Sex Talk with Chidren

[Dr. Shane]

This past Sabbath afternoon our church discussed behavioral addictions.  Pornography addiction was one of them.  I noted that there were children in the room.  I think the youngest was four or five years old.  There were a few between the ages of six and ten.  And, there was a handful of teenagers.  The speaker, a doctor in counseling (not me), discussed a study that indicated most boys are exposed to pornography for the first time between ages eight and ten.  He was answering a question about when parents need to talk to their children about sex.  The fact he emphasized is that if you don't talk to your children about sex, others will - guaranteed.  It is best for you to talk to them before others do - so start early.  As I looked around the sanctuary, it did not appear one family was uncomfortable with the discussion.  I doubt that would have been the case twenty years ago or perhaps even ten.

I have been taught the best way to protect children against sexual abuse is to educate them starting young.  I started teaching my children basic sexual anatomy when they were three years old.  I used some books I bought at the Christian book store that had some tasteful illustrations.  The "talk" about birds and bees was an ongoing conversation.  It must start and end before the children become adolescents.  Teenagers do not want to talk about sex with their parents.  And, that is how it was in our home.  My children listened to me until they were about 11 or 12.  At that point they would say "TMI, Dad".  They are now 20 and 22 and have began discussing sexuality again.