Asking People Where They Are From Is Aggression

[phkrause]

I wasn't really sure, so I looked up the spelling for myself too.

[Stan]

Stan, how did you type Korean here.  

Kim chee is getting so popular here nowadays, I never dreamed of any Korean dishes getting so popular in this country. Back in 50's I heard that Americans not only do not like spicy hot food they don't even stock any reddish  colored spice.

Sunday Boston Glove featured Korean dishes.  Amazing!

I copied and pasted it here.  I have enjoyed going to various Korean eateries. One thing I did with a Korean friend is told him that I wanted it as hot as it could be, he laughed because only Koreans can handle it.  It just about killed me but I never flenched.  As soon as i could talk again, I told him, that is not really that hot.  (yet it jut about killed me, and he never knew)

[whbae]

Put a little "HOT SOUCE" in souerkraut, you will make Korean "Kimchi" out of German food.  Actually, the souerkraut  was originated in China, I think.

When some asked me where I am from I am delighted because I feel he is interested in knowing about me.  It also makes me feel good when someone asked me if I ever gone back home as this starts a whole new conversation and let him be educated about what Korea was and is. I wish more people ask me these questions.

[Naomi]

Put a little "HOT SOUCE" in souerkraut, you will make Korean "Kimchi" out of German food.  Actually, the souerkraut  was originated in China, I think.

When some asked me where I am from I am delighted because I feel he is interested in knowing about me.  It also makes me feel good when someone asked me if I ever gone back home as this starts a whole new conversation and let him be educated about what Korea was and is. I wish more people ask me these questions.

Thank you for this post.  I was taken aback by this topic because I have considered it as a way to show an interest in a new person and how to get to know them better.  You can learn so much about a person that way.  Last evening I heard Pastor Jim Gilly say that he is enjoying GC so much because he is asking so many people "where are you from" and listening to their stories.  I thought, "Oh my dear sir, you are being aggressive" 

[whbae]

"where are you from" is a good conversational topic and a question.  One may ask in different ways of asking to find out where they came from.  The other evening we were having a dinner at a restaurant in Boston area. The couple sitting next table start to talk to me, then he asked me "do you live here"?  I told him "no' and I mentioned the name of town where we live. We just found out they live next town over.  A nice conversation we had!  Was he aggressive? No, not at all.

[JoeMo]

I think the offensiveness of asking someone where they are from depends on the attitude in which the question is asked.  If it is asked in friendly curiosity as a conversation maker, it's probably okay.  If it's asked with an attitude of "what planet did you come from?", it's another story.  It's probably less offensive face-to-face where you can read the asker's face and body language than it is to ask over the internet.  Some people are more sensitive than others.

[Stan]

The first time I heard that a question like "where do you come from" was racist was an Article Dr Roy Adams wrote.  I thought he was wrong, and that it was a rather silly statement.  I have learned over the years it was correct.

 

Just my experience... others may have other experiences.

 

[joeb]

Are you American??? If so, be advised that I am also American. Born and raised a 5th generation on both sides -- and in MY culture, it's offensive and aggressive.

Well, Aubrey, I'll make you a deal.  I find political correctness to be highly offensive.  So offensive that it is difficult to put into words.  It's like having someone just walk up to me, and without a word, spit in my face.  I find it snobbery of the worst kind.  It's the kind of snobbery that says, I don't even have to know a person before I am capable of judging their motives.  So, the day you stop spitting in my face with your political correctness I'll make sure I never show any interest in who you are or where you came from.

Deal?

[Gerr]

It would be a silly over-generalization to say that every time the question is asked that it is meant to be racist.  It depends on the context and how it is asked.

[Outta Here]

Well, Aubrey, I'll make you a deal.  I find political correctness to be highly offensive.  So offensive that it is difficult to put into words.  It's like having someone just walk up to me, and without a word, spit in my face.  I find it snobbery of the worst kind.  It's the kind of snobbery that says, I don't even have to know a person before I am capable of judging their motives.  So, the day you stop spitting in my face with your political correctness I'll make sure I never show any interest in who you are or where you came from.

Deal?

You may ignore me. I will do likewise of you. But please remember that your experiences of American culture are not inclusive or representative of the experiences of ALL Americans--political correctness (as you've labeled it) or mere politeness  (as I intended), can go a long way in maintaining a peaceful society. 

