Make the Rules

[Neil D]

Quote:

I think maybe I will retire for the night as I have been in a car accident and can no longer take the STRESS of what is going on here. The internet forum is more than just the internet as has been pointed out more than a fair number of times. This is a place for adventists to get together and share ideas.

I am sorry that you have been in a car accident. Are you ok? Well, probably you are since you are typing to us and letting us know about the accident...

Wishing you well....

[Lil Star]

Bonnie, I am not defending you as I think you are a "real" person and can probably stand up for yourself. You have done so in the past with my mom. What I feel is MY decision. If I am defending you it is only because it is the right thing to do. I have a couple friends I have made here and I think the following post or the rest of the post that I made says what I will do.

For anyone that is my friend I believe you have my email address. If not then PM me and I will give it to you that way. I do not want to have happen to me that happened in the past with my mom or Bonnie. I have learned many lessons. I feel that I should maybe try another organization that does not pretend, lie or keep posts just to stimulate viewing. I am happy in my life and the friends I have. In fact, I think it is time that I give my dear fiend a phone call as I have not talked to him all day. I miss him.

[Lil Star]

Quote:

I think maybe I will retire for the night as I have been in a car accident and can no longer take the STRESS of what is going on here. The internet forum is more than just the internet as has been pointed out more than a fair number of times. This is a place for adventists to get together and share ideas.

I am sorry that you have been in a car accident. Are you ok? Well, probably you are since you are typing to us and letting us know about the accident...

just for the record... NO I am NOT okay. I get on the internet for only a few minutes at a time because I can't do any more than that. However, I doubt that you are being honest as has been said here. People lie and pretend. I do not want sympathy.

Wishing you well....

[CyberGuy]

Originally Posted By: Lil Star

As I read this I have to respond although, probably be banned by the most vocal of persons here. I was not going to come back for a few days because of all the hatred of those here IN MY OPINION in this thread.

I came back. MY MISTAKE. I am the one that said something to the effect that I get banned at the drop of a hat when some here ask the admin or whomever. I have dealt with that.

I will state things I have learned on THIS particular thread as I have read.

1. Never never personally attack anyone.

(except if you are a few select that are allowed to continue even after being asked to stop. Bonnie stopped. Others have kept it up and thus Bonnie responded as ANYone would have done.

2. As long as someone "can't remember saying it", "was not meant to come across the way it did", "you took it too personal", or you are just plain vocal about things. then it is fine to go ahead with anything you want as long as it is supposedly said to be in a joking manner.

3. If you voice your opinions and others don't like it. Then sorry, "suck it up" and get on with your life.

4. If you can't suck it up then you do not have a life outside of this forum and so you should get one.

5. This is the internet. You can lie (because that's what people do on the internet) This is an ADVENTIST forum. Isn't one of the 10 COMMANDMENTS

Lil Star,

Do not develop enemies on my account. Your connection to adventism of some kind remains important to you. It is not to me.

Stay only where it is fun. Stay connected to those friends you have here privately.

You know what your mom and I went thru, why we took the steps we did with the inofrmation we had. I know. the steps we took we at the direction of legal counsel. The rest of this fun and games can continue, but please don't feel you need to defend me

I doubt Legal council advised you to LIE Bonnie. I am talking about the Porno Charges and the other charges NOT related to my posting on company time six years ago. Unless you lied to or mislead the legal council?

[Amelia]

Quote:

So, now, not only was C/A not a safe place, speaking of ridicule for one's beliefs, it was also a place where a person's character could be assassinated with impunity, with admin standing by, doing nothing to intervene.

Yeah? Well let me respond to all and sunder, that after working an 8hr day I don't rush home to jump on CA. Also being on the west coast puts me at a disadvantage of getting to the nasty, naughty, flaming, pokes before half the world sees them. And after half the world sees them and I do happen to find the thread the pokes are on; and I do take action, I am accused of too little too late. Know what y'all can do with that? I'm sure you do. Know why we are told not to cast judgements? Cause we don't have the brains for it.

[Neil D]

just for the record... NO I am NOT okay. I get on the internet for only a few minutes at a time because I can't do any more than that. However, I doubt that you are being honest as has been said here. People lie and pretend. I do not want sympathy.

