Oops! I goofed!

[GreatLakesGramma]

This morning I stayed home from church. Shortly after my husband and son left, someone rang the doorbell. I went to the door.

The young man at the door asked if the land behind our house was private property. I told him it is ours. Then he said he wanted to ask about the trees the county "knocked down" as he put it. These were trees that the tops were broken out of by last summer's tornado that took the shingles off our roof and destroyed 3 of our best shade trees by our house.

Earlier in the winter, we had given someone permission to cut the tops the rest of the way off the 2 trees way at the back of our property, and take them for firewood, along with the trees the county had removed from the creek, cut in segments, and dumped on our property. That family had taken the wood that was already down, but never came back for the treetops. During this past week, the county entirely cut down both trees. I suppose that because they are next to the road, they were afraid they might fall into the road if they broke the rest of the way off, but I doubt that very much. They were hanging down on the side of the trees away from the road.

Now this young man at our door was asking if we had any plans for the trees the county had cut down. I asked him if he needed the firewood, and he said yes. So I told him he could have it. But I never even thought of telling him he couldn't cut them today, until he was already gone. So after he went home for his equipment, there he is back there, cutting up those trees for firewood, on the Lord's holy Sabbath. I am not about to go back there and tell him he can't do it today, after he went home and got his chainsaw and his pickup truck. I sure wish I had remembered to say something while he was here before.

[phkrause]

Don't beat yourself up over it, there's no way you could have known that would happen.

pk

[aldona]

If he is in need of the wood enough to come knock on your door and ask for it, then delaying until Sunday might cause more than just inconvenience.

You just don't know - he might have an old or sick person, or a baby, or a pregnant woman at home that has to be kept warm.

It's not as if he's just going around cutting up firewood on the Sabbath because he enjoys it. I would tend to think of it as an "ox in the ditch" type of situation, or somebody walking through their neighbor's field picking some food because they are hungry.

Remember that the Sabbath was made for man, not the other way around. I think you would be more likely to influence this man for God if he remembers you as the lady who let him have some firewood when he was in need, even though it was your holy day of worship.

aldona

[Doug]

I have a friend who thinks like that. She beats her self up for people who don't follow the Sabbath laws. her sister was doing work on her house on the Sabbath and it upset her for some reason.

[GreatLakesGramma]

You guys are reading more into this than is actually there. I am not beating myself up over anything. Just sharing what happened today. And yes, I did too know he would probably come back today. I just didn't think about it. If I really was that legalistic, I WOULD have gone back there and told him to go away and come back another day.

Also, this was no emergency. He knew the county took down the trees, and the only way he would have known that is if he saw them do. If he was desperate, he would have come days ago, when it happened. And if he was that close to being out of wood, he could also have come days ago & asked for it before the crisis. And yes, I was at home. I have not left my house, except to go to the mailbox, in 2 weeks.

I am just disappointed with myself that I didn't even think about it being Sabbath until after he had gone. That God's holy day doesn't mean as much to me as He intended it to.

[Neil D]

AAAannnndd, I think there is some advise to you already given that needs to be repeated.....

......don't beat yourself up over it....

.......and yes, you are still beating yourself up, even though you don't think you are...

[GreatLakesGramma]

Think what you want. I know better. But what I say doesn't always mean the same to others as it does to me, and it's hard to get through that sometimes. "Disappointed in myself" really doesn't describe what I really felt. It was impossible to tell that in just one or two words, and hey, I'm on the lazy side sometimes.

It really was just a small incident that gave me pause to think how I almost always miss opportunities to put in a word in God's behalf, simply because my entire life is so centered in God, it is so foreign to me to comprehend a life without God, even though I once lived that way, that it doesn't even occur to me to realize that someone would need to be told that they shouldn't cut up trees on my property on the Sabbath, because they didn't already know it. I am SO out of touch with non-Christians (not that this young man is one - I have no way of knowing that).

Not something to feel bad about, which I don't, not even a little bit. It was an out of the ordinary incident in an otherwise very uneventful time of my life that I felt like telling someone about.

[Cosmin M.]

Wow.

[Neil D]

Think what you want. I know better. But what I say doesn't always mean the same to others as it does to me, and it's hard to get through that sometimes.

[GreatLakesGramma]

It just occurred to me, after I posted and left the forum, what I said above might give someone the impression that I think I am closer to God than other people, or in some other way better than others. That is not the case.

I want to be close to God more than anything else in my life.

