Dr. Shane Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Aliensanctuary: </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> Churches create an artificial environment of superficial or pseudo-friendship. We say the usual "Hi, how are you?" to all the people surrounding us but we cannot easily see their problems or sorrows or hopes. Mass-meetings are unlikely to ever achieve this level of interaction between members. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> I thought this deserved a thread of its own. Quote Pastoral Family Counselor... Find me at www.PostumCafe.com Author of Peculiar Christianity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cricket Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 The Christian who recognizes this, however, will (should) make the effor to interact with others throughout the week. I've often wondered if heaven will be so crowded that it'll take a miracle (no pun intended) to even catch a glimpse of Jesus when He's around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whbae Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Shane, I am glad you raised this question. The church I attend have a slot during the service hour the pastor asks us to get up to greet each other. For a while the atmosphere changes to a social gathering affair. Is this a proper procedure to conduct during the hour of worship in the house of God? Sometimes, the congregation is asked to sing the "happy birthday" song to celebrate some one's 80th birthday. Is this a proper thing to do during the hour of worship of God? In my opinion, neither of above is proper or called for.The former act is a creation of a psuedo friendly affair. The latter is entirely out of step. We come to the house of God to worship God in awe and utmost respect. I feel this sort of attitute should be maintained, not disrupted during the hour of service. If some want to sincerely greet me one can do so outside the sanctuary door either before or after the service. Celebrating a one's birthday can be done during the fellowship dinner after the service which is conducted every Sabbath. It behooves us to read what Mrs. White said about "our attitute in the house of God". w Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted August 19, 2006 Members Share Posted August 19, 2006 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> whbae said:The church I attend have a slot during the service hour the pastor asks us to get up to greet each other. For a while the atmosphere changes to a social gathering affair. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> The church I was going to did the same thing. I hated being told to get up and go around saying *howdy do* to people I did not know. It made me extremely uncomfortable. Furthermore, watching people doing that just prior to the worship service always seemed inappropriate to me... Kinda like a bunch of mooing cattle playing musical chairs. <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> However, when I spoke to the powers that be in the church about it, I was told that since some people liked it, it wasn't going to change because I *didn't* - which was fine. But I don't attend there anymore. <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> ...I don't attend *anywhere* anymore.. Quote Pam      Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Gerr Posted August 19, 2006 Moderators Share Posted August 19, 2006 Is the Sabbath only for fellowship with God? Or is it meant also for fellowship with fellow believers whom I don't get to see during the week? Gerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Gerr Posted August 19, 2006 Moderators Share Posted August 19, 2006 It has the same effect on me too, but it beats the alternative, i.e. just ignoring one another or continueing as strangers to one another. Gerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members phkrause Posted August 19, 2006 Members Share Posted August 19, 2006 I agree with what you are saying, but at the same time as won is saying you do have that time before and after the worship service to speak and interact with all those that you have not seen all week. But personally I do enjoy greeting and shaking hands during the worship time. my 2 cents worth, pkrause Quote phkrause By the decree enforcing the institution of the papacy in violation of the law of God, our nation will disconnect herself fully from righteousness. When Protestantism shall stretch her hand across the gulf to grasp the hand of the Roman power, when she shall reach over the abyss to clasp hands with spiritualism, when, under the influence of this threefold union, our country shall repudiate every principle of its Constitution as a Protestant and republican government, and shall make provision for the propagation of papal falsehoods and delusions, then we may know that the time has come for the marvelous working of Satan and that the end is near. {5T 451.1} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Gerr Posted August 20, 2006 Moderators Share Posted August 20, 2006 Problem is, how many people do you know who come to church early enough & stay later enough to socialize? Gerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shane Posted August 20, 2006 Author Share Posted August 20, 2006 Most hispanic churches have a time in their service where they get up and shake hands with each other. They sing a hym while doing this that says, "dame tu mano y mi hermano será" which is "give me your hand and you'll be my brother." Quote Pastoral Family Counselor... Find me at www.PostumCafe.com Author of Peculiar Christianity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darlene Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 I don't know about shaking hands in church but today I presented the service in one of our churches about Sabbath School. In it I included a statement from Ellen White in a Review & Herald article in 1871 where she said, “We meet together to edify one another by a mutual interchange of thoughts and feelings, thus making one another acquainted with our aspirations, our hopes, and gathering strength, and light, and courage from one another.” She called Sabbath School classes “meetings for conference and prayer” and stressed that they should be “spiritual and social.” So would not Sabbath School be a place where the practise of greeting one another could be done and not in church church? