Stan Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 To have a forum, a successful one, with out flaming? Quote If you receive benefit to being here please help out with expenses. https://www.paypal.me/clubadventist Administrator of a few websites like https://adventistdating.com
Moderators Nan Posted October 17, 2007 Moderators Posted October 17, 2007 Well if you had proud grandmothers posting pictures of the young ones......and every one was willing to listen to everyone else.... Quote
Amelia Posted October 17, 2007 Posted October 17, 2007 I don't think there is a forum out that that doesn't have flaming every so often. Quote <p><span style="color:#0000FF;"><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">"Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you."</span></span> Eph 4:29</span><br><br><img src="http://banners.wunderground.com/weathersticker/gizmotimetemp_both/US/OR/Fairview.gif" alt="Fairview.gif"> Fairview Or</p>
Administrators Tom Wetmore Posted October 17, 2007 Administrators Posted October 17, 2007 What makes a forum successful? Quote "Absurdity reigns and confusion makes it look good." "Sinless perfection is such a shallow goal." "I love God only as much as the person I love the least." *Forgiveness is always good news. And that is the gospel truth. (And finally, the ideas expressed above are solely my person views and not that of any organization with which I am associated.)
Morning Glory Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 "I love God only as much as the person I love the least." This statement bothers me!! It makes me shudder with the implications......and wonder how I can EVER rise above it... Morning Glory Quote Kindness is the oil that takes the friction out of life.
Administrators Tom Wetmore Posted October 18, 2007 Administrators Posted October 18, 2007 Staying off topic... I know exactly what you mean. That profoundly sobering statement has haunted me ever since I read it some years ago. I cannot escape, refute or diminish its searing truth. And I added it to my signature line to put the quote immediately before it in perspective. Our only hope is in the good news of the final statement that is the answer to the sinner's prayer, "Lord have mercy..." OK, now... Tom Quote "Absurdity reigns and confusion makes it look good." "Sinless perfection is such a shallow goal." "I love God only as much as the person I love the least." *Forgiveness is always good news. And that is the gospel truth. (And finally, the ideas expressed above are solely my person views and not that of any organization with which I am associated.)
Neil D Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 To have a forum, a successful one, with out flaming? Let's see if I can put this in perspective..... You train a group of swimmers to swim a 100 yard, or 4 laps of 25 yards. The winner gets the satisfaction of saying that he is the best swimmer. They have exercised, and weight trained and are powerful swimmers...on the day of the race, they get instructions that they must swim the back stroke, side stroke, butterfly and free style....and they have to swim with a 50 lb weight straped to their back. So, what do you think they are gonna do when you tell them this? What are they gonna do when they start swimming? And what do you think they are gonna say when they have not trained for this type of race? Do you think that they will remaim calm and collected when they object to the rules of the race? This type of medium is very restrictive in it's communication. Normally, between 2 people, there is a lot of other type of communication that goes on....hand gestures, inflextion in voice, raised eyebrows, cornor of mouths... And you have hampered each one to just perform and communicate with words only... And you want to further the restrictions by deciding to have the board be ruled without an occational flaming???? Isn't this being a bit .....unreasonable............? Quote Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. George Bernard Shaw
Administrators Tom Wetmore Posted October 19, 2007 Administrators Posted October 19, 2007 OK, we all are inclined to dance around this question. Obvious definitional and subjective elements aside, we all do know what you are talking about. So why the hesitancy to give a direct answer? Recent experience here should tell us a lot. Fairly soon after the aggressive attention to eliminate "flaming" the level of posting seems to have declined. So the answer, as I see it, is "No". Some of the largest and most active open forums on the internet are the least restrictive when it comes to flaming. It isn't flaming that's the problem. It is hypersensitivity that kills the natural give and take in a forum environment, IMO. Tom Quote "Absurdity reigns and confusion makes it look good." "Sinless perfection is such a shallow goal." "I love God only as much as the person I love the least." *Forgiveness is always good news. And that is the gospel truth. (And finally, the ideas expressed above are solely my person views and not that of any organization with which I am associated.)