And since I am alone most of the time, and spend much of my time doing mindless, repetitive tasks, I have a lot more opportunity to focus on spiritual things than most people do. Plus, God has intervened in my life so many times, in so many different ways, I have learned to depend on Him completely.

[Woody]

I could be wrong ... but the grief I hear is that it was an opportunity lost. We all have those. No guilt ... just disappointment. And that is cool. If you weren't disappointed ... I would wonder about you.

[GreatLakesGramma]

Neil, how little you know me. No surprise. I do avoid showing vulnerability, and for a very good reason. I spent much of my life, before God finally got through to me and began healing my emotional scars, trying to get attention and acceptance by constantly playing on the sympathy of everyone around me. You know, the "poor little me" act. I didn't feel that anyone would ever care about me for any other reason.

Now, I am very, VERY careful to avoid saying ANYTHING that seems to me in any way to incline even in the tiniest little bit, to be going in that direction, because I KNOW for a fact, that if I let even one bit of it out, I will get carried away and start the self-pity act. In fact, I edit and re-edit my posts again and again, to remove that kind of thing, because I DO tend to almost always start heading in that direction. AND get carried away, BIG TIME. And I am NOT going to let myself get caught in that trap again, if I can help it.

Unfortunately, sometimes much of my talking to God, way too much of it, actually consists of self-centered whining to God. And lately, I have been doing a lot of begging and pleading with God to intervene in the lives of the 2 of my 3 adult children who are living in ways that separate them from Him. And I had originally put that in my last post on this thread, but felt it was getting too close to that "poor me" emotionally manipulative [censored] I'm trying to get out of my life and keep out.

So, sorry for the impression that I want you to think I'm strong, which is not actually true. I'm just trying to avoid something much, much worse. Believe me, you would NOT want me around here if I let loose and left all that in my posts. You would get really, really sick of it, really fast, I'm sure!

Now you know the rest of the story, so please do not expect to see any of that kind of vulnerability from me, as it's just too dangerous. Like an alcoholic who can't take even a sip of alcohol, I can't dare go in that direction. I am much too weak, still, even after all these years. And how I long for full healing! The very reason I latch onto God so tightly.

----

Oh, and like I said before. Nothing ever happens around here, and I just felt like telling somebody about that out of the ordinary incident. And I don't have anyone else to talk to. I wasn't about to tell my husband, for fear HE'D go tell the young man to go away and come back another day. He didn't notice because he is hard of hearing, and it was far enough from the house that he didn't hear the chain saw. Telling you guys didn't take any courage, because I'm OK with the fact that I'm not perfect.

[GreatLakesGramma]

Oh man! I didn't think THAT word was bad enough to be censored!

[LifeHiscost]

I want to be close to God more than anything else in my life.

And since I am alone most of the time, and spend much of my time doing mindless, repetitive tasks, I have a lot more opportunity to focus on spiritual things than most people do. Plus, God has intervened in my life so many times, in so many different ways, I have learned to depend on Him completely.

Sounds like testimony for a very successful friendship with Jesus. If I were in the same boat with a Friend like that I would just say__'I'm really sorry. Would you help me be a little more thoughtful next time?'___And I bet He will. Of course that's if I were a betting person. :smile:

Regards!

[Neil D]

Oh man! I didn't think THAT word was bad enough to be censored!

heheeheheheh.....This post is compounding your percieved problem...You keep telling us that is wasn't a problem, we keep telling you , "No worrys"....and you keep telling us that it was NOT a problem...Now, we get to see more of who you are....although many of us are not surprised at seeing these new revelations about you...because we deduced this already....Some of them....

Like Redwood said, we percieve that it was a oppertunity lost. We, also, miss oppertunities and see them with 20-20 hindsight. We understand and impute no judgement/concerns...We just sympathise with you...

And uh, ...don't worry about the "poor pity me" attitude that might be displayed here....there are enough of us stone cold hard hearted people to help you squash that attitude....he said, running away before violence is done to him....

[GreatLakesGramma]

How you would react is not the problem. Allowing myself to fall back into bad habits is the problem. I am NOT going to go there again. I am also not going to give you cold-hearted guys reason to jump all over me for whining.

(And I really wanted that word to come through, or else I would have used a different one. I actually stopped and thought about it, and decided not to change it. Bummer!)

Quote:

Sounds like testimony for a very successful friendship with Jesus. If I were in the same boat with a Friend like that I would just say__'I'm really sorry. Would you help me be a little more thoughtful next time?'___And I bet He will. Of course that's if I were a betting person.

