Stan Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 This happens... One of the things you can do is set the member to ignore, and you will not view their posts nor recieve messages from them. When I first joined this Church, (in the local church) it was really stressed not to be a stumbling block to others. Do not see that very often anymore. I am not saying that this is not a forum, a forum is place to exchange ideas, provide thoughts, discuss etc, that is what forums do well. BUT please be mindful of others, and don't cyber-bite people. Quote If you receive benefit to being here please help out with expenses. https://www.paypal.me/clubadventist Administrator of a few websites like https://adventistdating.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Thanks for the reminder, Stan. My head has been swimming today and I am about ready to pull out again--things just don't change. But, as I said, thanks for the gentle nudge. M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Posted April 6, 2006 Author Share Posted April 6, 2006 We usually feel safer with people that are more like us. There are a lot of different people here, some that are heros to some, are sure not to others. One person's freedom fighter is another person's terrorist. Diversity both builds a forum and kills a forum. If we fully knew the circumstances that some of people that irritate us, our hearts would just break... Quote If you receive benefit to being here please help out with expenses. https://www.paypal.me/clubadventist Administrator of a few websites like https://adventistdating.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Posted April 6, 2006 Author Share Posted April 6, 2006 ALSO sometimes we need to take a few days break from these kind of forums. Not that I want anyone to leave, but all of us, including myself, just need a break sometimes. Quote If you receive benefit to being here please help out with expenses. https://www.paypal.me/clubadventist Administrator of a few websites like https://adventistdating.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted April 6, 2006 Administrators Share Posted April 6, 2006 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> Stan Jensen said: ALSO sometimes we need to take a few days break from these kind of forums. Not that I want anyone to leave, but all of us, including myself, just need a break sometimes. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> and, <img src="/ubbtreads/images/graemlins/Group.gif" alt="" /> say, AMEN and AMEN Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 [tags on ...] *wondering what I did NOW*!!! Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fran Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Hey, Nico! It is me! I am the mysterious one, No one knows me as me. I find it amusing at times. Besides, I am the "Queen of Gregory's Black Hole". Do we get points for that? My Bio should say "Shock & Awe"! Nico, it can't be you, nope? Quote The greatest want of the world is the want of men who will not be bought or sold, men who in their inmost souls are true & honest, men who do not fear to call sin by its right name, men whose conscience is as true to duty..., men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall.{Ed 57.3} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Gregory Matthews Posted April 6, 2006 Moderators Share Posted April 6, 2006 I only put valued people in my Black Hole. If you would like to join Fran, send me a request, I will evaulate it, and if I decide you qualify, I will reserve you a place. Do tell me how close to Fran you would like to sit. <img src="/ubbtreads/images/graemlins/tomato.gif" alt="" /> Quote Gregory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 That's right -- UNvalued people go down the bad egg chute with Veruca Salt!!! Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pockey Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 []http://www.alicia-logic.com/capsimages/ww_053.jpg[/] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Quote: Stan Jensen said: If we fully knew the circumstances that some of people that irritate us, our hearts would just break... Stan This could not have been stated any better. Very well said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Quote: Stan Jensen said: This happens... When I first joined this Church, (in the local church) it was really stressed not to be a stumbling block to others. Do not see that very often anymore. Here's one thing we ALL can do: Cluebrick #1: If someone tells you, outright, that the way you are treating them is not welcome, don't argue the matter. Just stop treating them that way. It's THAT SIMPLE. Don't argue that you're justified, that you have the "right", that they are immoral or flawed somehow for having a problem with it, etc. etc. ad nauseum. Just simply knock it off. It's that easy. Because let's face it: you are NOT justified; you do NOT have the "right," and news flash: they are NOT supremely immoral or flawed for having a problem with it. No more than you are for doing it. So JUST KNOCK IT OFF, it's THAT SIMPLE. I look at it this way. Everyone has "buttons" that can be pushed -- that is, areas and ways in which they can be provoked to a negative reaction. Cluebrick #2: It's a lot easier for the one pushing buttons to stop doing so than for the one being pushed & provoked to expend the emotional energy and effort (very exhausting) it takes to "manage" his "reaction" or to not "react", to wrestle over what he SHOULD say back or not, to wrangle over how he will sound, etc. etc. Therefore the responsibility should lie with the instigator, not the recipient. CEASE PUSHING BUTTONS IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMEONE'S REACTION. It's THAT SIMPLE. Not doing so is NOT demonstrating the person you're provoking to be "worse" than you or everything you accuse them of being. It is only demonstrating yourself to be a bully, abuser, and general donkey's behind. And guess what? Everyone can see it. No one is fooled but yourself, so stop making a fool of yourself: stop pushing others' buttons and provoking them. The choice is YOURS to make -- not theirs to pretend nothing is happening. That's abuser-think: suffer in silence for my pleasure/convenience. Stay tuned for more cluebricks to come ... Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Cluebrick #3: Learn to recognize classic types of manipulation. Another member on here has brought out something called the triangle of manipulation (I think?) which describes three types of manipulator ploys: The Controller, The Rescuer, and The Victim. A manipulator may ping-pong between all three, starting with the Controller (trying to control what you do, how you think, how you feel, etc.), then ricocheting to the Victim ("how could you respond that way to MEEE?") and off to the Rescuer ("...when I was only trying to HELP you see _________") Arguing with a manipulator about their manipulation just goes round and round the mulberry bush and gets nowhere except generates a lot of heat. So calling them on it usually doesn't do much good. One suggestion for dealing with the Controller style of manipulation is to simply tell them, "NO." No explanation, no analysis, no elaborate defenses of your no, just "no." Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Cluebrick #4 As Stan has already mentioned -- a few days' break from internet forums completely can work wonders when your spirit is getting knocked out of whack from the verbal fisticuffs. Take a few days off from forums. Don't visit at all -- don't post and don't even read them. Go out in the fresh air and sunshine! Engage with the real world and in-person people around you. When you come back to the forums it will be with a fresh perspective and things that bothered you supremely before will not seem very consequential. Try it, it works!! Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kountzer Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 I saw this on the auto msg. 'incident' with the legal folks at GC. What happened?? Darryl B Quote I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs. Frederick Douglass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 I'm not sure. Stan would be the one to ask. There was a thread about trademark issues somewhere on the board too; maybe the message intended to point there instead of here? Again, don't know. Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil D Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Quote: BUT please be mindful of others, and don't cyber-bite people. Butt Stan, SOME people just tastes good when you bite into them...soft and crunchy, with juices flowing...Add a bit of Mrs Dash [Or Margret Gray] and you've got a great cyber-meal that you can really sink your teeth into! Why, I have been known to add some very vegan spices to the mix and come up with some really great dishes/discussions.... And if you add some non-vegan ingrediants, like a bit of wine with some cheese, the meals are just fantastic. Some people pepper thier meals with some really hot topics, and create some jalepeno dish that literally can be too hot to handle...for some individuals. While I have mentioned the hot/spicey dishes, I am learning that there are some cool to cold responses that can make for some interesting desserts. A cold shoulder can be a great way to flavor a snack. Of course, if eating all this disagrees with your pallet, you might just want to get away from the ciber-cafe and get out to exercise... And where IS Suzanne, our ClubAdventist nutritionist who can give tips on maintaining your weight...? Quote Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. George Bernard Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted April 8, 2006 Members Share Posted April 8, 2006 Quote: Neil D said: Quote: BUT please be mindful of others, and don't cyber-bite people. Butt Stan, SOME people just tastes good when you bite into them...soft and crunchy, with juices flowing...Add a bit of Mrs Dash [Or Margret Gray] and you've got a great cyber-meal that you can really sink your teeth into! Why, I have been known to add some very vegan spices to the mix and come up with some really great dishes/discussions.... And if you add some non-vegan ingrediants, like a bit of wine with some cheese, the meals are just fantastic. Some people pepper thier meals with some really hot topics, and create some jalepeno dish that literally can be too hot to handle...for some individuals. While I have mentioned the hot/spicey dishes, I am learning that there are some cool to cold responses that can make for some interesting desserts. A cold shoulder can be a great way to flavor a snack. Of course, if eating all this disagrees with your pallet, you might just want to get away from the ciber-cafe and get out to exercise... And where IS Suzanne, our ClubAdventist nutritionist who can give tips on maintaining your weight...? and you *have* perfected the recipes. []http://image.inkfrog.com/pix/Rudywoofs/asthanos.gif[/] Quote Pam Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil D Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Quote: rudywoofs said: Quote: Neil D said: Quote: BUT please be mindful of others, and don't cyber-bite people. Butt Stan, SOME people just tastes good when you bite into them...soft and crunchy, with juices flowing... [bold][snip] [/bold] and you *have* perfected the recipes. Oh, please let me assure you, there is plenty of room to improve these famous recipies with variations!... Quote Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. George Bernard Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyberGuy Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Quote: When I first joined this Church, (in the local church) it