Leftist proproganda

[Neil D]

[:"blue"] For those of you who insist that I am to the left in my posting of news articles, which are off google, here is a diliberate attempt to find a truely leftist publication that you can harrange. Perhaps you will appreciate my 'middle of the road" view afterall.. ...nah, I doubt it... Nevertheless, here is something that you can bash to your hearts content....or agree...as you see fit... Oh, and please, even if you are not a righty, feel free to comment on what you like and don't like....[/]

The Washington Tattlesnake -- No Bile Left Behind Edition

Time for retirement, in no particular order.

-- Ashlee Simpson. [it goes without saying. Once you've been booed by 78,000 football fans -- and who knows how many out in TV Land -- it's time to hang up the unplugged Shure and find a new line of work. Maybe voiceovers for the new Disney animated vehicle, "The Little Train That Could with Enough Studio Engineering"? Ashlee could play the part of Blunderella, Princess of Pop Dreck, or maybe HoDown, Lordette of the Dance. And, of course, there's always the new Touchstone production, "Speechless in New York."]

-- CNN's 'Inside Politics' with Judy Woodruff. [Now that 'Crossfire' has been dismissed for shooting blanks, CNN should do Woodruff a favor and let her go as well so that she can pursue her real career as a flack for the Republican Party.]

-- Tucker Carlson, Bob Novak, Joe Scarborough, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh. [Couldn't find more slimy manure on a corporate pig farm, or more chicken hearts at a Tyson warehouse, and there are other similarities, too.]

-- Bill O'Reilly. [Time to 'buzz off,' Bill, and retire with your tropical 'falafel.']

-- Armstrong Williams. [someone pay him to shut up -- paging George Soros.]

-- Democratic Party 'consultant' Bob Shrum. [if your advice loses the presidency for seven Democratic candidates, it's time to hit the bricks, or be hit by them.]

-- NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg. [When your city is billions of dollars in debt, the proper response is not to ban smoking in bars because it personally annoys you. New Yorkers now go to get their cocktails and have a smoke in neighboring towns without such Puritanical legislation, thereby costing the city of New York millions in tax revenues, bonehead.]

-- Former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani. [Just sick of the sight of him, and the miscreants he pals around with, like sleazy municipal grafter Bernie Kerik.]

-- NY Gov. George Pataki. [He gives idiocy a bad name.]

-- Kali-fornyuh Guffenor Arnold Schwarzenfluffer. [Let him run for president -- of Austria.]

-- Use of the word 'journalist' or 'journalism' in relation to the mainstream, corporately-owned media. [There are only a few notable exceptions, like Helen Thomas, and they are getting the $100 dollar freeze-out by BushCo. Most of them kiss the feet and swap laughs at cocktail parties with the people they are supposed to cover, so let's drop the pretense. The American mass media is no longer the Fourth Estate in this country, it is the Fifth Column.]

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-- NBC's 'Meet the Press' with Tim Russert. [Russert has proven time

and again that he only asks tough questions on certain occasions and

of certain people, usually liberal Democrats, while he lets some, like Little

George Bush, skate free. Now he's descended into providing a podium

for lying politicians to quibble with each other and those happily-married

media blowhards James Carville and Mary Matalin to repeat their

respective parties' talking points. The show is not worth watching anymore.]

-- MSNBC. [Except for Keith Olbermann. Being a pale reflection of Fox

News Channel is a puny ambition; there are only so many ignorant and

ill-informed viewers out there willing to swallow right-wing guff and bluster,

and Fox News already has them hypnotized. If you can't go in a new

direction, head to the dust bin, and take CNBC with you.]

-- Dennis Miller. [speaking of the lead weight which is NBC's cable

financial channel, it's time for the former leftie turned fire-breathing

rightie Dennis Miller to bow out or get canned from the network. He

has the lowest-rated show on national cable TV and he tanks everywhere

he does his 'comedy' act, except at GOP functions where he's paid big

bucks to spew neocon crapola. He used to be funny; now he's just a

king-size drag who refused to criticize Bush on his show before the election,

but hammered Kerry relentlessly. He's a pathetic whore; perhaps he has

a portrait in his attic that's growing younger and healthier.]

-- NetZero. [Any company stupid enough to hire Dennis Miller as its

TV spokesman shouldn't be trusted to be your ISP. NetZero indeed.]

-- Endless speculation on what Martha Stewart will do when she gets out of jail.

[she'll still be wealthy and won't miss a meal, so who cares?]

-- The phrase 'the liberal media.' [it doesn't exist now, if it ever really did.]

-- The phrase '24/7.'

-- 'X-treme' anything.

-- The phrase 'democracy in Iraq.' [Everyone knows whatever government is

installed won't be any more a real democracy than Peter the Great's Russia,

so let's end the kidding.]

-- 'Tagless' t-shirts or sweaters that have a tag sewn into the hem.

-- Pants so baggy they fall off when you're arrested.

-- Advertising something as 'free' when you have to pay a hefty shipping and

handling charge. [if you have to pay a fee, it's not free.]

-- Pierced body parts, except for earlobes. [Piercing your labia is not an

in-your-face, down-with-The-Man, revolutionary act anymore; suburban

soccer mom's are even doing it these days.]

-- Spin-off's, sequels, and making lame old television series' into

multi-million dollar movies. [Who really wants to see 'The Brady Bunch

Meets Gilligan's Island Part VII'?]

-- The use of Roman numerals instead of Arabic numbers to make

something seem more important and auspicious than it really is.

[super Bowl XXXIX could be easily paired down to Super Bowl 39

without losing any viewers.]

-- The use of pop hits from the 60s and 70s to promote 'male enhancement'

pills, electronic equipment, legal tranquilizers, SUV's, luxury cars and stock

trading services, et al. [Especially if the song lyrics have been altered to fit

the product.]

-- 'Bennifer,' 'Bradiffer' and other cutesy combinations of celebrity couple

names. [it is a rampant Damonic media Afflecktion these days. Although

I kind of like 'Pittifer' for the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston marital discombob.

And if Carrie ever married Larry you could have the 'FisherKing' divorce.]

-- And, last but not least, the entire Bush Administration and their colleagues

and benefactors in the mega-corporations and the mainstream media.

[i hope I don't have to explain this one.]

I could go on, but I see the Denver Boot truck trolling the block -- gotta

move the rust bucket pronto. Later, me binkies!

Copyright 2005 R.S. Janes