Have a peace filled life, joeb.

[Gerr]

Joeb, I'm just telling you how it comes across to me.

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

in my neck of the woods, it's very common to hear,"are you from around here?" when meeting someone new...  I can't imagine anyone feeling as if someone was being aggressive or offensive by asking.  The somewhat differently phrased question, "Where are you from?" isn't really aggressive, imho, but it does seem a bit rude.

On the other hand, when I was going to school in Austria, a local elderly lady in the village asked me (in German) where I was from.  We had a wonderful conversation because she asked...  I was also asked that same question on the trains.  It was because I had an accent and obviously was not a native.  It didn't bother me to be asked.  In fact, it was a rather pleasant way to begin a conversation...

[LifeHiscost]

in my neck of the woods, it's very common to hear,"are you from around here?" when meeting someone new...  I can't imagine anyone feeling as if someone was being aggressive or offensive by asking.  The somewhat differently phrased question, "Where are you from?" isn't really aggressive, imho, but it does seem a bit rude.

On the other hand, when I was going to school in Austria, a local elderly lady in the village asked me (in German) where I was from.  We had a wonderful conversation because she asked...  I was also asked that same question on the trains.  It was because I had an accent and obviously was not a native.  It didn't bother me to be asked.  In fact, it was a rather pleasant way to begin a conversation...

Common sense, seems to me!

God is Love!  Jesus saves! 

You may ignore me. I will do likewise of you. But please remember that your experiences of American culture are not inclusive or representative of the experiences of ALL Americans--political correctness (as you've labeled it) or mere politeness  (as I intended), can go a long way in maintaining a peaceful society. 

Have a peace filled life, joeb.

Que sere sere. Many mole hills would be better left their original height.

God is Love!  Jesus saves! 

[JoeMo]

 

Que sere sere. Many mole hills would be better left their original height.

God is Love!  Jesus saves! 

Very sage advice LHC!!

[Gregory Matthews]

Is Kimchi hot?   Probably, but not always.  In Korea there are many variations of Kimchi.  One kind is called "Green Kimchi: and it  does not have any heat to it at all.  My wife likes that kind best.   Yes, you can order it in a restaurant.  Some kinds have fish products in them and others are vegan--the kind I eat and used to make.

Edited July 8, 2015 by Gregory Matthews

[Bravus]

I wonder whether it would help if the title of the thread were changed to 'Asking people where they are from can be aggressive'?

It's completely possible to ask in a spirit of friendship and inquiry... and it's also completely possible to ask in a spirit that implies that people are lesser human beings because they are not from around here, or that you wish they would go back to where they came from. It's about tone and intention and context... and it's possible that the asker might feel s/he is doing the former, but experience and context and communication differences might mean the asked experience it as the latter.

The course was intended to get people to think about how they communicate, and better communication between people is a good thing.

[Naomi]

Sometimes it is prudent to know who walks into your world.  Some years ago Terry McVey, the Okla City Boomer (USA) stopped for gas in his rented yellow Rider truck.  

US177 is not a heavily traveled road, which is I am sure why he chose that route.  When he stopped for gas he stopped at a little station which also served coffee etc.  As he walked into pay for it all the little old men who were there drinking coffee and solving the world's problems nearly fell out of their booths to see who the stranger was who just walked in.  Would it have made a difference if they had said, "Hey Sonny boy what are you doing in these parts?"  I have viewed the tapes, it is obvious that he was very nervous, and just as obvious that they locals were busting with curiosity

 

I think we should make a point of knowing those peoples who come into our circle.  Believe me, every time I have moved or spent at least a bit of time in  a new place someone will ask who I am, what am I doing here and where I come from.  It's a way of getting to know folks and also a way for communities to protect themselves.

[JoeMo]

I wonder whether it would help if the title of the thread were changed to 'Asking people where they are from can be aggressive'?

My intent on the current title was to highlight the information in the link in the original post on emerging PC policies at a growing number of institutions, which states that the inquiry is indeed aggressive.

I'm fine with the content so far.  Good exchange.

[Outta Here]

In addition to asking where a person is from, the article links to a list of many other examples of common micro-aggressions. These are worthy of perusal as well.

NFSRacialMicroaggressions_Table.pdf

Edited July 8, 2015 by Aubrey