Death of My Son

[Gregory Matthews]

August 9, 2024

Kratom Withdrawal:  On August 5, 2024, my second son, ended his life with a self-inflicted gun shot.  He was a certified U.S. Police Officer who had retired from working as a Correctional Officer at a major California prison--27 years, I believe.  As such he had been granted by California, a life-time concealed weapon permit.  It is believed that at the time of his death, he may have been 5-days into withdrawal from taking Kratom.

Kratom is an International, very popular herbal remedy.  It is illegal for sale in some nations in Europe.  But, in the United States, it is legal for sale, but may (?) have some restrictions on advertising.  As Kratom is considered to be a natural, herbal item it is not an opioid.  However, it is known to have many of the same effects on people who ingest it as an opioid would have.  It is highly addictive.  Withdrawal is associated with major psychiatric issues.  Withdrawal should always be associated with medical management.

It is likely that we will never know what was going on in his mind at the time of his death.  It is my hope that my publication of his death can result in decisions by people who may be addicted to seek medical help to overcome their addiction.

[Gregory Matthews]

The following article is informative on the issues with kratom.

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-kratom

 

[Gregory Matthews]

The following is an official statement of his death, published by the California Department of Corrections.

https://www.cdcr.ca.gov/insidecdcr/2024/08/09/dave-matthews-retired-officer-passes/

 

[Gregory Matthews]

On September 14, 2017 the California Department of Corrections awarded David the second highest award for his actions in evacuating the residents of a burning department building.  See the link below.

The Gold Star Medal is awarded for heroic deeds under extraordinary circumstances. The employee shall display courage in the face of immediate peril in acting to save the life of another person.

David Matthews, Correctional Officer

California State Prison, Sacramento 

https://www.cdcr.ca.gov/news/2017/09/14/cdcr-honors-employees-at-medal-of-valor-ceremony-4/

 

[bonnie1962]

I was really so sorry to read this. As the mother of four sons, I cannot imagine the pain and heartache for your wife and yourself.

[Gustave]

Like bonnie1962 I can't fathom the heartache and pain either. My brain scampers for words to put together for you Pastor Matthews but I know anything I could say would fall infinitely short. Your Family and your Son will be in my wife and I's prayers.  

[Gregory Matthews]

Thank you, all of you.  Relationships are complicated as they are both biological and step-relationships.  However, all are good as they have been over the years.  My wife (David's step-mother.) is the center-piece that is holding everybody together.  Each of us is dealing with this in their own way. That is normal and healthy.   People differ and do not have to deal with this in the same way.  David's wife told us yesterday that she would like to have the funeral in early October.  We understand her thinking and all are in agreement.  

Me:  I am working very hard in a number of ways, to develop something of lasting good out of this for our society as a whole--something of benefit in the years to come.  That is how I am coping.  If I am successful, you will hear about this in the future.  If I am not, I will probably also tell that story.  But, for now, it is not appropriate to talk about what I am doing.  At this time, I am working on two different proposals.

 

October 27, 2024:  It looks like I have had some success, and I will be able to identify it later.

[Gregory Matthews]

David–Eulogy

R: ‘090624b

 

David Milton Matthews began life in 1972. His Father, Gregory was a Seventh-day Adventist congregational pastor, and his mother, Sharon, would later become a Licensed California Marriage and Family Therapist. His middle name honored his maternal Grandfather who spent his life working for the California Department of Corrections, as a Correctional Officer. At birth, David joined his older brother, Gregory # 4.

 As was typical for the denomination of his parents, David moved several times in Virginia during his early years as his Father began to pastor larger congregations.

 A major change in David’s life came as his Father moved from congregational ministry to becoming a full-time U. S. Army Chaplain. That change resulted in a move to Ft. Ord, in Central California. This resulted in the family living near maternal relatives in the Sacramento area and other relatives living in the Modesto area. That was a positive change which was enjoyed by all.

 While David was living at Ft. Ord, a major change came in his life. His parents decided to separate. His mother moved to Sacramento to be near her relatives and to begin graduate schooling. His Father continued on as an Army Chaplain. Both parents shared joint custody of David and his brother. Over the next years David traveled between locations in the United States, Asia and Panama as visits ranged from short periods of two weeks to longer periods of thirteen-months. After several years as a single parent, his Father married a woman, also named Sharon, who gave David and his brother freely of her love. Christopher later joined this family as David’s younger brother.

