Some facts about "shacking up."

[Parade Orange]

OLGER nothing like GODLY MEN!

amen

[phkrause]

Great news !!

The gal who was contemplating shacking up, just made a decision. Her boyfriend and her talked it over and he proposed. She said yes!

May they walk with the King and be a blessing.

`g

(forgive me for getting excited...)

Praise the Lord.

[doug yowell]

The gal who was contemplating shacking up, just made a decision. Her boyfriend and her talked it over and he proposed. She said yes!

I worked with a guy many years ago who had lived with his girlfriend for over 15 years. He was not religious by any stretch of the imagination being a dope smoking, beer drinking, hard cussing type of guy. When I asked why they didn't get married he just kinda laughed my question off.

He and his girlfriend later moved up to N. Cal. and I lost track of him for a couple of years until one day I ran into him on a job down here. Suprised to see him I asked what had happened to No. Cal. and he just said that it wasn't what they had hoped for. He then quickly, without any solicitation from me said..."and guess what, we got married." When I asked him what caused their sudden change of mind he simply replied with a sheepish grin,"we grew up". I think he was at least 50 at the time.

[Guest]

I may be grown up someday. But in the mean time no shacking. Can I get an amen?

[Gail]

[Gordon1]

Marriage is not the solution unless it is founded on Christ. But such is a rarity in the world or in the Church. Marriage is only a form, a tradition, if not looking to the Second Coming.

[phkrause]

I may be grown up someday. But in the mean time no shacking. Can I get an amen?

AMEN

[ClubV12]

Concerning this issue, I'm going with Pauls advice and bypassing the whole thing.

I'll stay single, I don't want, desire or need anyone or anything to get in my way of a closer connection with the Lord. IF, and thats a BIG "if" the Lord leads me to marriage it will be for the sole purpose of glorifying His name. That as a "team" together we can accomplish more in His service than we could apart. To advance the work of God, is the SINGLE and ONLY reason I would even consider marriage (and shacking up aint gonna happen).

[Gail]

[olger]

I may be grown up someday. But in the mean time no shacking. Can I get an amen?

[fccool]

The major issue with this article is the idea that these people if they got married would be better off. The idea is that they would have more stable marriages, and better relationships. I think that we can say that this simply is not true.

What we call marriage today is solely a legal formality. I talk to women quite a lot, and I understand the realities of the culture. Some guys marry simply because their girlfriends put the food down and say "if I don't see an engagement ring on my finger next week, I'm out of that door". And that's essentially what we call "commitment". And that happens mostly because there's a societal pressure on women to be married. So, much of the marriages eventually becomes a "keeping up with Joneses" issue. It becomes the issue of the culture, rather than jenuine commitment and ideals.

What I find interesting about this article is that it merely throws the statistics around as a deterrent. I.E. cohabitation becomes wrong under any circumstances without going through the legal process and a ceremony that follow it.

By itself, the above sentence should be a nonsense for any rational human being. Marriage is not a ceremony, it's not a legal validation. True marriage revolves around the idea of perfect completeness, commitment and unity. In my opinion, one does not need a ceremony to have that. But, we are culturally conditioned that this is the case, and that's why we ignore the couples who have that relationship, and we condemn them. I find it to lack understanding, and failing to view proper perspective.

I surely would not recommend my son to do that (mostly because our society is screwed up and may give him the wrong idea on the issue), but the reality is that most of the world does not have the same type of guidance, and the same values. Yet, we as Christians tend to attempt to beat it into them with imposed ideals and ignoring the circumstances and understanding where and why they are where they are.

It does not solve anything. It just makes people angry.

[Parade Orange]

Concerning this issue, I'm going with Pauls advice and bypassing the whole thing.

I'll stay single, I don't want, desire or need anyone or anything to get in my way of a closer connection with the Lord. IF, and thats a BIG "if" the Lord leads me to marriage it will be for the sole purpose of glorifying His name. That as a "team" together we can accomplish more in His service than we could apart. To advance the work of God, is the SINGLE and ONLY reason I would even consider marriage (and shacking up aint gonna happen).

AMEN and

[olger]

Quote:

The major issue with this article is the idea that these people if they got married would be better off. The idea is that they would have more stable marriages, and better relationships. I think that we can say that this simply is not true.

When a couple decides to do it God’s way, they avoid a long line of consequences. Your post laments the idea that people who marry have more stable marriages. They do, by default. The others aren’t married. I agree that getting married is not a guarantee that you will be happy – that is another topic that we could discuss.

Quote:

What we call marriage today is solely a legal formality. I talk to women quite a lot, and I understand the realities of the culture. Some guys marry simply because their girlfriends put the food down and say "if I don't see an engagement ring on my finger next week, I'm out of that door". And that's essentially what we call "commitment". And that happens mostly because there's a societal pressure on women to be married. So, much of the marriages eventually becomes a "keeping up with Joneses" issue. It becomes the issue of the culture, rather than jenuine commitment and ideals.

Marriage is a covenant, friend. Much more than a mere legal formality. I agree that people need to choose wisely, and once chosen, treat kindly.

Quote:

What I find interesting about this article is that it merely throws the statistics around as a deterrent. I.E. cohabitation becomes wrong under any circumstances without going through the legal process and a ceremony that follow it.

