David_McQueen Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 From scripture is adultery the only reason for divorce? How does scripture or the fellowship of believers treat couples whose marriage is dead anyway either through emotional or physical neglect/abuse? Is polygamy ever condoned by scripture? Finally, on a lighter note, does a prenuptial show lack of faith in a marriage, or does it make a possible divorce less painful? Quote Firstborn Ministries: Spoken and written word, without apology Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Jeannieb43 Posted February 26, 2005 Moderators Share Posted February 26, 2005 I'll tackle your last question. The answer is No, it doesn't show lack of faith in the marriage. A prenuptial agreement has a two-fold purpose: To direct the division of property in the event of either (1) divorce, or (2) death. On either of those occasions, if you haven't spelled out your agreement or intentions in a legal document [e.g. a Will and/or a Prenup], the STATE WILL DECIDE FOR YOU. If you don't state your agreement legally, a stranger [the State Statutes] will make that decision on your behalf. And remember: A prenup not only protects your separate PROPERTY from being distributed to someone with very little right to it; in certain instances it also protects against your having to pay the DEBTS of the other spouse which were incurred prior to marriage. There's a right way and a wrong way to enter into a prenuptial agreement. The right way is for each party to have his/her own separate lawyer to advise him/her in connection with each provision, and to start the negotiations at least six months prior to the wedding. The wrong way is for one party to present an "agreement" to the other party on the eve of the wedding, expect it to be signed and notarized then and there, with no time or opportunity to examine it or to negotiate its terms. In the latter instance such an agreement can very likely be set aside by the court, on the basis of coercion, undue influence and absence of legal counsel. Quote Jeannie<br /><br /><br />...Change is inevitable; growth is optional.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicodema Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 Quote: From scripture is adultery the only reason for divorce? According to Jesus? Yes -- "unchastity" (NASB); "marital unfaithfulness" (NIV); "fornication" (KJV) is the only reason divorce is ever permitted. Anyone divorcing another for any other reason commits adultery themselves (Matt 19:9) and causes the ex-spouse to commit adultery (Matt 5:32). Additionally, anyone marrying a divorced person commits adultery (Matt 5:32, 19:9) I take this to mean that being divorced for some reason other than sexual unfaithfulness on the part of one's spouse, the only sin-free way one could now live would be to live a celibate life from that moment onward, and not seek to either marry or have sexual relations ever again. Quote: How does scripture or the fellowship of believers treat couples whose marriage is dead anyway either through emotional or physical neglect/abuse? Scripture does not mention dead-end or dead marriages ruined from emotional or physical neglect/abuse. Remember even the NT was written in an era when slavery was just accepted as part of the "norm" within society, without even questioning it. I'm sure it was just expected that a man might end up having to put up with a nagging, frigid shrew as it was that a woman might end up having to put up with a boorish, violent oaf. But I didn't live back then, so I don't know. I think the church should be supportive of individuals and couples in crisis regardless. Judging, shunning, and sides-taking has no place here and will only work more destruction. I don't think the church should take a cavalier attitude toward divorce but at the same time I don't think it should punish people for having problems they can't find solutions to. Instead, the church should be helping to provide solutions, working within the community as well, providing programs and resources to help educate its members, and the public, about domestic violence and abuse, and working to help at-risk families and reduce the risk and incidence of abuse. I don't know what to state about neglect. Being trapped in a "dead" or "loveless" marriage has its own set of challenges and issues. I think the church is already trying to provide some answers here, with marriage encounter weekends and seminars on building a stronger marriage. The challenge here may be to see the relationship as something that must be invested in consciously and consistently in order to grow, something that must be nurtured, and it takes two to tango. Neglect is self-exacerbating: one spouse unresponsive to the efforts of the other soon trains the other to forego any real effort, which in turn leads to that spouse being ignored all the more, etc. It's a vicious cycle, but it's one that can be broken. Just my cheap 2 cents... Quote "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shane Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 I am not sure I agree too much with Coaspen however Sister Nico did forget 1 Corinthians 7:15 which allows abandonment as a reason for divorce. It deals specifically with unbelievers. This is an area where I think our church needs to get a little more in line with the Bible. 1 Corinthians 7:13 states that if an unbleiving spouse is "pleased to dwell" with the believing spouse she or he should not divorce. However we are left asking ourselves with what "pleased to dwell" means. Does that mean the unbelieving allows the believing spouse to practice their faith? I would suspect if the unbelieving spouse makes it difficult for the believing spouse to practice their faith they are not too "pleased to dwell" with them. We know that God never changes. In Ezra 10:11 we find a command for believers to divorce their unbelieving spouses. How can we reconcil that with 1 Corinthians 7:13? Unless "pleased to dwell" means the unbeliever does not make it difficult for the believing spouse to practice the faith. The unbelieving spouses in Ezra's day were leading the believers into idolatry. Many unbelieving spouses today do the same thing. Quote Pastoral Family Counselor... Find me at www.PostumCafe.com Author of Peculiar Christianity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Gregory Matthews Posted February 26, 2005 Moderators Share Posted February 26, 2005 Re: Adultry the only reason for divorce: a) SDA Scholars have discussed the issues presented in this post for well over 50 years, and in all of that time, they have NOT reached agreement. Many consider the comments made by others here to be simplistic, and not in consideration of the meaning of the texts, but rather a literalistic reading of an individual text in isolation form other texts and their meaning. One fundamental question pertains to the issue that divorce and re-marriage are/may be, two different issues. To explain, some take the position that the Church may allow divorce, but should only consider discipline when one re-marries. In other words, when divorce is allowed, it does nto automaticly mean that re-marriage will be allowed. Of, course, others say that to allow divorce automaticly allows re-marriage.. c) Another fundamental question is this: We live in a world of sin, with imperfect people. In such a world, marriages end in a manner that they can not be put back together again. Howe do we as a Chruch treat such people? Do we say that one (or both) party is condemed to a life-long state of singlehood? [Folks I am not putting down the single life. After my divorce, I was single for years.] Some would so condem them. Do we tell people that second marriages must be broken up, and the original marriage re-established again--neither just nor often possible. d) What do the words of Paul mean that one partner should allow the other to leave? e) Does mere baptism and membership make one a Christian? Is it possible for one with baptism and membership to become a non-believer. f) Does the Bible allow some reasons for other than adultry? What is adultry? In a recent case some have raised the issue of "spiritual adultry"? What is that, and is it allowed? Is fornication different from adultry, and does it give the same permission. You know that there are a lot of sexual sins that do not meet the requirent for adultry. Quote Gregory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Jeannieb43 Posted February 27, 2005 Moderators Share Posted February 27, 2005 </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> SDA's have not been taught to study the Bible. We were taught the 'proof text' method. We do not know how to study. Case in point, Ed D's attempts at trying to us to study in a systematic way. Does anyone remember any classes in acadamy or college that you were required to take, if you weren't a pre ministerial student, that were anyother than just plain vanilla Bible classes. <hr /></blockquote><font class="post"> Until about fifteen years ago, I'd have had to agree with you. But recently I've been lucky enough to be part of congregations where the pastors have been "reinventing Adventism." I was a little bit afraid of that expression at first, but now the Scriptural sermons (exegesis of whole chapters during the Sabbath sermons), and a picture of the loving, gracious God who values nothing greater than our freedom... all make me want to study for myself, and give me assurance that I don't have to WORK my way to salvation through some artificial lifestyle. Quote Jeannie<br /><br /><br />...Change is inevitable; growth is optional.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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