Being picked on when young shapes sexual behaviour later in life:

[Stan]

Being teased or ostracized in middle and high school shapes the sexual behaviour of young adults years later, according to the results of a study which suggest it also affects boys and girls in opposite ways.

"Females who were victimized during middle and high school had sex at earlier ages than their peers and had more sexual partners, while males that were routinely victimized through high school showed just the opposite," says Andrew Gallup, a graduate student in biological sciences at Binghamton University in New York.

"They had reduced sexual activity -- that is, they had sex at later ages than their peers and they had fewer sexual partners."

The researchers surveyed 112 undergraduates and found that just nine said they had never been victimized. Of those who had, 73 per cent of girls had been victimized physically or socially by other girls, while 91 per cent of boys had been victimized by other boys.

"It could be the roots or causes of that may simply be competition over a boyfriend or a girlfriend," Gallup says.

Victimization influences sexual activity in opposite ways for males and females because of the different ways they evaluate potential mates, he says.

Females are evolved to seek out high-status males with the resources to provide for them, leaving bullied young men with low social status out in the cold, he says.

Males, on the other hand, are hardwired to look for attractive mates rather than those with high status, he says, so being pushed around isn't such a stigma for young women.

As for why victimized girls have sex earlier and with more partners than their non-bullied peers, he says victimization may cause low self-esteem and leave them more susceptible to sexual pressure.

On the other hand, a growing body of research suggests girls victimize other girls out of envy over their physical appearance, Gallup says, so it could be that the same females who are targets for their peers are most interesting to members of the opposite sex.

"These females who in this study report high victimization and increased sexual activity, these could be attractive females that are being victimized out of envy and resentment of their peers, but they're being selected and preferred as sexual mates," he says.

The paper is published in the current issue of the journal Personality and Individual Differences.

There's a growing push to view bullying as a community health issue and not something confined to school, says Bill Belsey, president of Alberta-based Bullying.org.

Perpetrators often start off on a lifetime of relationship, workplace and sexual harassment problems, but research suggests victims fall prey to many of the same problems, he says.

"It's definitely not something that ends as soon as school is done," says Katie Neu, 17, co-founder of BullyingCanada.ca.

Neu is completing high school online after facing her own bullying issues, but says she regularly hears from those decades older.

"Even now with the website, I'm having adults e-mail me saying, 'I'm being bullied at work, I've been bullied back from when I was a kid growing up and I still can't get over it, what do I do'?" she says.

© Copyright © Canwest News Service

SOURCE

[Gail]

Quote:

As for why victimized girls have sex earlier and with more partners than their non-bullied peers, he says victimization may cause low self-esteem and leave them more susceptible to sexual pressure.

First thing that came to my mind when I read the article. It's not rocket science. It just makes sense as a cause to effect.

[Cosmin M.]

Wow. I need to keep my wits about me when I get to high school!

[Cosmin M.]

True, but who knows what the future holds. I might not go to a S.D.A school. Only God knows.

[Gail]

HEY COSMIN

if you are going to an S.D.A. school things should

be different than at a public high school

Yes, they could be worse. I know kids who suffered abuse in an SDA school. Just be thankful a child has a choice these days!

[Gail]

My point- find what works best for you and may the Lord go with you :)

[Woody]

Having been on SDA school boards ... I can tell you that sometimes the SDA schools are worse because nonSDAs will send their troubled youths there to get them 'fixed'. They then bring drugs and bad influences into the school. But each school is different.

[Cosmin M.]

True. And thank you. Also I did suffer some abuse in the SDA school I went to. But it was only from one certain kid. Before I left on my last day he admitted he picked on me because he was very jealous of me. He never did tell me why though. Also since I have gone to a public school I toughened up and now I am starting to have people fear me. That's a good start. I might always look big and strong but I really don't show it when I do things. That's my problem. Everyone says so. I m too nice. :)

[John317]

As a kid, I went to both public and SDA academies. My experience was a little different, possibly, because my father was the principal and my mother also taught there. I didn't get picked on at all, but I saw a lot of kids picked on terribly. One of my best friends got "picked on." I was the type of kid who defended other kids from bullies, even getting into fights over it, and a couple of times ending up in my father's office for this. It was not a big deal, because it was obvious that I had good cause to do what I did. The bully was a Mexican kid from LA who thought he was a big shot gangster, and I saw him pushing this small boy around.

My friend who was often picked on got into an argument with another kid who was very popular. After school, a bunch of us took them both to an isolated area some distance from the school where they could fight it out. Everyone was egging them on. Kids wanted to see blood. They fought hard and noses of both boys were bleeding badly. I can still hear the sound of bones connecting with bones and see the blood flowing down my friend's face and falling down and getting up and hitting, hitting, crying, and swinging wildly, and all the boys in a circle yelling at both of them to keep fighting.

My friend was picked on sometimes because he was "different" and was not good with girls or with sports or with scholastics. My experience growing up SDA in our school system was that in high school or Jr. high, you had to be good in one of those things in order not to be picked on.

Incidentally, the friend in that fight was later diagnosed as "schizoid," thought he was a chicken, and-- no surprise-- never married. I knew him from second grade on, and still know him today. A story that could make you wanna cry your heart out.

This was at an SDA school.

I never saw anything like that at the public school I went to. It was the biggest high school in the whole state of Arizona; had well over 5, 000 students.

[LynnDel]

I don't think anyone can be TOO nice, unless someone is doing it to "buy" friends, or being too artificially sweet. If you are just naturally caring and giving, you do have to watch out for people taking advantage of you. A nice person can also be wild, crazy, fun -- and assertive. I guess it comes down to knowing all about being as wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove.

LynnDel

[Cosmin M.]

But public schools are still more violent. For example there are drugs,alcohol,fights, and sex. Which you really don't hear much from private schools.

[Cosmin M.]

I am not trying to buy friends. It's just me. I am really nice and like you said, people take advantage of me. Though I have learned and it is getting harder and harder for those kind of people to take advantages of me.

[Joe_in_RP]

Quote:

I can tell you that sometimes the SDA schools are worse because nonSDAs will send their troubled youths there to get them 'fixed'.

This is a problem in all private schools. It was bad when I was in so called christian school for 8 years.

[Cosmin M.]

I am an only child.