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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/08/2015 in Posts
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Stupid Phrases 4 People in Crisis
CoAspen reacted to GayatfootofCross for a topic
Stupid Phrases for People in Crisis http://communicatingacrossboundariesblog.com/2015/09/28/stupid-phrases-for-people-in-crisis/ God will never give you more than you can handle. While some may believe it is theologically correct, depending on your definitions, it is singularly unhelpful to the person who is neck-deep in a crisis, trying to swim against a Tsunami. A wonderful phrase recently came from Support for Special Needs. They suggest changing this from “God will never give you more than you can handle” to “Let me come over and help you do some laundry.” This strikes me as even more theologically correct. It gets better. Yes, yes it does. But right then, it’s not better. And before it gets better, it may get way worse. When God shuts a door, he opens a window. Maybe, but maybe not. Maybe he just shuts a door. Maybe there is no window. There was no window for Job. There was a cosmic battle that raged as he sat in distress. There might not be a window. Did you pray about it? Again – theologically correct. “Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything…” but in a crisis, you don’t heap guilt onto pain and suffering. Pray for the person, but please, please leave the clichés at home. God is good – all the time. Another one that is technically theologically correct. But is it helpful to say this when someone has just lost a child and is screaming at Heaven? Is it helpful to say this to the person who just had their fifth miscarriage? Is it helpful to say this to the woman going through a divorce, because her marriage could not hold up under the stress of a special needs child? They may say it, and we can nod our heads in agreement. But for us to say this from a place that is calm and safe will probably not be helpful. But for the grace of God go I. “But why you? Why do you get that grace and not me? Why am I the one in the crisis? Was God’s grace witheld from me?” Those are valid responses to that phrase. I understand the phrase, and I’ve used it myself, but it doesn’t help the person who is in deep pain. Don’t worry. God’s in Charge. Yeah? Well, he’s not doing a very good job then is he? God is in control, but it brings up some serious theological implications about God’s role in the crisis. Instead of a theology of suffering, we might want to think about a fellowship of suffering. Maybe God needed to get your attention. Thank God no one ever said this to me during times of crisis – because I might have to punch them in the face with a knife. That’s all. Maybe it happened for a reason. Remember what I said about punching someone in the face with a knife? Yeah – that. Just call me if you need anything. While I want to appreciate this, the fact is that people in crisis usually don’t have the ability to call, so they won’t. Even if you don’t know someone well, you can bring them a meal or drive them somewhere. I could never go through what you’re going through. This, my friends, does not comfort. A false elevation of the character and ability to cope of the person going through the crisis only serves to further wound and isolate. The one who is going through a crisis longs to be on the other side. They wake up and breathe deeply, only to remember the awful reality of their situation, and wish they didn’t have to go through it. When I think of your situation, I’m reminded how blessed I am. No. No. No. First off, this is theologically completely incorrect. The beatitudes heap blessing on those that mourn, on those who are meek, on those who are poor in spirit — not on those who are safe, secure, financially stable, and proud. Those in crisis are not an illustration of how blessed everyone else is. In the counter intuitive, upside down way of the Kingdom of God, blessing looks completely different than what we in the West have made it to mean. There are big problems with our use of the word and concept of blessing. So what do we do? How do we respond? I think those are difficult questions, but the best analogy I have for people in acute crisis is looking at them as burn victims. Caring for burn victims is divided into three stages that overlap. The first is the emergent or resuscitative stage. At this stage priority is given to removing the person from the source of the burn and stopping the burning process. The big things to think about are fluid replacement, nutrition, and pain management. Translated into crisis care, this means we’ll bring meals, coffee money, and pick up children from day care. The second stage is the acute or wound healing stage. At this stage, the body is trying to reach a state of balance, while remaining free from infection. During this stage, patients can become withdrawn, combative, or agitated. This stage can be a lengthy and unpredictable stage. Burn victims, like people in crisis, often lash out at those closest to them. Translate this into listening, listening, and listening some more. The final stage is the rehabilitative or restorative stage. The goal at this stage is for a patient to resume a functional role within their family and community. Reconstruction surgery may be needed. Encouragement and reassurance are critical to the person at this stage. This would translate into going on walks with the person, taking them out to a movie or dinner, having them over for coffee or a meal. Burn care has a lot to teach us about loving and caring for people in crisis. And those who care for burn victims rarely use clichés — they are too busy caring. In February, I wrote a piece called Toward a Fellowship of Suffering, and I’ll end what could be a cynical post, with words from that piece. “There is something about suffering that longs for someone to sit with us through the pain. It’s the fellowship of suffering. It’s the words ‘you are not alone’ put into action. The sitting bears witness to our pain. More than a card or a casserole, the familiar, patient presence of another says to us ‘it’s too much for you to bear, but I will be with you, I will sit with you.'” For Part Two: Caring for People in Crisis, tune in here and a written sequel is here.1 point -
