Administrators Gail Posted August 8, 2006 Administrators Share Posted August 8, 2006 I was going to comment on Shane's topic but I think he was heading in a different direction... I just discovered that a kid that my daughter grew up with has now become (in her words) a party animal This boy comes from a strict home with older parents, was homeschooled as a child and graduated from a self-supporting school The last time I talked to him he wanted to go to missionary college. What he ended up doing was getting a job with other Adventist kids working for an Adventist company. And now this surprising news Anybody know anyone like that, who was raised in a good Christian home and just went wild with freedom? Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cricket Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 I know of several. Why is it surprising? The good news is that most of the people I know of have eventually turned back toward living a godly life. Train up a child... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bevin Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> Anybody know anyone like that, who was raised in a good Christian home and just went wild with freedom? <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> Many - or few - depending on what you mean by a good Christian home I know many who were raised in strict Christian homes. The kids did not internalise the reasons for the rules. I also know kids who were raised in non-Christian homes who did develop a strong moral compass. There were three things that worked in our house with our three girls 1 - We never said "no", we said "no because the consequences would be..." 2 - We always said "our job is to get you to 18 with a healthy mind and a healthy body, after that you are in control of your life" 3 - We backed off the rules steadily throughout their lives, so that before they left home they were already making their own choices about everything from clothes to friends to studies Then again, we might just have been lucky! /Bevin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shane Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Legalism is one extreame of the spectrum and those caught up in it are lost, perhaps more so, than those that don't know God. Saddly I believe that many youth believe God's law is right, but when they are taught it in a legalistic way, they come to a point where they realize they can never measure up and figure they may as well give up. Why struggle and struggle and struggle if one is going to be lost anyway? The "unhealthy recreation" is the result or symptom of a greater problem and not the central issue itself. Quote Pastoral Family Counselor... Find me at www.PostumCafe.com Author of Peculiar Christianity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Anyone raised to submit to others' authority rather than to learn to govern himself with proper values will "run wild" once given the chance to make his own decisions. That is because he recognizes the fatal flaw of the former: no one but himself can actually "MAKE" him do ANYTHING. All parents, teachers, etc. can do is punish and reward, guide and instruct. They cannot make the actual decision themselves. Therefore the proper way to rear a child is always with the goal and eventuality in view that the child must learn to become self-governing. In many Christian homes this single, central fact is lost sight of under the false pieties of "obedience" and the bald misconception that self-government is the rallying cry of the evil one. Self-government is, in fact, our divine birthright, and woe to any who fail to recognize it as such. Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pacunurse30 Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Hmmm, do I know anyone like that? (thinking very hard) Oh yeah! ME! LOL I can tell you some good stories about PKs (pastor's kids if you aren't familiar with that term). They were often the best dancers at the parties. They sometimes threw the wildest parties (drugs, alcohol, sex). They often had a reputation for being loose (ie sleeping around). The devil is busy in the homes of God fearing people. I can attest to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clio Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 The devil is busy in the homes of God fearing people. I can attest to that. It is always so. He doesn't need to worry about the lost, they are already his. The Adversary needs only to focus his attention on those who might otherwise escape his snares. Thus are we beset with trials, temptations, and deceptions, when our chances of salvation are at their peak. Clio Quote A heart where He alone has first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Jeannieb43 Posted August 24, 2007 Moderators Share Posted August 24, 2007 This boy comes from a strict home with older parents, was homeschooled as a child and graduated from a self-supporting school The last time I talked to him he wanted to go to missionary college. These words leaped off the page at me. Much as I don't approve of some of the things children/teenagers learn in school [even in SDA schools], I feel it's risky business to homeschool your children then send them to a self-supporting academy. I realize there are USUALLY good results from both of these. But homeschooling takes a great deal of skill. Unless one has been taught how to teach, it's pretty risky, IMHO. And then, much as the smaller, self-supporting schools are well-intended, my experience has been that they're usually established by rigid rules-based staff who "lay down the law" for the students and don't allow any margin for error. No room for the students to begin to make their own mistakes while growing up. This young man had probably never had the opportunity to think for himself until he was released and on his own. He didn't have the experience of saying No to temptations he'd never experienced before. Here again, just my 2 cents. [On the other hand, I shed many tears while my boys were growing up. They had their own periods of rebellion, but thankfully God brought them through, and they're upstanding pillars of the community now. So there's no guarantee, in any case.] Quote Jeannie<br /><br /><br />...Change is inevitable; growth is optional.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrWhoCompanion Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 My husband was raised hardcore Adventist and went to boarding school. He went through a "wild" phase (that's all I'll say...I'm protected by the Constitution from incriminating my spouse!) His upbringing rubbed off and now he is the very model of a modern Christian husband/father. (Apologies to Mssrs. Gilbert and Sullivan.) He is steadfast and loyal and generous and godly. You couldn't ask for a better life-partner! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators james423 Posted October 6, 2007 Moderators Share Posted October 6, 2007 "No room for the students to begin to make their own mistakes while growing up" Yes, this can be true at a self-supporting academy - and a regular conference academy as well. I've been a staff member at both types and seen legalistic staff members at both types, too. My question is simply this - do we really want our children (I've had two) making their own mistakes with some of the high-powered issues confronting teens today? These issues include freely-available hardcore drugs, sex with either sex whenever and wherever and however they want it, and music that leads to the first two items I've listed. All three of these areas are part of a "normal" teen scene in certain geographical localities. There is a body of research that seems to indicate that teens are not really capable of making sound decisions in certain lifestyle areas. This is the reason why at least U.S. law insists that teens be given certain legal protections until they are at least 18. I remember one pastor whose two teenagers we had as students that remarked that he was glad that his two teens were not exposed to these temptations until they were really old enough physically and legally to decide. Teens should be allowed to think, but to hand them the full set of keys to their life right off the bat seems to me to be rather foolish. Quote James Brenneman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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