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members phkrause Posted August 21, 2006 Members Share Posted August 21, 2006 Good point! Not many people come that early, but there are a few. But most do stay around after church and through pot luck. And of course there's in between ss and church (not lot there's alot of time). When I was a kid growing up in NYC and went fto church down in manhattan we used to stay for lunch and or pot luck every sabbath. Of course when your young socializing is number one. haha pkrause Quote phkrause By the decree enforcing the institution of the papacy in violation of the law of God, our nation will disconnect herself fully from righteousness. When Protestantism shall stretch her hand across the gulf to grasp the hand of the Roman power, when she shall reach over the abyss to clasp hands with spiritualism, when, under the influence of this threefold union, our country shall repudiate every principle of its Constitution as a Protestant and republican government, and shall make provision for the propagation of papal falsehoods and delusions, then we may know that the time has come for the marvelous working of Satan and that the end is near. {5T 451.1} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> Grasshopper said: The Christian who recognizes this, however, will (should) make the effor to interact with others throughout the week. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> One of the problems I see here is that generally, those who recognize this problem are those who are feeling "left out" or pushed to the periphery already (those who are part of things don't tend to notice this issue because it is not an issue for THEM) -- and when you don't feel included or part of things you are less likely to initiate social contact because you feel your presence in that regard is not as welcome as that of those who are included or already "a part of things". So the problem is, those most likely to recognize the problem do so because they are on the receiving end of it, and because they are there, they are least likely to initiate something because they don't feel themselves to be in a position to do so. Make sense? They feel like they will try only to be politely rebuffed or else politely "tolerated" but get nowhere in reality. What is needed is for those already in the middle of things to look around and initiate contact & social interaction with those who are not. End of story. Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D. Allan Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> What is needed is for those already in the middle of things to look around and initiate contact & social interaction with those who are not. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> Good idea. Maybe small groups could help by inviting those left on the fringe. D.Allan Quote dAb O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted September 4, 2006 Administrators Share Posted September 4, 2006 Just tacking on here in response to no one in particular.... We all must take resonsibility for our selves. We can't expect our spouse, mother, brother or sister to give us peace and happiness, it must come from within. Nor, can we expect our brothers & sisters in the church to read our minds and know our needs. Not everyone that we reach out to will respond. That usually has nothing to do with us but their personal issues. We are all sinners. We are all seekers. We don't "connect" with everyone, but we should treat everyone with respect. And, attempt to respect their choices. I personally prefer a hug (not a full-bodied hug) but a semi-kinda pat on the arm type hug. Not everyone does. Not everyone likes to shake hands. Usually you can read a person and know if they are open and friendly or withdrawn or send out signals that say "Leave me alone" In churches where people move around and greet each other I have observed quite a number of people who remain seated. IMHO, that's their choice. We are all different, but we are attempting to walk the Christian walk. As I get off my <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/soapbox.gif" alt="" /> I will conclude with the thought that church is a hospital for sinners. Only Jesus should be our example. Just my :2cents: Naomi Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I would also like to add that in considering these things on this thread, I'm not sure there really is a viable solution. So long as a "solution" must be devised and implemented, the result is still going to be artificial, don't you think? I mean, real friendships happen because ppl are drawn to one another, have mutual interests, share mutual concerns, there's a mutual attraction there which is natural. Deciding to "befriend" someone just because "it's the Christian thing to do" -- sure, on the surface that might be better for them than to be left in isolation or whatever -- but ultimately if it's an artificial construct to begin with what good does it really do them? Nobody wants to be a "pity case" if you get my drift. I know I would be completely turned off if I thought someone was feigning interest in me to earn brownie points for "christlikeness" rather than really caring about or being interested in me as a person!! <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted September 4, 2006 Administrators Share Posted September 4, 2006 Nico, Having a "new Comers" or "Visitors" SS Class to me is appropriate. These are usually be small. Today they are referred to as "small groups" in the past simply study groups. Somehow to me it does not seem "artificial or devised. Members of on-going, long-term groups have developed a level of understanding which would tend to leave a new person out of the loop, so to speak. When attending a new church having people greet you and offering to take you to a class, or show you where to go seems ok. Inquiring about you personally does not seem