Thanks. I wrote that “article for a presentation at a Christian college in Scandinavia. It related a few statistics derived from my research, that make an observable difference in people’s lives. Again, marriage is a covenant blessed by God.

Quote:

By itself, the above sentence should be a nonsense for any rational human being. Marriage is not a ceremony, it's not a legal validation. True marriage revolves around the idea of perfect completeness, commitment and unity. In my opinion, one does not need a ceremony to have that. But, we are culturally conditioned that this is the case, and that's why we ignore the couples who have that relationship, and we condemn them. I find it to lack understanding, and failing to view proper perspective.

It seems that you are campaigning for the devaluation of the public marriage ceremony (wedding). Or doing away with it altogether. I have a question for you. In matters of high significance, would it be wise to ask what the Bible says about it? I think so. The Bible does not present marriage as two people having sex together and thus creating lifelong marriage. There is more to it than that – much more.

Quote:

I surely would not recommend my son to do that (mostly because our society is screwed up and may give him the wrong idea on the issue), but the reality is that most of the world does not have the same type of guidance, and the same values. Yet, we as Christians tend to attempt to beat it into them with imposed ideals and ignoring the circumstances and understanding where and why they are where they are.

You will notice that the young woman from facebook requested input regarding shacking up. That is rather different than beating her over the head with something. She is also a member of a church, and a neighbor.

Quote:

It does not solve anything. It just makes people angry.

Be happy. There is good news in the Word of God tonight.

rejoice always,

g

[doug yowell]

I may be grown up someday. But in the mean time no shacking. Can I get an amen?

I think your decision to live for Christ was a pretty grown up indicator.Amen!!( The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom)

[doug yowell]

Concerning this issue, I'm going with Pauls advice and bypassing the whole thing.

I'll stay single, I don't want, desire or need anyone or anything to get in my way of a closer connection with the Lord. IF, and thats a BIG "if" the Lord leads me to marriage it will be for the sole purpose of glorifying His name. That as a "team" together we can accomplish more in His service than we could apart. To advance the work of God, is the SINGLE and ONLY reason I would even consider marriage (and shacking up aint gonna happen).

Nothing wrong with that. Amen#2!!

[doug yowell]

. I.E. cohabitation becomes wrong under any circumstances without going through the legal process and a ceremony that follow it.

By itself, the above sentence should be a nonsense for any rational human being. Marriage is not a ceremony, it's not a legal validation.

.

Really? Since when? Since when did your definitional expectations become the judge of what marriage has historical been understood as?

[doug yowell]

I talk to women quite a lot, and I understand the realities of the culture. Some guys marry simply because their girlfriends put the food down and say "if I don't see an engagement ring on my finger next week, I'm out of that door". And that's essentially what we call "commitment".

Apparently the girls see it differently than you do. By your own reasoning the guys have it right,right? They fall back on the ol' "it's only a piece of paper" line and you agree with that? Going the socially accepted, historically unaltered,legal route IS a commitment. Getting the milk free is not!! Most girls find that out eventually and want more. Women have a right to expect something more than a definite maybe from a real commitment.

[doug yowell]

In my opinion, one does not need a ceremony to have that. But, we are culturally conditioned that this is the case, and that's why we ignore the couples who have that relationship, and we condemn them. I find it to lack understanding, and failing to view proper perspective.

I surely would not recommend my son to do that (mostly because our society is screwed up and may give him the wrong idea on the issue), but the reality is that most of the world does not have the same type of guidance, and the same values. Yet, we as Christians tend to attempt to beat it into them with imposed ideals and ignoring the circumstances and understanding where and why they are where they are.

.

wow, that's quite an indictment on what God established at creation. Your ideal is to give the family, friends, neighbors, church members, and culture the middle finger and announce that what we have is just as good or better better than your screwed up warped perspective?Sounds not only arrogant but down right selfish too.Do you think that Jesus was also screwed up when He told the woman at the well that the man she was living with was not her husband? Or that God was imposing a ill conceived ideal on people when He required a couple to get "married" if they had been discovered to be having sex before the official ceremony?

[Gordon1]

There are really two understandings of marriage, the true (according to the Creator) and the counterfeit (according to Satan).

While God's intent for marriage is as a witness of holy, unselfish love and Christian responsibility, designed to strengthen His Church & message,

Satan's version of marriage features selfish love in all its forms and a me-first bent, designed to sow discord and strife in the church & society. And especially to mess up the minds of children. Babylon, confusion.

In her day EGW wrote that God does not approve of one in a hundred marriages:

"There is not one marriage in one hundred that results happily, that bears the sanction of God" 1 TT 573.

Imagine what she would say today? But we can see for ourselves. "Marriage" as defined by the world is not the solution, though most church-goers follow this path.

[olger]

I agree Gordon. Two people (husband & wife) walking in oneness is evangelism.

`g

[olger]

People who discard marriage are tossing the greatest tool for sanctification that God has given them.

`g

[Gordon1]

I agree Gordon. Two people (husband & wife) walking in oneness is evangelism.`g

Nice.

[Gordon1]

And two people walking in strife is bad news.

[olger]

Right, that results in an evil-for-evil relationship, and must be resolved and repented of in order to experience freedom and joy.

[fccool]

wow, that's quite an indictment on what God established at creation.