Beryl Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 I realise that I tend to hop in and out of forums, because I am not always able to follow through day after day, but it does seem to me that there is a small handful of people who seem to get stuck on some simple thing, such as the exact interpretation of a single word, and neither is willing to say, "well, does it really matter?" In one forum it seemed to me that both parties were giving a similar interpretation in different words, but neither was going to be the one to say, "Well, does it REALLY matter?" Perhaps that is when the moderator should step in with a few words of wisdom and try to get them to move on to the next question -- but then, they would probably be back disagreeing about the same word just a post or two later! Beryl (PS I don't seem to have that problem in my forum -- probably because they seem to come, read, and disappear! Oh, well, that's a different problem!) Quote "Grace is God doing for us, in us and through us that which He requires of us but which is impossible for us to do in or for ourselves." But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9.
Dr. Shane Posted October 19, 2007 Posted October 19, 2007 Quote: It is hypersensitivity that kills the natural give and take in a forum environment, IMO. I have pointed this out in the past and been told that it is insensitive of me to point out that another member is hypersensitive. Today, I can see it both ways. Not everyone has thick skin. Many people are hypersensitive in that small things the author of a post does, not intending to be offensive, are taken in an offensive way. I don't think the Christ-like thing is just to tell these hypersensitive people to toughen up. I think it behooves those of us that have been here a while to go the extra mile not to offend. Sometimes it is impossible to disagree with another person without offending them. However I think there is a lot we can do in trying to make that effort. Quote: Recent experience here should tell us a lot. Fairly soon after the aggressive attention to eliminate "flaming" the level of posting seems to have declined. I think disagreement increases the activity of a forum. However disagreement doesn't have to be inflammatory. I don't think the leadership here is wanting everyone to agree on everything. I think we are simply being asked to disagree civilly. Let's be considerate of each other when we disagree with each other. Let's not be insulting, attacking or degrading. And let's stay focused on the topic of discussion and not on the other members participating in it. That, in and of itself, will go a long way to playing well with others. Quote Pastoral Family Counselor... Find me at www.PostumCafe.com Author of Peculiar Christianity
Moderators LynnDel Posted October 19, 2007 Moderators Posted October 19, 2007 Has anyone ever been to a roasting - where you "honor" someone, usually a popular person, by proclaiming as many insults as possible about that person? I've never been to one, but I hear they can be a lot of fun, and enjoyed by the person being roasted, as long as that person has a great sense of humor and knows they are loved. Maybe we need to do a better job of making everyone here feel loved and respected. Online, it can be tempting to "grandstand" and reveal how clever one is by responding in a clever, sarcastic way. I have been guilty of that, myself (blush). When we disagree with someone's opinions, it is too easy to call their opinions stupid or not well thought out. I don't believe we'll ever be able to convert an entire forum population to avoid that pitfall. And it is unlikely that a forum community will be without those who have trouble with disagreement, or are sensitive to unintended slights. Sometimes I have read pointed responses to things I've said (sometimes to stupid things I've said), and my natural impulse is to get hot under the collar and respond instantly. With God's grace, I have been able to refrain from responding in kind. I know this forum is read by many people who never post, and I believe it is my responsibility to show the world how Christian believers can communicate even in matters where there is not complete agreement. Quote LD
Clio Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 Yes, it is. There are some here you could ask. Clio Quote A heart where He alone has first place.
olger Posted October 20, 2007 Posted October 20, 2007 It is possible to have a thread(s), but I question that a whole forum is possible. Quote "Please don't feed the drama queens.."