 It was characteristic of David for him to want to earn money. In one visit with his Father, David began working for the apartment manager on the first day of his visit.

 On another visit with his Father in New Jersey, he made the acquaintance of the son of a Colonel. One Halloween evening they went out to have some fun. It ended with the Military Police escorting him back to his Father with a full report of his fun activities, which had included smashing pumpkins sitting by people's front doors.

 Later in life David decided to follow in the footsteps of his maternal grandfather and he applied to the California Department of Corrections to train at the Academy. He was accepted in 1996, graduated and was assigned to The California State Prison, Sacramento, located in Folsom, California. He retired in 2022.

 In the year 2000, David married Denice, the love of his life. She brought a daughter, Tiffany, into the marriage. David came to deeply love her as a daughter. With the passage of time, Alayna was born, and David had two daughters whom he deeply loved. He felt good about the accomplishments that both daughters had made in their lives.

 In our society today, every family has stress points. David and Denice were united and met them together. As David, shortly before his death said to his Father, there is no daylight between Denice and I as to how to handle issues as they arise.

 As a Correctional Officer, David held high ethical standards. On one occasion he witnessed a prisoner being mistreated. It was investigated and David told the truth. Administrative and criminal convictions were obtained and the Governor of California awarded David the third highest Department of Corrections medal, for his cooperation in this matter.

 On another occasion, while driving to work, David noticed a fire in a nearby apartment building. He stopped, entered the building and began to awaken and evacuate the people living there. In 2017, the Department of Corrections awarded him the Gold Star, it’s second highest award, for heroic deeds under extraordinary circumstances in saving the lives of those people.

 David enjoyed frequent trips going exploring, camping and fishing with family, friends and cousin Jeff.

 In brief, David lived a full life of giving himself to others, and loving all of his family. He both loved and was loved. His life was cut short well before his time. He is deeply missed by the many who knew him.

 

[Gregory Matthews]

November 4, 2024

One aspect of David's personality was to play down the issues when he did something that was right.  As I have stated, he was awarded the 2nd and 3rd highest medals from the Department of Corrections.  He typically dismissed those as simply doing what was right.  In regard to the evacuation of the burning building, he sometimes dismissed that by stating that people had left the building prior to his arrival.

I will point out that the Department of Corrections would never award the 2nd and 3rd highest awards without fully investigating the incidents and discovering the truth.  David told me that when he arrived, some people had already left the building.  But, he then entered the burning building to discover others who may have been sleeping and needed to be wakened and evacuated.  Yes, he did not do it all.  In addition, another Correctional Officer also stopped and assisted in the evacuation of the burning building.  That person also was recognized with an award.

NOTE:  A decision has been made to have services for David, by his wife, on February 2025, at a local SDA Church, but conducted by a pastor of the church that she attends.  It is expected that the Department of Corrections will provide full honors.

 

 

[GayatfootofCross]

i am so sorry this happened to you and your son

and your family 

so sorry😭

[Gregory Matthews]

Thank you.  My approach to this is to be very public in the hope that such can be an agent to reduce such in the future.

[GayatfootofCross]

yes

 very much so

our beautiful stories must be shared no matter how painful😶

my heart is glad you have a place here 🥰

again my deepest sympathies 

 

 

[BlessedMan]

On 11/11/2024 at 5:36 AM, Gregory Matthews said:

Thank you.  My approach to this is to be very public in the hope that such can be an agent to reduce such in the future.

Gregory, I am very sorry to hear this news of the loss of your son. May God's Word and the good memories always be a comfort and a testimony for you & your's.

Im happy to see you are sharing your pain publically. Pain shared is pain divided.

I do a similar thing on a Canadian Cancer Society web site in regard to the loss of my late wife now. There is a blessing in sharing even the painful parts of our journeys with others who are going through something similar.

We will mention you in our prayers tonight at Church.

There is always a little light

Your brother in Christ, David

[Gregory Matthews]

Thank you.  We live in a world gone wrong and that may be painful.  God is with us.  May the Lord be with you as you continue to experience the death of your wife.

[Rahab]

I just read this thread.

 I am deeply sorry for your loss and pain.

words can never express how deep the feelings are when tragedy strikes 

[Gregory Matthews]

Thank you.

[GayatfootofCross]

God is all over your Dear Boy

 

[Stan]

Am so very very sorry.   I thought I responded earlier.  Those are the tough moments/days/years in life

 

i found these to be harder on clergy than regular members.