Female teachers with students

[Joe_in_RP]

Can someone explain this to me?

Worldnet Daily has been documenting some of the case of female teachers with students. Here is the article:

http://wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53859

There looks to be a hundred or so in the last few years and probable more not recorded there. Does anyone know why this happens?

[Gail]

I looked at a few and couldn't go on. Just such a sad state of affairs (excuse the pun).

[olger]

"But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived."

[GreatLakesGramma]

Not all pedophiles are men.

[Bravus]

Please note that in trying to clarify some issues I am *not* condoning this form of behaviour. The power relations are all wrong and, whether the boys believe so or not, they are harmed by it.

But two comments: the first is that there is a useful distinction between pedophilia (sexual attraction to prepubescent children) and ephebophilia (sexual attraction to pubescent but still immature people - post-puberty but younger than 16 or 18). There is a real difference between the magnitude of the harm caused, although both are still abuse.

Aligned with that: boys as young as 14 and certainly as young as 16 were marrying a couple of generations ago: and people are maturing sexually at younger ages than they were then. Although we have strong moral and personal reasons for wanting people to wait, there is little evidence that sex alone is harmful to teenage boys.

Now, the teachers are in a power relationship with the boys, and that makes their actions wrong, unquestionably. But the question asked was 'Why does this happen?', so I'm trying to explore some reasons. Remember, understanding is not condoning.

I suspect it relates to power relations within our society. Men generally still have the power, and are generally still expected to initiate sexual advances. We might think we've moved on but look at the vast majority of romantic comedies made to understand what the actual expectations in our society are.

So, many teenage boys are in adult bodies, and some might be quite mature. If they make it very clear that they find a young female teacher attractive, and in fact make sexual advances to her, she may find it difficult to resist. It's her job and her role to firmly reject such advances, or even any forms of admiration on the part of the boys that cross the line, but not everyone manages to do so.

(I do also wonder whether some of these women - maybe many of them - were victims of some form of sexual abuse themselves, and their perception of their control over their own bodies and sexuality was stolen from them at a young age.)

It's complex and difficult and damaging for all concerned. But probably understandable on some level.

And caterwauling about the different punishments handed out to men who prey on pre-pubescent children versus women who have consensual but inappropriate relationships with boys in their mid-teens just shows a complete disconnect from the realities of sex and power in our society.

[Cosmin M.]

First of all they are all ugly and why would the student agree to their nut sized minded ideas?

Second of all, they deserved to have been sentenced to more time.

[GreatLakesGramma]

Bravus, what you say is true. It isn't always the teacher who is the aggressor. But no matter how aggressively a minor male pursues and pressures a teacher, or any legally adult woman, she will still get all the punishment.

And I think you are right about many of them being victims of sexual abuse themselves. I once read, years ago, than most child molesters were sexually abused in childhood themselves. I don't know if that is still true now.

I had never heard of the word "ephebophilia." I didn't realize there was a separate word for that. Or I would have used that. All of the victims in those, or at least the ones I read, were teens, including the girls.

[carolaa]

I think some of these women haven't matured emotionally past their teenage years, for whatever reason.

I wonder if maybe women with underage males is getting reported more these days than it used to be.

I also think the rate of women involved with underage males is far less than the rate of men involved with underage girls.

[John317]

It happens far more often than people realize. For every woman caught there are many who did it and weren't caught. I worked at a facility for juvenile delinquents, and saw it happen often. Most of these women were lonely and had bad marriages or were single. I don't know why but they were attracted to these boys ages 16-18. Some of the women had sons the same ages as the boys they got involved with.

[GreatLakesGramma]

Have you ever read Beyond Prison Walls, by Jeris Bragan? His 10-grade church school teacher was sexually involved with his cousin, Russell. It seems that everyone knew it, because Jeris said that when Russell turned 18 and graduated, everyone breathed a sigh of relief when he followed the teacher to another state and married her. If they knew, they still didn't do anything about it. Times have certainly changed.

[Woody]

Yes I've read this book. Great Book. He has written several.

[John317]

HEY JOHN317

I think you are right about some of these women were

lonely and some had bad marriages....

like I said before it shows you how far people

can go into sin

I worked closely with four of the women who got involved with the boys, and every last one of them was dying for attention and to feel loved. These boys knew how to manipulate-- they are street kids, after all--and they knew what these women wanted to hear.

What motivates the boys? Drugs, booze, bragging rights, and often a week-end with the woman at a hotel. The woman eventually gets fired, and once in a while is charged with a felony.

[Robert]

I don't know why but they were attracted to these boys ages 16-18.

It's about sex and infatuation. After all these young men are at the pinnacle of their sexuality. They are like the energizer bunny...they keep going and going and going....

[Robert]

every last one of them was dying for attention and to feel loved.

You know, these types of excuses really "p" me off. Why is it when women sin it's justified, but when guys sin they are "dogs"? Women are not angels...neither are men. Sin is sin no matter how you justify it.

Rob

[Joe_in_RP]

Robert, I don't think he is excusing these women. He is providing exactly what I was hoping for. Someone who has experience to explain the motives. Hey sin is sin. Its very helpful for me to understand why because I could not know what would go though a persons head to engage a child in something like this.

[John317]

Originally Posted By: John317

every last one of them was dying for attention and to feel loved.

You know, these types of excuses really "p" me off. Why is it when women sin it's justified, but when guys sin they are "dogs"? Women are not angels...neither are men. Sin is sin no matter how you justify it.

Rob

Who's justifying it? I am explaining why the ones I know of did what they did.

I certainly don't think it justifies what they do. They're adults and know better and should be punished for their behavior.

[John317]

Hey, thanks, dgrimm60. I certainly didn't mean for it to be taken as an excuse. I'm glad to know most people probably saw that.

[phkrause]

pk