Clio Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 That's too bad. I've been running forums for nearly a decade now... I've never seen a forum have the kinds of problems found here. Not ongoing and constant. Flaming on my forums constitutes immediate gagging (not being able to post) and then moderation of future posts for a while, and then an opportunity to earn back free and open posting. Posting is a privilege not a right. The forum I currently host brings together Christians from many denominations and many backgrounds, we manage to find common ground in our love of Jesus, and our need for Him. I doubt if you could find a single flame anywhere in the forum. We do discuss doctrine... there's a rather fascinating discussion going now titled All Things Rectified... with some diametrically opposed interpretations of some scriptures, but in 40+ posts (so far) there's not a single flame. I will allow it to continue for as long as the participants care to have the discussion... it's not a topic I'm all that interested in, nor is it core to salvation, in fact it all centers on Abba's intentions after sin is abolished... because it is approached from love in all ways and there is no flaming. I can and do guarantee a safe forum with no flaming. I have to, because I also work with survivors of RA, SRA, and SA. Thus we also have safe private folders for abreactive work, as well as journaling. One of the ladies, and I feel I can share this as she posted it in the open forum, was sexually abused and told "God" and "Jesus" were doing it... for 12 years. Needless to say she has trust issues, father issues, and flaming would have very negative consequences in her life. Please do not imply I am a liar by implication again olger. Clio Quote A heart where He alone has first place.
Clio Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 So the answer, as I see it, is "No". Some of the largest and most active open forums on the internet are the least restrictive when it comes to flaming. It isn't flaming that's the problem. It is hypersensitivity that kills the natural give and take in a forum environment, IMO. Tom It really doesn't have to be that way... and I've got 7+ years as a forum hostess to back that up... I have yet to have a forum, an ENTIRE forum, degenerate to hypersensitive offensensitivity. My current forum was only opened about two months ago, but we're already approaching 1000 posts... no flames. My previous forum, while still open, is basically dead, after being ignored for two years. However, when I ran that one as I am the new one, we had over 50,000 posts. Not a typo, 50K posts and only had one contentious discussion that couldn't be worked out over doctrine. It happened to be over the once-saved-always-saved doctrinal differences. We amicably agreed to go our separate ways at that point, but the forum was not damaged as a whole. I have retained that forum, open, because I'm contemplating turning it into a specialized study forum and linking it to my new one. Clio Quote A heart where He alone has first place.
Clio Posted October 22, 2007 Posted October 22, 2007 Has anyone ever been to a roasting - where you "honor" someone, usually a popular person, by proclaiming as many insults as possible about that person? I've never been to one, but I hear they can be a lot of fun, and enjoyed by the person being roasted, as long as that person has a great sense of humor and knows they are loved. Maybe we need to do a better job of making everyone here feel loved and respected. Online, it can be tempting to "grandstand" and reveal how clever one is by responding in a clever, sarcastic way. I have been guilty of that, myself (blush). When we disagree with someone's opinions, it is too easy to call their opinions stupid or not well thought out. I don't believe we'll ever be able to convert an entire forum population to avoid that pitfall. And it is unlikely that a forum community will be without those who have trouble with disagreement, or are sensitive to unintended slights. Sometimes I have read pointed responses to things I've said (sometimes to stupid things I've said), and my natural impulse is to get hot under the collar and respond instantly. With God's grace, I have been able to refrain from responding in kind. I know this forum is read by many people who never post, and I believe it is my responsibility to show the world how Christian believers can communicate even in matters where there is not complete agreement. Great insight Lyndel. Thanks for saying it. Clio Quote A heart where He alone has first place.
LifeHiscost Posted October 23, 2007 Posted October 23, 2007 That profoundly sobering statement has haunted me ever since I read it some years ago. I cannot escape, refute or diminish its searing truth. And I added it to my signature line to put the quote immediately before it in perspective. Our only hope is in the good news of the final statement that is the answer to the sinner's prayer, "Lord have mercy..." The truth of that statement seems to be solidly based on the words of Jesus. "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Matthew 25:40 KJV However it should come as no surprise, as the prince of darkness doesn't waste his time upon those who already believe they are beyond his efforts, other than to bury them. "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." 1 Peter 5:8 NKJV Often the next destination for a fish that has little movement is a frying pan or the fertilizer pile. Regards! Quote Lift Jesus up!!
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