Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted July 31, 2015 Members Share Posted July 31, 2015 Elsewhere a question was asked regarding what to do about a non-SDA family member whose actions are not in line with mainstream Adventism. I'd like to pursue that topic a bit. When I was growing up, the only SDAs in my family were my mom, my brother, and me. Other relatives were Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, Mennonite, or Lutheran. Some claimed no religion. There were often times when heavy alcohol drinking, smoking, and whatnot was done when we visited. However, the only time any of the three of us said anything was to my grandparents who both smoked...and then it was only me and my brother who spoke up. Mind you, we were probably 7 and 8 yrs old, but we told them they shouldn't smoke. Grandpa quit, but Grandma "sneaked" smokes, though she didn't smoke nearly as much. As far as drinking, "unclean food," or bad language, etc, went, none of us said anything. We were visitors, guests in a home .... and as such, it was not up to us to condemn them for their choices. I still don't think it's right or proper to tell anyone what they should do in a host's home. Maybe we missed a chance to "witness," but such would do no good if it alienated family members. And a person would get a reputation as a poor house guest... imho... Naomi, JoeMo and Gail 3 Quote Pam Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoAspen Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 And a person would get a reputation as a poor house guest... Being a poor house guest would not be witnessing. Be a good 'witness' is more about who we are vs what we say. brotherly love and Naomi 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outta Here Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 So, what would you do if the nonSDA relatives kept asking you to do things that weren't good to do on the Sabbath? And what if they nagged you about your religion being a nuisance to their plans? DreamWeaver 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outta Here Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 (edited) Re: The Wanderer's comments...nevermind...not worth that discussion...again. Edited July 31, 2015 by Aubrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted July 31, 2015 Author Members Share Posted July 31, 2015 I can't ever remember a relative even remotely suggesting that my religion caused a crimp in their plans. But then, I can't think of anything they had planned that would somehow be wrong to do on the Sabbath.. Naomi and Outta Here 2 Quote Pam Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members phkrause Posted July 31, 2015 Members Share Posted July 31, 2015 Elsewhere a question was asked regarding what to do about a non-SDA family member whose actions are not in line with mainstream Adventism. I'd like to pursue that topic a bit. When I was growing up, the only SDAs in my family were my mom, my brother, and me. Other relatives were Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, Mennonite, or Lutheran. Some claimed no religion. There were often times when heavy alcohol drinking, smoking, and whatnot was done when we visited. However, the only time any of the three of us said anything was to my grandparents who both smoked...and then it was only me and my brother who spoke up. Mind you, we were probably 7 and 8 yrs old, but we told them they shouldn't smoke. Grandpa quit, but Grandma "sneaked" smokes, though she didn't smoke nearly as much. As far as drinking, "unclean food," or bad language, etc, went, none of us said anything. We were visitors, guests in a home .... and as such, it was not up to us to condemn them for their choices. I still don't think it's right or proper to tell anyone what they should do in a host's home. Maybe we missed a chance to "witness," but such would do no good if it alienated family members. And a person would get a reputation as a poor house guest... imho... Very good questions Pam, I agree. Our biggest witness that we can give to others is out behavior. I would say that if asked why we don't do certain things, than we can speak up and say what we believe and leave it at that. Must relatives, friends, etc., will have much more respect for what we believe it we actually walk the talk Naomi and DreamWeaver 2 Quote phkrause By the decree enforcing the institution of the papacy in violation of the law of God, our nation will disconnect herself fully from righteousness. When Protestantism shall stretch her hand across the gulf to grasp the hand of the Roman power, when she shall reach over the abyss to clasp hands with spiritualism, when, under the influence of this threefold union, our country shall repudiate every principle of its Constitution as a Protestant and republican government, and shall make provision for the propagation of papal falsehoods and delusions, then we may know that the time has come for the marvelous working of Satan and that the end is near. {5T 451.1} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted July 31, 2015 Administrators Share Posted July 31, 2015 The difference between a smoker and a gossiper is that you can smell the smoker. When in my home I expect those who wish to smoke, etc to go to the deck .... when I am a guest in their home, if I don't feel comfortable with the activities I can find polite, respectful reasons to go to their deck or leave to take care of some unforeseen personal issues. In my home, If the language becomes colorful or jokes inappropriate (which is rare) I will laugh and say, "I can't believe my ears" or "Wow, I am too young for this crowd" ..... Actions speak louder than words!! I really haven't ran into any issues with doing things unacceptable to my beliefs on my Sabbath. There have been times when in the planning stage that have respectfully declined due to prior commitments .... activities at church ... Sabbath afternoon nap time (hehehe) Would you attend a wedding on the Sabbath???? Gail and JoeMo 2 Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted July 31, 2015 Administrators Share Posted July 31, 2015 So, what would you do if the nonSDA relatives kept asking you to do things that weren't good to do on the Sabbath? And what if they nagged you about your religion being a nuisance to their plans? I am sure that that is a difficult situation for you. I can only speak from experience about half of my relatives are not SDA. Most are Catholics. At times in the past there have been times when I would respectfully decline and explain that it is my Sabbath but I would be happy to join them around 6 or 7 or 8 (when ever sundown occurs). If they attempted to persuade me I would just smile and say something off the wall