out-of-the-ordinary. It's no different than when people come to your home to welcome you when you move into a new community. IMHO it is a normal, natural act. To me that is not being done it because it is the Christian thing to do, but because it is the right thing to do. This seems usual and appropriate behavior whether one is in church, Art Club, Junior League, Toastmasters, Int'l, City Council or whereever. Welcome Wagons are a long established part of our society. Having recently moved to a small area has reiterated how people react to a new person. People have stopped by and introduced themselves. There have been people from the local churches, to the general population in this little town. Some have offered to help with labor or information. Many nice things have been done for me, and they have been greatly appreciated. The majority of these people will probably never become more than friendly acquaintances. I would think that will be due to their lifestyle and choices, as much as to mine. They did these things in part to be nice and make me feel welcome. LOL Probably some came to get the "scoop" on the new woman in the area. <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Whatever their reason, it is ok with me Even when I was buried in huge construction issues and needed a maricle,the thought never occured to me that they were doing it because I am a "pity case"; though I probably deserved pity! <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> Some of the help came when it was ok with me if it was because they felt sorry for me or saw humor in my mess. Whatever reason I thanked the people who helped, and God fo sending them ... many times! <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/bluejump.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/thankyousign.gif" alt="" /> I agree Nico, real friendships happen when ppl are drawn together due to mutual interest, etc. <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/129933-offtopic2.gif" alt="" /> In the area where I grew up taking a cake or something to eat to the new neighbors was considered the neighborly thing to do. Also, you did the same when someone was ill or a new baby was born, crops were being harvested, etc. Or, if they were really having problems you took care of their animals, etc. This was rural living. In adult life, wherever I have lived I still continue to do these things. Not with the idea or desire to go inside and visit, but just to say, "I'm thinking of you. I care." In town I have had many occasions when neighbors did things to help me when I was out of town or at work. I did things for them when they needed the assistance. To me, things of this nature makes us a civilization. I suppose, in summary, all I am trying to say is that having a plan to attempt to make a new person feel more at ease can have many labels: Christ-like, Neighborly, Welcome Committee, or just plane old fashioned caring. Real friendships take a long time to develop, acquaintances are good fillers. Sorry if I have "rambled" and hope someplace in this I have made a valid point. Naomi Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> Naomi said: It's no different than when people come to your home to welcome you when you move into a new community. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> Where do people do that? Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted September 5, 2006 Administrators Share Posted September 5, 2006 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> Nicodema said: </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> Naomi said: It's no different than when people come to your home to welcome you when you move into a new community. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> Where do people do that? <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> I can only speak for the places I have lived or know for sure, from immediate family members. But, South Padre, TX, Dallas, TX, Okla City, OK, Carney, OK, Arkansas City, KS, Wichita, KS, Lincoln, NB, Glenview,IL, White Planes, NY and Candlewood Island, CT. Oh, and Pismo Beach, CA ... people in the neighborhood get together and do a quickie drop-in with welcoming gifts. If they are invited in great, if not it's all light hearted and they continue down the street. Naomi Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cricket Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 Times must be changing. People don't do that around here. It takes years to get to know your neighbors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted September 10, 2006 Administrators Share Posted September 10, 2006 Perhaps you should start a new tradition. Might be fun <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cricket Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 I would find it to be extremely intrusive, myself. Nope. Wouldn't do that to others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted September 10, 2006 Administrators Share Posted September 10, 2006 Understood. Perhaps that is why it takes so long to get to know your neighbors. Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cricket Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 Could be! I like it that way. Same as here, and in school and at work and play--take the time to get to know others first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Naomi Posted September 10, 2006 Administrators Share Posted September 10, 2006 Then it becomes a non-issue. Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/catfight.gif" alt="" /><img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/catfight.gif" alt="" /><img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/catfight.gif" alt="" /><img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/catfight.gif" alt="" /><img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/catfight.gif" alt="" /><img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/catfight.gif" alt="" /><img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/catfight.gif" alt="" /> Stop it already!! <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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