now is the time to prepare for eternity and you cannot prepare while living like the world.

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

you can't bring people into a church, unless you're willing to step out of a church...

[Sojourner]

Its interesting to look at the fastest growing churches to see what they are doing and look at why it is that they are growing. My information is that Pentecostals as a group of denominations are growing the fastest, then the Seventh-day Adventist church is next followed by other evangelical denominations. 

 

I take the point above that those churches that are focused on Social Justice issues are plummneting in membership the fastest, that has been brought up in church growth conferences here in Australia as well. 

 

My view is that the reason is because if you join a Pentecostal or an Adventist church, they have strong theological doctrines and share a basis in the Holiness movement where growing in Christ is equated with change in your life. People are looking for answers and find them in churches where they have a standard for people to live their lives to. I think that actually attracts people to these churches as opposed to turning them away from it. 

 

Conversely if the church stands for nothing, or it is not clear what they actually stand for, the motivation to go to their meetings becomes clouded. If I have no need to change any area of my life - can continue to live in adultery or being addicted to enslaving substances and so forth, why bother to actually attend, why not simply sleep in and watch the football instead?

One of the things that convinces me of this is the account of the woman caught in Adultery and the reaction of Christ to her. His response was "Go and sin no more", He did not say "Go and find a Liberal Synagogue and be supported in your lifestyle and choices until you are ready to change". As is the popular belief in many declining churches today. 

Adventists, Pentecostals, other Evangelicals preach the same message and live that message in their congregations. I think there is much more interest in that message from people that are searching for God than what people in church leaderships may think. 

[CoAspen]

 

 He did not say "Go and find a Liberal Synagogue and be supported in your lifestyle and choices until you are ready to change". As is the popular belief in many declining churches today. 

 

Can you give us letter, verse and chapter from the 'churches' you are talking about? Tis not honest to make such a statement unless one can provide proof.........oh silly me, you were just stateing an opinion! Repeating of such statements does not make them truth.

[thx4mercy]

you can't bring people into a church, unless you're willing to step out of a church...

 

Pam, would you explain your comment to me.  Maybe I'm the only one who needs explanation.

[thx4mercy]

I would just like to encourage those with an honest heart to study and understand the things that are happening in many of our churches today are not ok......Now is the time to prepare for eternity and you cannot prepare while living like the world.

 

I agree with all of your post, not just the above.

[JoeMo]

Live4Himsays:

"I would just like to encourage those with an honest heart to study and understand the things that are happening in many of our churches today are not ok."

 

Would I be taking liberties to revise this to say "... the things that are happening in many of our churches many people who go to church do today are not ok."

 

There is a difference between what the people are doing and what the church standards are - always has been.  In my 65 years in 4 different Christian denominations, I have never witnessed the majority of people living up to all of the standards of the church.  I confess that I don't consistently live up to the light that I have.  So what is the church supposed to do - disfellowship or excommunicate all of the people who don't live up to all of the standards?  Shun all of the people that have a life-long sinful habits and addictions until they are "cured" and have demonstrated their reformation?  Talk about empty churches!

 

Is the church a "safe haven for saints" or a "hospital for sinners"?  I thought Jesus accepted us as we are; and then His grace works on us from the inside out to change our sinful inclinations to righteous ones (as a lifelong process - not in an instant of time).  If we have to live up to all of God's standards before we come to Jesus, heaven will be more empty than the churches.

[Sojourner]

 

Can you give us letter, verse and chapter from the 'churches' you are talking about? Tis not honest to make such a statement unless one can provide proof.........oh silly me, you were just stateing an opinion! Repeating of such statements does not make them truth.

Knock yourself out http://www.mccsydney.org/ 

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

Pam, would you explain your comment to me.  Maybe I'm the only one who needs explanation.

 

If you never step out of a church, you'll only find yourself surrounded by generally like-minded individuals.  In order to spread the gospel, folks need to be willing to take a walk beyond the borders of the church - into the "wilderness" where the general populace lives.  That means to live among them (as Jesus did), to talk to them (as Jesus did), to eat with them (as Jesus did), and to be their friend (as Jesus did).

 

Since this thread involves the SDA denomination, I'll be more blunt:  Too many members of the SDA faith have built barriers, usually unwittingly, in reaching non-Christians or those of other faiths.  Such barriers can include the view that whoever doesn't believe "our way" is somehow inferior, "dirty," "untouchable," or "lost".... those views, while generally not overtly spoken, are very apparent to others.  Such mindsets have a tendency to push people away from Christ, rather than bring them closer.  Such views also involve comparing one's own spiritual life to someone else's.... and finding someone else's is "lacking"...  

