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I do not see the "dress up" vs "dress down" positions as equivalent. For those who wish to "dress up", they will always be welcome. In my experience, even the most laid-back, casual, "dress down" congregation will accept a man in a suit and tie or a woman in an elegant church dress. If you want to dress up, no one will stop you. There are a couple fellows in our congregation who wear suits and ties every week and no one has ever suggested to them that they ought to dress down. I occasionally dress up and I've never received any comments or "looks" suggestion I ought to take off my tie. OTOH I have been to "dress up" congregations where those in casual attire have received comments or looks. This personal experience is why I tend to have less sympathy for the "dress up" position, since they are (in my personal experience) mostly not asking for the right to dress up (which they always have) but rather they want to control how other people dress. I have trouble relating to this desire to want to control other people.

And love does the BEST for the one loved.

Sojourner, the incident that seemed to have caused her desire to no longer attend the church was likely only "the straw that broke the camel's back". Take it to the Lord in prayer; take your wife and children with you! Ask her questions about her own spiritual journey and listen to her answers. Walk in harmony with her and find out what it is she needs. Be a leader; not only a defender. Be a provider; but also be her help meet. This was not about church--it was about your relationship with your wife. 10An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 11The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. 14She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. 15She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. 16She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. 18She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. 19She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. 20She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. 21She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. 24She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. 25Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. 26She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 29“Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.” 30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 31Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

Wanderer, When you start throwing around "trying to become holy by our own works" you are accusing me of promoting self-righteousness when nothing I have said on this thread has to do with me, or anyone else, trying to become holy through how we dress. That is putting words in my mouth. It is you judging my motivations. I cannot become holy by anything I do. No one can. It is impossible. It is God who sanctifies us. I see this entire thread in the context of who God is, and what is HIS just due from us. That has nothing to do with thinking how we dress will make us holy. I see you as a pretty good guy, Wanderer. So don't think that you have offended me to some point that I will now not like you. Your posts show a pretty honest guy and I like that. I respect honesty a lot. It is a rare quality in our society today. I also see quite a bit of humility in you. Once again, a good thing. That you judged the man in the wrinkled suit does not mean I would have. Just because I argue for high standards does not mean I am judgmental. Jesus also argued for the highest standards possible. I see it as the mind set of the liberal that any time someone mentions a standard of behavior the liberal thinks they are being judgmental. It simply is not true. Are there those who use standards to beat people with? Of course there are. But that does not mean everyone who talks standards falls into that group by default. That is judging someone without evidence. Now, if you had seen me condemn someone for what they wore, then you would have a case. However, you have never seen me do such a thing. To point out room for improvement is not being judgmental. To point out that God is worthy of the very best we have is not being judgmental. I have not said to a single person on this thread, you are evil because you disagree with me and you don't like my standards. If I had I would have been being judgmental. I have said nothing even close to that.