Douglas County Oregon says Obama not welcome there
bkopplin reacted to JoeMo for a topic
O Please Lazarus; get real. It's a trite saying; but if the government outlaws gun ownership, only the outlaws (and cops) will have guns. The only way to stop bad guys with guns is for good guys to shoot back (or badder bad guys). Any attempt to make gun ownership illegal in this country will likely result in armed insurrection. Cars kill more people in this country than guns. Should we make cars illegal while we're at it? Didn't Hitler make gun ownership in Germany illegal just before he launched WW2?1 point -
Douglas County Oregon says Obama not welcome there
bkopplin reacted to joeb for a topic
I have to shake my head in wonderment every time I see a post like this coming from a professed Christian. Why? Because for a Christian to blame guns for murder to ignore the most basic of Christian truths. Remember, the first murder happened before any kind of weapon was ever invented. So, murder happens because of sin, not because of guns, or because of weapons of any kind. To insist on anything else is to ignore truth, and thus promote dishonesty. Guns have been proven over and over again to be essential to freedom, essential to liberty. Our founding fathers understood this and that is why they included the right to keep and bear arms in the Constitution. They wanted the citizens of this country to always have the ability to rebel against tyranny and keep their freedom. Every time a dictator has wanted to impose a complete dictatorship he has disarmed the citizenry of that country as one of his first steps in consolidating his power. The fact that you think a political agenda is more important than the right of people to grieve in peace and not want their loved ones to be props for a political agenda says a lot about you, and none of it is good. That you claim not only to be an SDA, but a pastor also, says you don't understand anything about the religion you profess to believe in. You believe in politics before compassion and tyranny over liberty. If you didn't you could not have said what you did here.1 point -
5 Astonishing Real Examples of Forgiveness
GayatfootofCross reacted to phkrause for a topic
Forgiveness. It’s the very core value of Christianity and represents love in the highest form, but yet can be so challenging to extend to those who wrong us. God provides us with the greatest example of forgiveness we’ll ever know by sending His son, who knew no sin, to die for us. Even just moments before Jesus took His last breath, He begged His Father to forgive the very men ruthlessly taking his life, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34) In a stunning illustration of such forgiveness, here are 5 people who have forgiven wrongdoers for the unfathomable. Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Christianity/Galleries/5-Astonishing-Real-Examples-of-Forgiveness.aspx#1 point -
Douglas County Oregon says Obama not welcome there
CoAspen reacted to lazarus for a topic
Taking a stand on the issue is worth the ire of the relatives in this city. It's important to work to save the lives of those who might be killed by some gunmen somewhere. The unhealthy gun culture in America is costing more lives than ISIS ever could. ISIS should give up any plans it has for killing Americans. Nothing they could come up with would be as effective as the current gun culture. It is Presidential to stand up for what is right than to cow-tow to destructive elements in the culture.1 point -
End of ISIS? Putin 'sending 150,000 soldiers to Syria to WIPE OUT evil Islamic State'
Tom Wetmore reacted to CoAspen for a topic
Consider the source and then use common sense! There are actually a lot of sources for finding out the facts, after one excludes all of those with agenda's, which can be difficult at best. I really don't get to excited about political news, as there is almost always an agenda.1 point -
Cart Before the Horse?
8thdaypriest reacted to pnattmbtc for a topic
You're an interesting dude. Rather than rethink an idea when the evidence is against it, you come up with possibilities that you must know in your heart of hearts are terribly unlikely. Like that in the original manuscripts, Paul didn't really write, "be reconciled to God." Of 1,000 texts, there will be 999 saying one thing, and 1 which says another, and you'll reject the 999 to hold on to the idea of the 1, rather than change your mind on that 1. What's so bad about changing your mind? I don't get it. That's how we learn, how we grow. When the evidence leads in a direction, go that way.1 point -
Where would you start?
joeb reacted to JoeMo for a topic
I would never attempt this task as an individual. It would be impossible for me to do an accurate translation or paraphrase because I would (consciously or subconciously) inject my own private interpreation into the document, as so many others have done. Even translations done by theological committees (like the KJV or the NIV) contain some of the committee's subtle private interpretations; even if only through the placement of commas and periods. Plus, I don't know Greek or Hebrew well enough to "translate".1 point -
Failure of 'Signs'
8thdaypriest reacted to Aliensanctuary for a topic
We might extend our lives a weee bit longer by preparing to live in seclusion off the grid for a time, but nothing can save us when the Earth is no longer inhabitable except for believing and following the teachings of Christ. Even if those who belong to the Kingdom die, yet shall they live, because it is nothing for the LORD to resurrect those who are his.1 point -
Failure of 'Signs'
8thdaypriest reacted to Aliensanctuary for a topic
It appears that Jesus Christ will return to Earth to rescue his followers just before the planet experiences an extinction event where human life is no longer sustainable on the planet. Massive meteoric bombardment is a strong possibility along with massive worldwide vulcanism, not to mention weapons of mass destruction unleashed by the Dark Side to kill off humankind. Something very large may come between Earth and Sun, maybe it's just the moon, but total solar eclipses can only be viewed in relatively small areas for relatively short times.1 point