about it being really nice for my company to be desired but seriously NO thanks. Outta Here 1 Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeMo Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Would you attend a wedding on the Sabbath???? I absolutely would attend a wedding (or a funeral) on Sabbath. Sabbath is meant to be a day of fellowship with God, family, and community. IMHO, if someone important to me is celebrating an important life event, it is legalism to use the Sabbath as an excuse not to participate. But that's just me. In a previous life, I was a "Taliban" Adventist, rebuking my family for going to church on Sunday, Eating ham at Easter, drinking, smoking, etc. Didn't help family relations. Just stopping the rebuking changed everything. People "know" to go outside and smoke almost everywhere now - whether at church or a non-believer's house. If things get unsavory where I am visiting, I can be like Naomi and "remember" something urgent that needs to be taken care of right away; or develop sudden gastrointestinal distress and go in the bathroom until the unsavoriness passes.. rudywoofs (Pam) and Naomi 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GayatfootofCross Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I absolutely would attend a wedding (or a funeral) on Sabbath. Sabbath is meant to be a day of fellowship with God, family, and community. IMHO, if someone important to me is celebrating an important life event, it is legalism to use the Sabbath as an excuse not to participate. But that's just me. In a previous life, I was a "Taliban" Adventist, rebuking my family for going to church on Sunday, Eating ham at Easter, drinking, smoking, etc. Didn't help family relations. Just stopping the rebuking changed everything. People "know" to go outside and smoke almost everywhere now - whether at church or a non-believer's house. . Hi! I hope this posts finds you well. uhh.. I was the same exact way! and... I was running scared! I couldn't relax! GBU! Quote For all Eternity God waited in anticipation for You to show up to give You a Message - YOUR INCLUDED !!! { a merry dance }?️? " If you tarry 'til you're better You will never come at all " .. "I Will Rise" by the late great saved Glen Campbell If your picture of God is starting to feel too good to be true, you're starting to move in the right direction. "My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite." Romeo and Juliet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members phkrause Posted July 31, 2015 Members Share Posted July 31, 2015 Would you attend a wedding on the Sabbath???? I have attended a few weddings on the Sabbath. Pretty much all my niece's got married on Sabbath. None of them are SDA. I looked at it as, this is something that was acceptable to God. Since he instituted this at creation. I just didn't participate in some of the activities. Naomi and DreamWeaver 2 Quote phkrause By the decree enforcing the institution of the papacy in violation of the law of God, our nation will disconnect herself fully from righteousness. When Protestantism shall stretch her hand across the gulf to grasp the hand of the Roman power, when she shall reach over the abyss to clasp hands with spiritualism, when, under the influence of this threefold union, our country shall repudiate every principle of its Constitution as a Protestant and republican government, and shall make provision for the propagation of papal falsehoods and delusions, then we may know that the time has come for the marvelous working of Satan and that the end is near. {5T 451.1} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D_Bishop Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I was invited to an extended family photo shoot last Saturday. The event was scheduled right at the time worship started at my church. I went to church. Schedule conflicts like this happen all the time. Saturday is viewed by the majority none sabbath keepers as the great utility day. They schedule all types of events on the sabbath day that they dare not attend on Sunday. Funerals, more funerals, weddings, family reunions, parades, graduations, you name it. If I attended every special event scheduled on Saturday that I have been invited to I never would go to church. I would not have time to. DreamWeaver 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outta Here Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 That's the sort of thing my family does. Then, if I say I can't or won't...the eyes roll, the heads turn, and the snarky "Sorry, we forgot about your precious Sabbath..." Eventually I just caved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted August 1, 2015 Author Members Share Posted August 1, 2015 it's taken me six decades to assert my life is not going to be ruled by the standards, dictates, or opinions of others... never, ever again... Lauralea, JoeMo, Gail and 3 others 6 Quote Pam Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauralea Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 (edited) That's the sort of thing my family does. Then, if I say I can't or won't...the eyes roll, the heads turn, and the snarky "Sorry, we forgot about your precious Sabbath..." Eventually I just caved. It can be hard with those who do not share our beliefs and are family or close friends. For me, things that I do not see as an issue I will do on Sabbath, like going to a family reunion (even though family members drink at other times, our reunions do not involve people getting intoxicated) or a wedding. If I feel something would be wrong to do, I as a rule avoid it. If people are mean to us because we don't do what they want, are they really those we want to be closest to and cave in to? But I agree that I seldom mention what people are doing that is not what I believe, except occasionally regarding smoking with those I am close to and genuinely concerned about. Edited August 1, 2015 by Lauralea Quote Behold what manner of love the Father hath given unto us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outta Here Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 It can be difficult at times. Though I don't let others rule me, I do spend my life as a servant to many of them and the choices they make often affect the decisions I make. Lauralea 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Gail Posted August 2, 2015 Administrators Share Posted August 2, 2015 It can be difficult at times. Though I don't let others rule me, I do spend my life as a servant to many of them and the choices they make often affect the decisions I make. yes, sometimes it's a judgment call. Outta Here 1 Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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