Wishing you well....

[Stan]

here is the deal..

EVERYONE

You can start a PM that all involved in the subject about the previous battle that is the current discussion.

I do not want to see this, nor does anyone else.

Taking this public will cause a suspension.

Just drop it from the public.

Do not send me a MOM HE STARTED IT FIRST thread.. I really don't care.

AND NO I do not want to be included in the group private mail.

[David Koot]

It has always been the OTHER person who does the personal attacks.

But that is not the case. Sometimes, but not always. That can be said with certainty for two reasons: 1) the nature of communication. Very often, it is not the words communicated that cause offense, but what the person reading or hearing DOES with those words. The words themselves may be devoid of offense as they read, but someone reading them may TAKE OFFENSE at them because of his or her 'noise' or personal filters. 2) Actual occurrences: Someone posts an idea or theory. Someone else responds with questions, or asking for citations of authority. The post is not personal in nature, it is not a personal attack. HOWEVER, the other person TREATS it as a personal attack and thus attacks the one asking the questions. That fact alone does not make those questions into a personal attack.

Solution? Determine whether or not something is a personal attack on the basis of the words as they read, their common meaning. That is a relatively objective basis to rely on, and indeed would seem like the most reasonable way to deal with it.

Dave

[Woody]

Quote:

The devil must have taken me over for a bit. I will take my "influence" and retreat.

Please Star ... Don't feel bad if you have had the Devil take over a bit. We are all sinners and we all have that happen from time to time. God still loves you. I hope that as you retreat ... that you will not take with you any bitter feelings. God be with you in whatever you do. I may not be able to say anything that you will take well .. but most here have a good heart and would only wish you the best.

Blessings .........

[David Koot]

It is one it invades the private life or endangers one livelyhood that the courts take a higher interest in.

[David Koot]

Hi Amelia,

I do understand what you are saying. And I do appreciate that you did delete a very libelous post. I recognize and appreciate your concern and good-faith efforts. I also recognize that C/A is a big place, and a lot can go on without an admin being aware of it unless someone brings it to his/her attention. At the same time, when something IS brought to the attention of admin, then it would be nice if action can be taken. Amelia, please hear me out . . . reputations can be DESTROYED in a short time. Many denominational workers and Conference officers follow some of these threads. Certain types of false, defamatory statements can be so incredibly destructive--instigated by satan, made by those who, perhaps unknowingly, are being used as his tools to destroy--that the mere appearance of such accusations can be a death sentence. In some situations, a person is considered guilty until proven innocent. And, even if innocent, enough damage may be done so as to render it untenable for a person so accused to be viable in some positions. Thus, SOMEONE needs to keep a close watch on such stuff. The stakes are very, very high.

Dave

[Stan]

How would we know if they are libelous?

I have closed the forum to any people just passing through... they have to be registered to view now.. that may change in the future as Google and Yahoo search engines can not enter as well.

I do get puzzled why people do need to 'expose' others on here. Where is the common sense on that?

When you say 'instigated by satan' some view that as you are claiming they are controlled by the Devil, and consider that libel.

There are some humans I fear more than the devil.

[Stan]

As in conflict... one person's Freedom Fighter is another person's Terrorist...

[David Koot]

I have closed the forum to any people just passing through... they have to be registered to view now..

[David Koot]

I do get puzzled why people do need to 'expose' others on here. Where is the common sense on that?

What is being done to prevent that? It is both inappropriate and quite destructive.

[David Koot]

As in conflict... one person's Freedom Fighter is another person's Terrorist...

But that seems to beg the question, and suggest that there are no real standards, no real right and wrong--only in the eye of the beholder. That is anarchy.

[Neil D]

Quote:

And I do appreciate that you did delete a very libelous post. I recognize and appreciate your concern and good-faith efforts. I also recognize that C/A is a big place, and a lot can go on without an admin being aware of it unless someone brings it to his/her attention. At the same time, when something IS brought to the attention of admin, then it would be nice if action can be taken. Amelia, please hear me out . . . reputations can be DESTROYED in a short time. Many denominational workers and Conference officers follow some of these threads. Certain types of false, defamatory statements can be so incredibly destructive--instigated by satan, made by those who, perhaps unknowingly, are being used as his tools to destroy--that the mere appearance of such accusations can be a death sentence

I wonder.....Is each of our reputations so important, that we need a policeperson to patroll the streets of C/A?

