My Mother

[Nan]

Stan asked me if I would submit an obituary for my mother who died recently. This is a slightly modified version of the one which I wrote for her funeral, read by my son Matthew. (And Stan, my grandfather Alex’s parents came to this country from Denmark, in a vessel that sank after it left Australia. I am so glad they made it here )

Valda Ruby was born to Alex Meyers and his wife Emma in Gympie, Queensland 1.10.23. She was the youngest of 4 children . Emma left the marriage when Valda was about 4 years old. They shifted to western Queensland where her father ran a fruit and vegetable store. The family were the only Adventists in the town, and Sabbaths were spent in the bush. She told frequent tales of her life in childhood, of friends and pets and the shop. Some of her favourite foods reflect the shop upbringing, green beans were a special delight and fruit was always a staple .

Her stepmother Lillian joined the family and Valda always regarded her with great affection, feeling she was the mother who brought her up. Her high school years were spent in Roma, slightly closer to Brisbane. A great love in Roma was swimming and she was a local champion. She occasionally boasted of beating a future Olympic swimmer, with self deprecating humor as the future Olympian was several years her junior.

At 16 Valda travelled to Cairns to be bridesmaid at her elder brother's wedding. It was on this trip that her brother, Les, tried to bring her down a peg or two by telling her that he had noticed that the prettiest babies grew into the most ugly people. “And Valda, you were the best looking baby I ever saw”!! Contrary to his expectations, Valda was grateful that she had been beautiful at least once in her life.

After finishing her Junior certificate, Valda spent some months working as a governess in the Gulf Country. Then she and her family decided she would move south, to meet new people and work for a while in the SDA world. Her aim was Tasmania, but that was not fulfilled until more than 30 years later when she took some trips there with Earle.

In Warburton, in 1942, Valda was employed at the Signs Publishing Company. As many of the men were away at war, the women worked on the various machines. On at least one occasion she managed to staple her finger to a page of a book.

During these years many good and lifelong friends were made. Several of the young women lived in a house at the top of Blackwood Avenue with Marion Hay, who worked in the editorial department and who was known to many children across the country as Big Sister in Our Little Friend. The tales of fun and laughter and hard work of those years owe a lot to “Aunty Marion”.

One of the locals who kept coming home on leave from war service was Earle, whose father was Factory Superintendent at the Signs. He was not the only one on the young Valda’s horizon, but certainly the most persistent. They were married on 15 October 1947. Not one of her family was able to come from Queensland for the wedding. Their honeymoon was spent at Lorne on the Great Ocean Road, and even then bush walking seems to have taken preference over meals. On at least one occasion they braved the ire of the boarding house lady by being late for lunch after a long walk to a local beauty spot.

The first 2 years of their married life were spent in a rambling old wooden house also occupied by Earle’s parents Ted and Louise. In September 1949, with the help of a War Service loan, the family moved into the house on Clarke Avenue which they would occupy till Earle’s death in 2002.

Between 1948 and 1954 5 children were born to Earle and Val. The rigours of rearing the family and coping with what we would call primitive conditions took their toll, and for some years Valda was anaemic and unwell. She battled along valiantly. The family never owned a car, although in those days many staples were delivered to the door. The iceman’s trunk, the baker’s van, the weekly visit of the fruit truck, all relieved the burden of transporting essentials home.

Sometimes she felt she never had any time to herself, and that even in the toilet she would be joined by the family cat (who was a kitten of Aunty Marian’s cat Pandora). She gave of herself and struggled to meet the demands of a large family on a single wage. Eventually after some surgery in 1962 her health improved immensely and she began to work in the bindery at the Signs.

Nattle Linny was the pet goat of the family, a goat with a liking for strong peppermints which she knew Val had in her work bag. As soon as Val rounded the corner of the street the goat would see her and start a special calling for the sweets. I am sure this helped her to make the last weary few steps home.

Family holidays with no transport were a rarity, but much planning and saving permitted Val to go to visit her family in Queensland every couple of years in the 60’s and in turn the children accompanied her. This was the first interstate trip for each.

As the children grew and left school, Earle was able to take an early retirement. This was the time of their lives when they could travel, and many local trips were made with their friends John and Beth. On one memorable trip, an attempt to visit a fish and chip shop turned that premises into a drive-in facility when the brakes on John’s car failed. No injuries were sustained.

There were trips to Tasmania, the Snowy Mountains, Cairns, and one trip in 1980 to the West Coast of the US. That preceded the eruption of Mt St Helens by only a few weeks. They enjoyed the forests and other grandeurs of the US. But their great love was New Zealand, particularly the South Island, and this was the focus of their travel. When (Nan) was living in Auckland in the 80’s, each visit was just a stepping stone for some.

In time, 10 grandchildren and then 5 greatgrandchildren arrived. Meeting the new twin daughters of Stephen and Krista was a goal that thankfully she was able to fulfil.

While as active as possible and a great battler, Valda knew suffering. She acquired rheumatoid arthritis in her late 40’s and the pain from this was almost always with her. She had major health problems in 1999, including a battle with cancer, but overcame an incredible sequence of events to press on.

Earle suffered his first stroke in 2001, and from then on he became more and more tired. Valda felt that this gave her time to get used to being alone, as he was often resting, so that when his next stroke proved

She moved into Yarra View SDA Retirement Home , where she proved a vocal resident who always had the good of the institution at heart. Her time there has been greatly cheered by the presence of old friends.

We have lost a mother, grandmother, greatgrandmother and friend. One of her greatest legacies to her children was her belief in God and the power of prayer. She was ready to go to sleep, and would quote the words of her mother-in-law, that when she woke, the next face she saw would be that of her Saviour.

Addition -

My mother had a steady faith and saw prayer as the first solution to problems, although she was also immensely practical and well organised. She had a great sense of humor, and in fact was praying that I would meet someone whose humor could match mine (which I probably learnt from her) when Sammy and I met. He always treated my mother with great affection and respect, and felt he was privileged to officiate at her funeral last week. I owe her much.

I will put a couple of pictures in the photo section.

[Woody]

Thanks for posting this. What a shame that she had RA since her 40s . What a trial.

[Naomi]

Hello Nan,

I enjoyed reading about your mother, I know she was a special lady that has left a hole in your heart.

Aren't we thankful that we have the hope of spending eternity with our mothers and other loved ones.

Naomi

[Nan]

Hi Naomi,

I think you are feeling the same loss just now.....and how much I agree with your conclusion.

Nan

[Stan]

Thanks for posting this Nan, it would appear as if she came from Denmark the same time my family left.

Mine went to Minnesota, ironic if they new each other, they would have been about the same age

[Nan]

My mother and her father were born in Australia, Stan, my greatgrandparents were the immigrants. They came from the Odense area I think and that is probably not spelt correctly.