Exactly why I don't beat myself up over it. God has not given me the gift of being able to come up with the right things to say to strangers during chance encounters. If He wants me to say something, He will have to put it in my mouth and make it come out without my having a chance to think about it. And He doesn't. Because He didn't make me for that kind of work.

When I feel disappointed or wish I were different, it's more a matter of envy - wishing those things were as easy for me as they are for other people. But for the most part, I am OK with what he's made me to be. It's who I am, and the way I like to be, except for the self-centered part. Except when I start feeling useless, being home all the time, having hardly any contact with other people. But I never have to go looking for people. When someone needs me, God brings them to me. And when he doesn't, I guess it's probably time for Him to work on some more of the issues in my own life. There's always something.

In fact, now that I think of it, even the self-centered part that I hate so much is important to God's plan for me. Because I analyze my own behavior, feelings, and motives more than anyone else's. And it's that deep, analytical view of my own failings and weaknesses that equip me to recognize the same in the young people that come to me looking for answers to the same emotional and spiritual issues I've dealt with, and give them the answers, and the hope, that they are looking for.

Maybe I should thank God for those weaknesses, instead of asking Him to change them. That's a new thought!

[olger]

I for one, appreciate your comittment to God's government, Catherine.

ger

[Amelia]

I have often had moments like yours Catherine. But over the years I came to the conclusion that my use for God doesn't lay in that direction. For those whose gifts lead them that way; they are always on top of the "moment for God".

Quote:

Oh man! I didn't think THAT word was bad enough to be censored!

Well now I want to know what the word was. LOL

[GreatLakesGramma]

Starts with C and rhymes with trap. Not really all that bad of a word in my opinion, but I guess whoever decided on the "list" sees it differently.

[GreatLakesGramma]

I have often had moments like yours Catherine. But over the years I came to the conclusion that my use for God doesn't lay in that direction. For those whose gifts lead them that way; they are always on top of the "moment for God".

I am so thankful that God wants us & can use us just the way we are. I only wish people and society, and whatever other factors come into it, didn't make it so hard to learn that sometimes.

[LifeHiscost]

Maybe I should thank God for those weaknesses, instead of asking Him to change them. That's a new thought!

"But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!" 2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP

Not so new, GLG

I'm sure you've heard this before.

"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." Ecclesiastes 1:9 NIV

Blessings!

[LifeHiscost]

I only wish people and society, and whatever other factors come into it, didn't make it so hard to learn that sometimes.

Perhaps you've heard of the Romanian babies that were adopted by Americans and the babies being so scarred they're psyches were unable to respond to the love and cuddling of more healthy relationships often found in American families.

Well, the same phenomena happens in American dysfunctional families, and very often the rest of the life of the young ones remains scarred. Very often older people, even in the Christian church have not learned to love the way Jesus loves, and others are often the recipients of behavior formed by that early scarring.

That is probably the reason Jesus asks us to forgive one another, even as He has forgiven us.

"Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give." Matthew 10:8 NIV

""A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another." John 13:33 NASB

After about 50 years I'm still hungering for that ability to be improved, and that's with asking Jesus often to give the gift, for it is a gift, without doubt.

Blessings!

[Neil D]

How you would react is not the problem. Allowing myself to fall back into bad habits is the problem. I am NOT going to go there again. I am also not going to give you cold-hearted guys reason to jump all over me for whining.

Please, Catherine, let me reasure you that, while some of us ARE stone cold hard hearted individuals, we would only "jump all over" you as a service...It wouldn't be if we were, say, ENJOYING it as we jumped all over you....

[GreatLakesGramma]

It wouldn't be if we were, say, ENJOYING it as we jumped all over you....

Uh huh. Why am I not convinced?

[GreatLakesGramma]

Not so new, GLG

Blessings!

New to me, I meant. That self-centeredness could be a good thing in any respect. But then, maybe not everything I have always thought of as being self-centeredness really is. I have found that many Christian concepts don't really mean what I used to think they did. And some, maybe most, of that mis-definition was from the words and examples of other Christians.

One really important thing that I have come to understand in the last decade or so is that society has corrupted the definitions of many Christian concepts so badly they barely even resemble God's definition. And most Christians have accepted those perverted definitions. And when someone actually lives by the Bible's definitions, non-Christians, and even some Christians, accuse them of being hypocrites, not acting the way Christians should.

But we HAVE to let the GOD define those concepts for us, and his definition can only be determined by serious Bible study, comparing scripture with scripture, and looking not only at God's words, but at His actions. And that means in both Old and New Testaments, because God Himself has said "For I am the LORD, I do not change...." Malachi 3:6.