Is your reputation so important that one needs to throw out the "libel" charge and threaten law suit?

With all the recriminations here, it's a wonder that this place survives...It's a wonder that there are friends here...It's a wonder that people become polarized here.....It's a wonder that people are so selfish that thier reputations are considered as money or gold....

Sometimes what is the best thing to do, is not the right thing for that moment....ever consider that? There is a time to pick a ripe fruit, and there is a lot of time NOT to pick that same fruit...And some of you, like sour grapes!

Personally, I favor making good friends...I favor building bridges...I favor trying to repair old wounds...personally, I am trying to reach out to various people....

But you know, guys and gal....it's hard to build bridges...it's hard to tell someone else that while you don't agree with thier view point, you still want to be friends...and then to continually live with that ...agitation...It's really hard...

Because you want to tear and slash and become violent in your words.....And what does all this tell you? It shows us who we really are....IT shows us that we are a bunch of nothings...slayers, rapists, murders...It even shows who the supposed "righteous" are who they truely are....that they are in the same boat as their opponents...

Well, guys and gals....I am still here....I have sided with each and every one of you...I don't like what you guys do to each other...Shoot, I don't like what I do to you guys either....but I still like you guys....I will still write to you guys....and I will tell you guys what I think from time to time....

Yeah, guys and gals...this is called "caring"...

[David Koot]

I must question if legal suits are the solution for a spiritual issue. Spiritual issues are best solved by God's spiritual solutions (Ephesians 4:31, 32).

And that is what has restrained me so far. Yet, even Paul the apostle relied on help from the courts.

[David Koot]

I wonder.....Is each of our reputations so important, that we need a policeperson to patroll the streets of C/A?

Is your reputation so important that one needs to throw out the "libel" charge and threaten law suit?

It depends, for one thing, on the nature of the accusations which have been made, and upon the line of work you are in. But aside from that, once again, you have not walked in my shoes, you have not experienced what I have. Remember that.

[Stan]

Quote:

When you say 'instigated by satan' some view that as you are claiming they are controlled by the Devil, and consider that libel.

That is not libel. What I said was that false, destructive accusations are instigated by the devil. That is Scriptural.

I agree BUT THINK OF THIS

As with many things, what you say, and what viewers view them can differ a lot.

[Neil D]

But aside from that, once again, you have not walked in my shoes, you have not experienced what I have. Remember that.

Is your experience any more valuable than mine, David?

I don't think so, David...I think it is unique and different, but more valuable.....no....

[Stan]

My Personal feeling is this..

I would rather some things be taken to the courts than taken to forums. AT least the courts can make a ruling that 'sticks' and has a Bonifide appeal process.

[David Koot]

I agree BUT THINK OF THIS

As with many things, what you say, and what viewers view them can differ a lot.

That happens very, very often, particularly on an internet forum, no doubt. But it doesn't solve the problem. It holds a poster hostage to the 'noise' or filters of someone else, so that no matter what the words mean that are posted, if SOMEONE, somewhere, reads something offensive into them, then the original poster is somehow thought of as 'at fault.' that is an unworkable situation. It violates the basics of communications 101, and would seem to avoid holding those accountable who read such negatitivity into posts which are harmless on their face. That is why the suggestion was made earlier to base determinations of appropriateness or lack thereof, on the words as they read, given their common meaning.

Dave

[Stan]

I do believe that, unless there is a true criminal act involved, people should not go to an employer, potential employer, Pastor, spouse, child etc over comments made here.

[David Koot]

Is your experience any more valuable than mine, David?

I don't think so, David...I think it is unique and different, but more valuable.....no....

No, Neil, you don't understand what I am referring to. Not a question of being more 'valuable.' You really, really don't understand in this case. I encourage you to be slow to judge.