 

Much better to focus on individuals as "God's children"... show them you care.  Be a friend.  Find commonalities rather than differences.  Be someone who shines a light, rather than someone who goes about with a moral candle-snuffer...

[LifeHiscost]

If you never step out of a church, you'll only find yourself surrounded by generally like-minded individuals.  In order to spread the gospel, folks need to be willing to take a walk beyond the borders of the church - into the "wilderness" where the general populace lives.  That means to live among them (as Jesus did), to talk to them (as Jesus did), to eat with them (as Jesus did), and to be their friend (as Jesus did).

Is that the reason only eight entered the ark after 120 years of preaching by the prophet Noah?

 

…25"But first He must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation. 26" And just as it happened in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: 27they were eating, they were drinking, they were marrying, they were being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all.…Luke 17

 

…30"But he said, 'No, father Abraham, but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent!' 31"But he said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be persuaded even if someone rises from the dead.'"Luke 6

 

God is Love!  Jesus saves! 

[CoAspen]

Welcome to MCC Sydney. Today over 50000 people worship in MCCs around the world. In the words of our current Moderator, Reverend Nancy Wilson, MCC 'tears down walls and builds up hope'. MCC Sydney has run for nearly 40 years.

We have built a house of worship for the loud and proud, the lost, the lonely and the enquiring alike. We have welcomed those with families and those without. We have catered to women and men who have felt alienated by other churches. We have supported beloved friends who are living with HIV. We have welcomed refugees, new migrants and visitors from abroad.

Since the late 90's we have been blessed to own our own permanent place of worship, including our main worship space, known as the Sanctuary, and our adjoining Community Room.

The Spirit truly does move at MCC Sydney. We are committed to teaching and learning the message of Christ, to helping each other learn and grow with God and to spreading the gospel in a supportive, non-bullying manner.

"I will put my laws in their minds, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be My people."

At MCC Sydney, you are loved, you are accepted and you are free.

 

My Question to you is......Have you even read what is on the website?? It does not support your opinion in any way!!

I have a feeling that because the welcome 'homosexuals' they are condoning their life style. Maybe you should ask the pastor what they teach if you think that. Their posted statement abut the law doesn't support your viewpoint either. Or maybe you don't like their inclusive style. I am certainly glad Christ is inclusive.

[CoAspen]

LH, Did you read or understand what Rudy posted? Your reply was some cut and paste, no context, and not related to what she said, although I'm sure you 'hoped' it would.

[bonnie]

 

Article said:  "Could the answer to the spiritual malaise infecting society have little to do with the inadequacies of everyone and everything else, and all to do with how we choose to invest our thoughts?"

 

Whoaaaa!!!!!  He's going to step on some toes here.  But I think the author is making a very good point in the article.  How can reverant worship before a Holy God possibly keep the interest and attention like TV, movies and the internet can?

 

As to JoeMo's comment about "Just because they're not in church...."   I believe that the majority who quit going to church are not generally developing a closer walk with God.  My personal experience in the past of being "out" for a number of years could have been an unusual case, but I don't think so.

 

 

 

 

One could get the idea the church doesn't do much that is right.

[whbae]

Since this is the topic why you really left the church, I would like to post my wife's experience.

I was born and raised in a SDA family.  When I met my wife through a friend of mine she realized that I  would not marry anyone who is not a SDA, she studied the Bible and got baptized.  After  a several years she was discouraged and stop going to church.  These are her own experience.  She was working as a RN in our SDA hospital operating room, as she did not speak English too well(she came from Norway not long ago) she kept to herself at work. The nurses toward end of the shift gather together to socialize with the doctors in the operating room. She was left with all the cleaning of instruments alone.  This happened day after day.  She used to come home crying.  Then, we moved to where we live now.  She continued to attend church with family. One day she was helping out the ladies at the church who were catering the wedding to raise money for the carpet. She went to help them despite her fractured wrist and she did what she can.  The ladies knew  my wife was in pain from the wrist.  When  the wedding ceremony started all the women left to see the ceremony and asked my wife to cut up all the fruits despite the pain.  She finished the job with flowing tears in her eyes from pain.  

So, this was the end of her attendance to our church.  I admit that her faith was not rooted deeply into her mind.  It is human mind to look at the fellow human being.  She told me "you SDAs are phony christians, when I worked in a catholic hospital or a community hospital the nurses were very nice to me".

Do we have any lesson to learn here?

 

Won

[CoAspen]

I would not question your wifes faith at all, that is what she experienced, taht is what she felt and that is what she saw. Why would she or anyone want to continue to be part of such an organization? Belonging to a .org is not a testament to the amount of 'faith'  one has. We all look at our fellow believers, and I would say for her to continue to look the other way or ignore how she was treated is not real life.

