why is remarriage ok with our pastors but not ok with Paul

[Gail]

I have found that if or when I am willing to respect another's freedom to hen's opinion and agree with him/her on those points that I can, then both sides can feel at peace to share

Much depends on the presentation. A stark, direct statement quite often invites a stark, direct response.

[Stan]

REV 184

Put the baseball bat down, step back form the plate, go sit on the bench and think about your attitude.

[Narcah]

You do realize Paul states that a lot of his beliefs on marriage are his own opinion and not inspired right? Look at what Jesus said, not Paul. It's kind of like using Jobs friends to prove theology.

[blackdiamond]

It seems that the command for a man to not divorce his wife would imply that a man shouldn't be the one to initiate the divorce. I don't see this as the same as agreeing to a divorce after your wife has left and is actively in a relationship with another man. At this point, it seems like the marriage has already ended and it's just legal paperwork that remains. I'm not sure there is a direct parallel between the Biblical examples of marriage and divorce and the current day legal paperwork.

[The Searcher]

You do have Biblical grounds for divorce, and the fact that she had a child with another man makes it even more so.  So a divorce and re-marriage is available for you.  The torah declares that if a woman leaves her first husband and marries another, or in your case lives with another and has a child by him, then she is not to return to her first husband.  That would be an abomination in Israel.  But then you have the example of Hosea whose wife did exactly as your wife including having a child out of wedlock, and Hosea did not give up on his wife nor did he reject the children of the other men.  I would suggest that you work with your pastor and do some earnest praying to know God's will in this matter.  But according to Scripture, you are free to divorce and re-marry.    

[Gregory Matthews]

Well, the opening post seems to be confused to the point where it cannot easily be understood.

 

However, I will simply make one point:  The author of that post seemingly is not aware of the number of Adventist pastors who have left ministry due to divorce and/or remarriage.

[TruthSeeker123]

With regards to the OP, I don't think you really want to divorce your wife and have great sympathy with your situation.

It's clear that you want to do the right thing and I commend you for that. But, is forcing your estranged wife to remain married to you, even though she wants out and has established moral grounds for divorce, the right thing to do? From what I gather the only reason why you don't want to divorce her is out of fear of not being morally able to remarry her if she repents in the future. Is it true? If I could advise you my advice would be to let her go.

However, if your wife is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I would advise you to write her a letter and pour your heart out to her and not give up on her. It might be that she suffers from a complex (as a result of the abuse) thinking that she doesn't deserve you, your love and your kindness. Patience is needed with survivors of sexual abuse. Most spouses of survivors say that life with them is a living hell until they underwent restoration allowing God to heal their brokenness.

My advice can be summarised as:

(1) Divorce her because forcing her to remain married to you even though moral grounds for divorce has been established is not right;

(2) If she is a survivor of sexual abuse, hang in there, be patient and try to win back her love coz sometimes it can be a living hell (and don't divorce her).

Alternatively, you could divorce her and try to woo her all over again.

[Guest billyjobob]

I've been separated from my spouse for years and she has found someone else even had a child with someone else. But we are married. I've had two sides of the story the liberal and the conservative. And really I just want the biblical. question am I to be alone?

This is why I think the gays should marry. Why shouldn't they be just as miserable as the rest of us.

[Gregory Matthews]

Speak for yourself.

 

Well, I guess that you just did.

[LifeHiscost]

Even though people have gone through the pain of divorce, they are welcome here.

Thanks Stan. I think Jesus takes special circumstances into consideration when one has a really bad start. Look at how much Solomon bent the rules, although there is no specific word indicating he'll be in the kingdom.

 

God is Love!  Jesus saves! 

[Liz]

I agree with Truthseeker, she has a child with another man, divorce her so that she can marry the child's father.  

[Guest billyjobob]

Speak for yourself.

 

Well, I guess that you just did.

I just pray that you can recognize a tongue in cheek joke. I love me goodwife dearly.

 

I now perceive there is no room for humour on this forum. '-,-'  

 

Apologize for that. Beg my pard.

[Gregory Matthews]

Yes, and it seems that you were not able to recognize my tongue in cheek response.