was really stressed not to be a stumbling block to others. Do not see that very often anymore. We have seen to many people who have used that argument as a club to try to silence other peoples viewpoints claiming they are a stubling block to others etc. Because of that we tend to not have any sympathy towards those who use that line on us now. Quote Riverside CA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyberGuy Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Quote: If we fully knew the circumstances that some of people that irritate us, our hearts would just break... To many irritations and our hearts scab over from the stabs and accusations that I doubt my heart would break if I did learn. Quote Riverside CA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Quote: CyberGuy said: Quote: When I first joined this Church, (in the local church) it was really stressed not to be a stumbling block to others. Do not see that very often anymore. We have seen to many people who have used that argument as a club to try to silence other peoples viewpoints claiming they are a stubling block to others etc. Because of that we tend to not have any sympathy towards those who use that line on us now. Don't forget the other side of that coin: there are too many people who make irritants of themselves and then, when they are told they are being a stumblingblock, rather than face up and own up, cop to a plea of "you're just trying to squelch my viewpoint!" or whatever. Because of that, we tend not to take it seriously when a person who is being a stumblingblock to another uses that cop-out on us now. Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeHiscost Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Quote: Stan Jensen said: If we fully knew the circumstances that some of people that irritate us, our hearts would just break... And if our hearts should be so tender as to break with the knowledge, can we not slightly imagine how God's heart must break, being omniscient. You've been standing very close to the Lord's heart, Stan, to understand that. Thanks for reminding me, for even when I filter what others say or do, through the blood of Jesus, and recognizing His sovereignty, the old nature still surfaces at times, and the wound smarts. And O' how it can smart. [:"red"] "Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there? why then is not the health of the daughter of my people recovered?" [/] Jeremiah 8:22 KJV Praise God He has given a promise that what we sow we will also reap, meaning if I return good for evil, our Father will see that the seed of goodness will sprout and bear fruit for the glory of God. [:"red"] "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven" [/] Matthew 5:16 KJV [:"red"] "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it." [/] Isaiah 55:11 KJV Blessings!! Quote Lift Jesus up!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Quote: Stan Jensen said: This happens... One of the things you can do is set the member to ignore, and you will not view their posts nor recieve messages from them. When I first joined this Church, (in the local church) it was really stressed not to be a stumbling block to others. Do not see that very often anymore. I am not saying that this is not a forum, a forum is place to exchange ideas, provide thoughts, discuss etc, that is what forums do well. BUT please be mindful of others, and don't cyber-bite people. Stan This is not really a comment about you - but your remark about the ignore button reminds me that the "ignore button" is all too often turned on in a Church against those who don't exactly fit in. The forum makes this ignoring very easy; but what happens in a Church when someone is "ignored?" In a Jehovah's Witness setting (among others) it is called "shunning." The results are never good. No one ever learns to just deal with the problem that is causing the problem. I agree 100% with your comment re becoming a stumbling block. The last time I went to Church, two weeks ago, someone spent a lot of time/effort trying to tell me about the evils of using creams and lotions on your skin. I call guys like that "Mr Health Message." The stumbling block part comes in right at the point where I just happen to be someone who uses such things on my skin, liberally, because I have been burned severely, over a large percentage of my body in the past. You just wouldn't believe the great long explanation I got of all the horrors of doing so; including a shocking "testimony" of someone who apparently did suffer some of those horrors. I definitely did have me a small "stumble" there; and I think that if the GC or the GC Legal people have, or intend to take issue with anyone who uses the name/word "Adventist;" then it will be a similar, but much more severe "stumbling block." Your concern there is very valid - "even today." BTW, another person more than made up for this stumbling block by just coming up to me and greeting me enthusiastically, and showing care and concern in a friendly, unfeigned way. It was a real bright spot in that visit to Church. We need more of these kinds of "building blocks" to replace all the "stumbling blocks;" both on the forums and in the Churches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeHiscost Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Quote: Stan Jensen said: BUT please be mindful of others, and don't cyber-bite people. [:"red"] "He said to them, Because of the hardness (stubbornness and perversity) of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss and repudiate and divorce... but from the beginning it has not been so [ordained]." [/] Matthew 19:8 AMP [:"red"] " For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh." [/] Galatians 5:14-16 NASB Emphasis theirs LHC Quote Lift Jesus up!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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