Kyle Allen Lewis

[Guest]

Pam,

I have been thinking of you and your family since you left my office this afternoon. I just want you to know that I am so sorry for your loss.

This is a time in your life that no one can say anything to make you feel relief, and most of us know it. Silence falls between you and the people who care about you, because words don't have the healing power that they once did. Be assured that these people around you stay and quietly sympathize and support your grieving process.

We all have a little suffering under our belt. Some losses that we don't talk about anymore, some cemetaries we slow our cars down as we drive by. One of the worst things is the realization that the world continues on. The garbage man arrives do his job in the morning, people are eating breakfast as the knots in your stomach turn. People are laughing, having fun, and genuinely unaware of the sorrow oozing from your every pore right next to them.

I don't have anything to say that will ease your pain. I only want you to know that you are a wonderful person and you have a blanket of friends and family who want to protect you from ever feeling this way again.

The only thing you can do with your grief is embrace it, as you feel its tight grip on you. Let God, your family and friends help you though this time.

Your friend,

Kim

[A. Lewis Sister]

For my husband, my family, my close friends;

Unsure if I will be able to answer that dreaded question "how are you doing?" too many more times with not enough strength to convince all of you that "I'M FINE" . . . I am "NOT FINE"

I am miserable daily. I miss Kyle, so handsome, so caring, I miss him so much I become physically ill.

In a world that is

of some one who has lost a child, here is where I eagerly wait for Kyle to come home. Hoping, hoping to "GOD" that today just might be that day, the day to not give up hope as day light turns into darkness, my heart is not ready for darkness, despair, emptiness, sadness, and the reality of being childless.

Each time acceptance over comes me that my caring,

handsome son KYLE ALLEN is forever gone from me, I can be caught still squeezing my eyes shut. To rid that heart wrenching horrible pain I shudder as tears roll down my face.

A candle I light every day for a baby that GOD had given unto myself and John more than 20 years ago, again full of hope the flame from the candle will help Kyle see his way back home.

Knowing your child is with someone who loves him more than you is overwhelming

To Paul, I hurt with sorrow for not being more grateful or for not saying "thank you" or " I love you" for taking care of me the best you know how.

I can promise you ALL not to worry about me, that one day I will be fine but . . . I CAN'T. I am not the same wife, sister, aunt, or friend that I once was and will never be again...

FOR YOU SON . . .

YOUR MOM IS ACHEING ALL OVER INSIDE AND OUT. THERE CAN NEVER BE TO MANY TIMES TO SAY I AM MISSING YOU ! MY ARMS ACHE TO HUG YOU, MY EYES ACHE FROM TRYING TO SEE IF THATS YOU WALKING DOWN THE STREET, MY EARS ACHE FROM STRAINING HOPING TO HEAR YOUR VOICE ONE MORE TIME, MY HEART ACHES THE MOST!! YOU BEING GONE HAS REALLY TOOK ITS TOLL ON ME AND WILL TIL I MEET UP WITH YOU ONCE AGAIN. I'VE BEEN TOLD THTAT "GOD" DOES NOT LET US ENCOUNTER ANYTHING THAT HE DOES NOT THINK THAT WE CANT HANDLE. NOTHING, I MEAN NOTHING IN MY LIFE SINCE THE DAY YOUR DAD AND I FOUND YOU HAS EFFECTED ME LIKE SEEING YOU LYING IN YOUR BED NOT MOVING, NOT RESPONDING TO ME. THAT IS A VISION I SEE DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY. WHAT I LOOK FORWARD TO IS SEEING YOU AGAIN, HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND SMILING WITH YOUR ARMS OUT EAGER TO HUG YOUR MOMMA. I LOVE YOU AND AGAIN MISS YOU WITH EACH AND EVERY INHALE AND EXHALE OF AIR I TAKE !!!

FOREVER LOVING/MISSING YOU,

MOM

[Stan]

KYLE's MOM

My heart still aches for you...

At Easter, we claim the promise.....

Courage my friend

Stan

[Nan]

There are no words adequate to express the grief you feel, are still feeling - I pray that each day you will be able to rely on God to get through that day, one at a time. To contemplate the whole journey stretching ahead is too much, but you can cope with this one day, in His strength.

[Anthony!]

Hello friends...

Please see this article related to Kyle's death - it is upon the subject of methadone overdose in southern Oregon, published April 5, 2007 in the Medford Mail Tribune.

http://www.mailtribune.com/archive/2007/0405/local/stories/methadonedeaths.htm

[A. Lewis Sister]

MY UNFORGOTTEN FRIENDS - I HAVE SO MUCH TO SHARE - NEED TIME TO FINISH REMINICING WITH THE PAST - I WILL BE BACK -

SINCERLEY,

KYLE'S MOM

[A. Lewis Sister]

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Another mothers' letter,

Seven and one half yrs ... mentally feeling more like three and one half yrs since finding our son dead in his bed

Finding no easy understandable way of expressing my journey since kyle died

having travled thru each stage of processing grief. the first few years of kyle being gone, daily going to the cemetary staying for hrs,

Visiting now only 4 times a yr

birth date: Dec. 11, 1985

death date: July 09, 2005

Christ-mas

Easter

I say often outloud to myself "It's been so LONG it HURTS so bad!!!"

I miss my son oh so much

a single day does not - can not - will not end without talking to him. Alone when I am thinking of Kyle I tilt my head to one side shrug my shoulders tight hugging the memory and remembering the smiles.

Feelings quickly turning to emotional pain, many tears still fall, grateful this ride has gone from hrs to only minutes.

Many, many times I sat down to share my thoughts only to become frustrated really not yet ready to go on (start closure) tonite understqnding I am now ready ...

THANKYOU" to all who viewed this thread, having over 18,000 views assures me no one has forgot

A. lewis' sister

[Gail]

No, you are not forgotten. Thank you for sharing your pain with us. I remember when it happened

((( A Lewis' sister )))

[Gail]

... Although it really doesn't feel like seven and a half years!