Satire:Adventist church to increase permissible number of haystack toppings to 29

[news]

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- After years of painful study, deliberation and taste-testing, Seventh-day Adventist leaders have decided to increase the already hotly-debated number of permissible haystack Read more [...]

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[Gregory Matthews]

The above URL reports that the number of haystack toppings has been increased to 29. 

It should be pointed out that the fundamentalist Adventists demanded that the permitted toppings be limited to seven (7), the perfect number.

The more liberal SDAs asked that they be increased to seventy-seven (77) toppings based upon the teaching of Matthews 18:21 & 22.

It is expected that the compromise of 29 toppings will not calm the stormy  waters and  it may need to be resolved at the next General Conference in 2020.

 

[phkrause]

On 9/27/2016 at 5:55 PM, Gregory Matthews said:

The above URL reports that the number of haystack toppings has been increased to 29. 

It should be pointed out that the fundamentalist Adventists demanded that the permitted toppings be limited to seven (7), the perfect number.

The more liberal SDAs asked that they be increased to seventy-seven (77) toppings based upon the teaching of Matthews 18:21 & 22.

It is expected that the compromise of 29 toppings will not calm the stormy  waters and  it may need to be resolved at the next General Conference in 2020.