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What's wrong with me?


Restin

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There seems to be a new trend in praying at Sabbath School and Prayer Meeting in SDA churches. Instead of those praying who want to, the leadership has us break up into groups of two's or three's, for the prayer time.

I didn't realize how shy I was about this. I never pray out loud and feel terrible about having to pray this way. I dread it so much I want to skip out, but feel so rude to walk out. People will think I'm a rebel, and I'm not.

I love prayer meeting especially, but I dread this part where I have to pray. Never knew I was this way. I feel like something's seriously wrong with me...autism, evil, or something like that I didn't know about me.

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This is not a new trend, Restin, it has been around for many years.

If you are with someone you know and trust, can you simply tell them before bowing

in prayer that you are not comfortable praying out loud. Alternatively, you

might be able to offer a brief and simple sentence thanking God for Sabbath,

church, friends....

I do not think you are a rebel, just someone faced with the unfamiliar.

God bless you.

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Our church does this too as have other churches I have belonged to. It makes me uncomfortable too but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. If I am comfortable all the time I get complacent. You may just tell the two or three others in your group that you feel uncomfortable praying in public so that you want to either pass, pray silently or just say a sentence or two. If you pray silently in a small group, you will have to say "amen" out-loud so they know when you are done.

Pastoral Family Counselor... Find me at www.PostumCafe.com

Author of  Peculiar Christianity

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Thanks for the advice about this. It bothers me so much that I hesitate to go to prayer meetings, but I need it too much to stay away. I think that your suggestion to just tell the few I'm with that I'm uncomfortable and just want to say a few sentences would help me out. It's good to make ourselves progress. I need to just make myself "get over it".

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Maybe it would get easier if you pray out loud at home, then you get used to hearing your own voice in prayer. Just a thought.

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Listen to the others' prayers--listen carefully--it is likely that your prayers are usually more in-depth, more personal, and more "from the heart" than those you'll hear in groups (even in small groups of only two or three). If so, then maybe you'll realize that your prayers will be a HUGE blessing to these groups and YOU might open doors to those who otherwise might not be willing to share as much.

I might be wrong.

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Just say, "I don't pray aloud". No more, no less. Then it's their problem. Nuff sed.

Or, "Pass"

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

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"Pass" is rather awkward.. They keep waiting for you. A statement ends the waiting... Nuff sed

Well, that's rather annoying, isn't it?

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Well, I just wonder if my dread of praying out loud in a group is a sign I'm not really converted. I'd rather it mean I have some autistic sort of mental disorder than for it to mean I'm not okay with God. Rather scary, really.

BTW, I havn't gotten better at this since starting this post. Praying out loud at home seemed like good practice, but the tongue gets tied anyway as soon as I get to prayer meeting.

I wonder if I'm the only one in the world like this!?

The pastor, who used to be a Kirby salesman in his youth, could never relate to my problem, I'm sure, tho he seems a very good leader otherwise. hanging

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I don't see any connection between praying out loud and being truly converted. It seems more like a matter of stage-fright on a smaller scale.

Pastoral Family Counselor... Find me at www.PostumCafe.com

Author of  Peculiar Christianity

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There's nothing wrong with you, Restin, spiritual or otherwise. God made us all different in many ways, including the way our brains work. I never pray out loud, not even at home, and it has nothing to do with stage fright. The issue is, I am not an auditory/verbal person. I can't think and talk (or listen) at the same time. I need silence to process thoughts. Any prayers I pray out loud will either be extremely short, or will have long gaps while I think through what to say next. And feeling pressured because I'm keeping people waiting will seriously block my thought processes. So I decline when asked to pray out loud. But if I write my prayers, the thoughts flow freely, even more so than when I pray without writing.

Catherine

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26.

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." -- C. S. Lewis

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There's nothing wrong with you, Restin, spiritual or otherwise. God made us all different in many ways, including the way our brains work. I never pray out loud, not even at home, and it has nothing to do with stage fright. The issue is, I am not an auditory/verbal person. I can't think and talk (or listen) at the same time. I need silence to process thoughts. Any prayers I pray out loud will either be extremely short, or will have long gaps while I think through what to say next. And feeling pressured because I'm keeping people waiting will seriously block my thought processes. So I decline when asked to pray out loud. But if I write my prayers, the thoughts flow freely, even more so than when I pray without writing.

