Love Your Dark

[GayatfootofCross]

the thrill of Gods Love kept  energizing this very morbidly obese man of late 50's (at the time)

food addict and lazy and just do nothing but draw,chores, and music in dark room/house.. a shut in

and God talked me into burning off some magic daring me to go on a quest in the January 2019 without my crutch (im really fat and cant get around)

face many fears  with only 2 rules

say YES to everything

and accept All Gifts

freaked out i ask ..umm how long

i see a 7 day( highlited in red) calender in my mind

what? 5 days ok i will do 5 days

telling myself i can be away from my comfortable fat fluffy bed with cat for 

F I V E days

ok here goes!

i live off  mountain hwy 88 that goes from Waterloo (Stockton burb) up the steep whiney mountain road to 89 right thru Lake Tahoe
so hitchhike up to down to Reno 

then way down 95 to Vegas baby

then back up 95 to Lake Tahoe back down 88

oink

oh the stories

at one point we smoking weed and looking for stronger drugs im waiting all out of sorts a quick mart (every business has slot machines

Summer n Envy were their names

we together for 2 days of my 7 day trek

Envy was a good looking ..lanky with big arms bi hooker with no home

Summer was pixie and tiny and strung out on heroin ..their small car is home

walking around the casinos with skirt hiked too high

the fist night in their old white car with bust front window in right side the cops asked for ID and let us go and we somehow found ourselves

in casino (flamingo?) parking lot

earlier on the strip we cruising and they got into a fight and he's driving and as God soothing me im safe and secure with no alarms

his attention soly on her face kept driving crazy conjested with show girls walking and clowns n street magic and  colourful floodlights everywhere it seemed and i see Envy's words look like daggers into her heart

Summer rears up on her tiny pixie hind legs and jumped on his lap  while he driving gets his face pulverized

still cruising too fast for my delicate sensibilties 

in the casino parking lot she stepped out and here i am looking at Envy and his face was pummled just like Jesus at his face worst in mel gibsons THE PASSION  same exact JESUS

o coulnt turn away my eyes .. Jesus my Saviour beatened almost to death

the next morning it looked like almost all healed

Envy shrugged with a profound humilty

"i heal quickly:

so again they looking for drugs im in car

..thurseday day 5 of my neverending adventure and i have no cell phone and neither do they

and my "roomate of 35 years" sick with worry knwing what bad condition im in  we living in a violent world thinks im coming home

i told him it will only be 5 days

so i ask the casier in the dark part of vegas if i can use his phone

i call him and assure him it will be a few more days and im still alive

if course we cant exchange i love you's with the cashier hearing all

just like church

so i ask  the cashier about his one wish  for the universe

God always saying things to everyone i meet ..just for them

man what a God

how can u not love Jesus

the cashier looked away and said something about him going into the dark 

and God used my voice (as usual and i sometimes can get anxious ..what now?)

i said back to him  GOD LOVEs THE DARK"

i later cracked up getting back in empty car

what u say to him? love  your dark?"

o lordy what does that even mean?

i sure do know NOW

There is no condemnation...

GOD  sees it all ..you  and gets u to look  deep holding your hand at every painful dark  step 
finding Him in the Center of your chest creating and recreating heaven

talk about shock n awe 

of course i have other hitch hiking  stories

if anyone cares to go deeper

Blessed