Signs

[SMAN]

Over a Gynecologist's Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck:

"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"

On a Proctologist's door:

"To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber!"

On a Church's Billboard:

"7 days without God makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop:

"Invite us to your next blowout."

At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts!"

In a Nonsmoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window:

"We really know our stuff."

On a Fence:

"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

(However, if you don't, you will be.")

In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank heaven for little grills."

At a Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak."

[Guest gem]

Too funny!