I am with you Gramma! Jesus said if you want your prayers to be heard, then go to the closet so no one can hear you. Well then, I believe in what He said about this too. For all of the reasons you wrote about, I too feel the same way. Besides, I don't want Satan and his demons to hear my private communication with God.

Sure, verbal prayer is fine, but not the ones I have heard from many who make their prayer a sermon. In fact, IF you are seeking the truth and righteousness, then God will actually know what you are praying to him before it happens. I have experanced a couple of quick answers to my prayers before so I can testify to that!

However, there is something that I have coined "The Lazarus Syndrome" where one prays for something and it appears that God either does not hear you or that He doesn't want to answer your prayer. Of course this must be very frustrating. Perhaps, as with Lazarus, the prayer will be answered, but not as you thought it would be. In any event, the answer probably will be to the advantage and show the glory of God to others. Does this make any sense?

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Well, I just wonder if my dread of praying out loud in a group is a sign I'm not really converted. I'd rather it mean I have some autistic sort of mental disorder than for it to mean I'm not okay with God. Rather scary, really.

BTW, I havn't gotten better at this since starting this post. Praying out loud at home seemed like good practice, but the tongue gets tied anyway as soon as I get to prayer meeting.

I wonder if I'm the only one in the world like this!?

The pastor, who used to be a Kirby salesman in his youth, could never relate to my problem, I'm sure, tho he seems a very good leader otherwise. hanging

I'll respond as a physician and a Christian.

NO!

The problem is prevalent. An autistic individual would not have your forum communications skills. And shyness has nothing to do with your relationship with God. That pastor appears to be a drip.

'Nuff sed is basically right, but telling the leadership to excuse you for X number of weeks or months may gain you some time to strengthen in social matters. Just tell them politely - don't ask.

Pray about it often.

Reading a stylized prayer is acceptable to God. Tell the leadership that initially you intend to compose your prayer on one or two cards. God knows your problems and would not cite you in any way.

May God grant you skills, courage, and desire for public prayer.

George

JawgeFromJawja

Pro 5:18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

(Thank you, Lord. She is my heart and soul.)

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Well, I just wonder if my dread of praying out loud in a group is a sign I'm not really converted. I'd rather it mean I have some autistic sort of mental disorder than for it to mean I'm not okay with God. Rather scary, really.

BTW, I havn't gotten better at this since starting this post. Praying out loud at home seemed like good practice, but the tongue gets tied anyway as soon as I get to prayer meeting.

I wonder if I'm the only one in the world like this!?

I'd say no. I remember the first time they asked me to pray in front of the whole congregation. I wrote the pray down on a piece of paper. When I started to pray my eyes got so blurry I couldn't read what I wrote. I missed reading a lot of it, but for some reason no one figured out that I messed the pray up. So needless to say I have not accepted doing that again since. I do pray that God doesn't hold that against me, but if he does, I guess there's nothing I can do about it.

phkrause

Obstinacy is a barrier to all improvement. - ChL 60
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Thank you guys, I do appreciate your input on this that's bothered me quite much.

This evening at prayer meeting, I just made myself tough up and tell the folks next to me that I didn't want to pray out loud, but we all knelt and got through it. I hope to change some day, but at least I don't have to go late or dread going if I will just be honest about it!

Thanks again.

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At no time should anyone be put under pressure to pray in public. When I was working as a pastor I always made sure that everyone was free to say a prayer outloud or not. When we would kneel down I would say, Anyone who feels impressed to pray and I would end. Some times only one person did and that was fine.

sky

"The merits of His sacrifice are sufficient to present to the Father in our behalf." S.C.36.

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Unless the Lord impresses you to.

sky

"The merits of His sacrifice are sufficient to present to the Father in our behalf." S.C.36.

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I really feel a great need to go to prayer meeting! But I wish they would stop this style of everyone praying out loud. You all have made this a lot easier to handle, and thanks for answering. GLGramma, some of us aren't so verbal and quick-thinking, as you described, and that's probably one of my reasons, yes. I'm also much better at writing my thoughts than saying them outloud.

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God bless you Restin. There is nothing wrong with you. Just tell them you don't want to pray out loud right now. That doesn't mean it will always be that way. It could change as time goes on. But even if it doesn't, what are they going to do, run you away with a stick, for not praying out loud?

Your thoughts are important, so it is good that you can always come here and type them out. I express myself better in print also.

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