 

Very sorry to hear that happened to her and yes there is a lesson there for us, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Hopefully her faith in God continues strong.

[Gregory Matthews]

Whabae:

 

Unfortunately, sometimes our congregations are not welcoming places where people can grow spiritually.

 

All I can say is:  That is a reality. I am sorry. 

[LifeHiscost]

Do we have any lesson to learn here?

 

Won

Yes! The devil is much better at socializing and giving his "helps"  than the servants of the Lord are at sharing the Lord's helps. Often times individuals aren't on top of the hurts of others, no matter who they serve. I agree with Gregory. That's reality. I take comfort from this promise,

 

28And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 29For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;…Romans 8

 

God is Love!  Jesus saves! 

[Sojourner]

Welcome to MCC Sydney. Today over 50000 people worship in MCCs around the world. In the words of our current Moderator, Reverend Nancy Wilson, MCC 'tears down walls and builds up hope'. MCC Sydney has run for nearly 40 years.

We have built a house of worship for the loud and proud, the lost, the lonely and the enquiring alike. We have welcomed those with families and those without. We have catered to women and men who have felt alienated by other churches. We have supported beloved friends who are living with HIV. We have welcomed refugees, new migrants and visitors from abroad.

Since the late 90's we have been blessed to own our own permanent place of worship, including our main worship space, known as the Sanctuary, and our adjoining Community Room.

The Spirit truly does move at MCC Sydney. We are committed to teaching and learning the message of Christ, to helping each other learn and grow with God and to spreading the gospel in a supportive, non-bullying manner.

"I will put my laws in their minds, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be My people."

At MCC Sydney, you are loved, you are accepted and you are free.

 

My Question to you is......Have you even read what is on the website?? It does not support your opinion in any way!!

I have a feeling that because the welcome 'homosexuals' they are condoning their life style. Maybe you should ask the pastor what they teach if you think that. Their posted statement abut the law doesn't support your viewpoint either. Or maybe you don't like their inclusive style. I am certainly glad Christ is inclusive.

 

You might want to look into their historical background, they openly advocate as a group for Gay Marriage in the community, for GBLT people to serve as Ministers in churches and have their own float in the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in Sydney. They teach openly in their congregation that it is not sinful and perfectly acceptable and natural to live this lifestyle.  

Do you understand what they mean by being an "Affirming" church? 

From their website, 

"Metropolitan Community Church Sydney (MCC)is an inclusive and affirming church open to all people regardless of race, gender, or sexuality. MCC proclaims the goodness of human sexuality and calls all people into a life giving relationship with God through our Saviour Jesus Christ. MCC has a special affirming outreach to the Gay, Lesbian and Transgender communities and proudly celebrates the goodness of GLBT sexuality. MCC provides a safe faith home for all people regardless of background".

[LifeHiscost]

MCC has a special affirming outreach to the Gay, Lesbian and Transgender communities and proudly celebrates the goodness of GLBT sexuality. MCC provides a safe faith home for all people regardless of background".

3Dear friends, I had been eagerly planning to write to you about the salvation we all share. But now I find that I must write about something else, urging you to defend the faith that God has entrusted once for all time to his holy people. 4I say this because some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives. The condemnation of such people was recorded long ago, for they have denied our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.

5So I want to remind you, though you already know these things, that Jesus^b first rescued the nation of Israel from Egypt, but later he destroyed those who did not remain faithful. 6And I remind you of the angels who did not stay within the limits of authority God gave them but left the place where they belonged. God has kept them securely chained in prisons of darkness, waiting for the great day of judgment. 7And don’t forget Sodom and Gomorrah and their neighboring towns, which were filled with immorality and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the eternal fire of God’s judgment.

8In the same way, these people—who claim authority from their dreams—live immoral lives, defy authority, and scoff at supernatural beings.^c 9But even Michael, one of the mightiest of the angels,^d did not dare accuse the devil of blasphemy, but simply said, “The Lord rebuke you!” (This took place when Michael was arguing with the devil about Moses’ body.) 10But these people scoff at things they do not understand. Like unthinking animals, they do whatever their instincts tell them, and so they bring about their own destruction. 11What sorrow awaits them! For they follow in the footsteps of Cain, who killed his brother. Like Balaam, they deceive people for money. And like Korah, they perish in their rebellion.

12When these people eat with you in your fellowship meals commemorating the Lord’s love, they are like dangerous reefs that can shipwreck you....Jude 1

 

God is Love!  Jesus saves!